Am I just being impatient? Honest opinions please!

[KittyCat82]

Hello lovely ladies

My signature says it all really-I am 28, hubby 33-had onto cycle 13 of perfectly timed bding and a couple cycles prior ntnp. Had all tests and all good inc excellent sperm count for hubby. I too have been pregnant before (not by hubby and couldnt keep it unfortunately-I was 17). So we are 'unexplained'.

I am onto month 3 of clomid and it makes me feel awful-really depressed amongst other things

We are currently under NHS and I they want me to do 6 months but I honestly dont know if I can stand it/what good it is doing me seeing as I ovulate anyway etc...

I think after 6 months (so June/July) they MAY move us onto IUI and then once its 2 years they will put us on waiting list for IVF BUT I am told that the funding may be completely cut in the mean time....I know I need to clarify some of this with my FS and will try and ring this week.

We did have a free consultation with a private FS and we woukd be in a position to have private IVF if it came to it as we are open to egg sharing. I am really just wanting to move things on now-if it hasnt happened yet I believe there must be a reason and cant just go on like this every month. However, does anyone think I am just being impatient and it hasnt been long enough trying yet?

How long do you leave it before moving onto IVF if you have means to go private?

Any advice welcome-I feel a bit lost at the moment...x

 

[raf-wife]

hi hun, to be honest with you my opinion is if you are able to go private i say do it, i had years of nhs clinics, clomid, metformin etc and was finally able to go private this year for ivf unfortunatly it failed but if i could of gone private sooner i definatly would have, i feel a lot of years were wasted waiting for nhs tests and appointments and once i went private it all happened very quickly x

 

[KittyCat82]

Thanks hun. I am very sorry to hear your IVF failed-have you got diagnosed issues? I am of course realistic that it may not happen first time (or at all) but must try and stay positive! Will you consider IVF again?

I am leaning to just getting on with it but I wonder in the scheme of things that people would think it would be better to give it more time?! x

 

[MiBebe]

Hi KittyCat, first I just wanted to say sorry you're going through this. I think pretty much all of us in here are impatient and we just want our baby NOW. I've been trying for over 6 years so trust me I know what you're going through.

I am going to assume you're in the UK so my experience is a tad different since my health insurance is different than yours. I think that for insurance purposes they have to try meds first (depending on your age), then IUI, then move on to IVF if those other methods don't work for you.

I don't have any answers for you, but just hang in there and know that you're not alone.

ETA: I agree with Raf-Wife. If you can skip all that and go straight to private IVF I highly recommend it as well.

 

[KittyCat82]

Thank you mibebe-6 years..I hope I haven't offended you by moaning about 13 months then

I am usually quite calm about it all but the clomid turns me into a monster-ask my hubby!! I just want to feel like we are finally doing something productive and tackling any potential problem rather than ambling along..Don't get me wrong, the NHS do a good job but if you want it for free (not technically given how much we pay in tax and national insurance) you just have to go at their speed, do what they say rather than make choices for yourself.

Like I said, I am pretty confused by it all! Is it a bit rushed to go into IVF after 13 months really? x

 

[mrssunshine78]

hi
me and my hubby are also unexplained, we've just had our 1st ivf cycle dec/jan, i got pregnant, but unfortunately miscarried, we've been ttc for 3.5 yrs now. We waited until we could get free ivf, basically because i really didn't want to have ivf and because we're unexplained i wanted to try everything else before we turned to ivf.

to date i've had 3 rounds of clomid, then 3 rounds of iui, then 2 rounds of iui with clomid and then ivf, we had to be trying for 3 yrs to get free ivf.

anyways i'm probably rambling, i personally don't think i would have been ready for ivf after 13 cycles, but everyone is different, maybe you could go for a free private consulatation and just see what they say?

good luck to you

 

[KittyCat82]

Thanks Mrssunshine-its horrible to be unexplained isnt it. We have been for a free consultation and in fairness, they said to try at least the 6 clomid as this would bring us up to about 18 months. They said with unexplained it is difficult to say how long you should keep trying naturally-many couples do get pregnant up to 2 years although I think once you pass the 12month stage your chances go down a little but the statistics confuse me!

I have also heard that IUI isnt good with unexplained and the FS said we would be better to go straight to IVF given the sucess rates-she said the best test for unexplained is in fact IVF.

I just dont want to spend months and months going through the motions of the NHS when in reality if we were paying from day 1 they wouldnt recommend that treatment-I get the feeling the NHS just string it out in the hope in that time you will fall pregnant anyway-which is fair enough I suppose and many people do! x

 

[MiBebe]

Thank you mibebe-6 years..I hope I haven't offended you by moaning about 13 months then

Oh trust me I don't blame you. I would never get mad at anyone that had been TTC less than me and were whining We're all in this together.

For the first three years of our marriage we weren't using protection, but we really weren't trying either. When I saw I hit that 39 mark and still no baby I started to panic and finally caved, went to a FS. We both have children, just not together so we don't really know what the problem is either. We've been married 7 years now. It would be nice to have at least one together.

 

[mrssunshine78]

yeah i agree unexplained is just crap, no one can give you any answers, its not that i wish there was something wrong with either of us, i just want some sort of explanation

it seems every nhs clinic has a different opinion, i think at my clinic because the guidelines say people who are unexplained need to try for 3 years before ivf, they let you have iui so that you feel that you are at least trying something. I have a friend who's clinic is about 15 miles from mine and they don't recommend iui for unexplained, but she feels like they're just waiting around and would have liked to try something different. It would be much easier if everywhere was the same!!

good luck whatever you decide

 

[cranberry987]

Hi

I just wanted to say that I totally sympathise about the depression on Clomid - Im having the same thing. Have you spoken to your Dr about it? I know hospital drs are hard to get hold of but maybe your gp can contact them? Ive just done two cycles of clomid and im stopping as my dr said if its interfering with your life and ultimately affecting your sex life then there are other options. Im going on injectables next month and altho im not crazy about it, I cant stand another month of suicidal thoughts, irrational behaviour, lack of concentration and no general interest in anything.

If it helps at all, some people have said that the depression eases with ovulation, makes sense as thats when hormone lvls start to drop, keep at it.

Depending on how I react to the injectables, I think if Im not preg in three cycles then Im going to crash diet, ruin my body with lighter life or similar and lose three more stone, then get started on IVF for September or so (will have been ttc for 21 months by then) Im getting stuck into IVF - ideally getting preg in 2011, I think it'll set me back a bit mentally if I see another year in without being preg.

Im being seen privately and I can say that things move FAST. I had an US yesterday at CD12 to see how I was reacting to the Clomid, Dr calls me today to say 100mg aint working, we discuss options, agree on injectables, appt for April 5th to start my next cycle. If this was the NHS it would be wait for the consultant to look at US, wait for them to send letter, wait months for appt to start injectables, get appt bumped at the last minute, I just couldnt cope with it. Its expensive (ie not free) but so worth it in my eyes. If someone asked me how much I would pay for a child I dont even think I could put a number on it, if you can pay then do it I say.

 

[PCOSMomToTwo]

Not sure if this information would be of any help, but wanted to throw it out there.

I was diagnosed with PCOS in 2002 through my hormone blood tests. My numbers were so messed up. BUT, here's the deal, I have ZERO symptoms of PCOS ... my weight is fine, my insulin levels are fine, I don't have any abnormal hair growth and my thyroid is perfect. Weird, right? Never, the less, my hormones are out of whack.

So here's a curve ball ... with years of fertility treatment I was able to get pregnant. We instantly try to get pregnant again (they say your more fertile after having a baby). A year passes, no pregnancy ... get my levels tested ... I was informed the are twice as worse as before. Say what?! Anyhow, we decide to layoff fertility treatment for a year ... my wallet and emotions couldn't handle it. Now fast forward to January 2011, I get my blood tested again ... It's perfect, no hormonal issues. I asked the doctor "So does that mean I don't have PCOS?" she informed me "No, you still have PCOS, but this month your hormones are normal". HUH?!

So, I guess the moral to my story is ... Your blood work can be fine and all the tests in the world can come back normal but still have something wrong. Even though my blood work is a-ok, I still don't ovulate on my own.

I am an advocate of fertility medicine in unexplained fertility. I am sure most of you heard my soap box explanation of Clomid vs. Femara. But, I spread the word because for me it was LIFE ALTERING. Femara brought new hope ... I also love injectibles, I do them myself ... it's a piece of cake! (keep in mind I HATE shots, I used to faint) BUT, now, if it means a baby ... then lets get it on! With that being said IUI seems like it has low success rates ... but, I got pregnant twice ...one time on the first shot, the second time on the second IUI. They are fairly inexpensive too.

Ok, I can ramble forever...I hope this maybe provides some hope to someone.

 

[KittyCat82]

Thank you so much ladies- I really appreciate your comments. I am ringing my NHS FS today at lunch to see if I can get some questions answered-if not I am going to try make an appointment with my GP. Hubby and I have chatted and have agreed to try clomid/naturally till at least June and then see depending on what FS tells me about waiting lists! Will keep you updated or check my journal x

 

[honeybee2]

Hi hunny!

We've been TTC (well I say trying, we've not used contraception for 2 years) and now they've just referred us to the IVF Wales clinic. I've got to be on the list for 18 months before I go to the top and they've put me on metformin until that time- as I may just fall pregnant naturally.

My OH has slow sperm, a high quantity- just slow. I have mild pcos and so they wont consider us for IUI, we'll go straight to IVF.

I dont think your being impatient, but you should prepare yourself for a long wait, assisted conception is a slow and dwindling process and its certainly not a quick fix- ye, I'm going on this list in October but I still have to wait another 2 years to be treated.

Keep your chin up hunny, things like this just take time! xx