Am I mad??

[Peril]

Hi all, just been brave enough to take a test that confirms i am 5 weeks pregnant. AM I MAD TO BE DOING THIS AGAIN???

I have had horrendous experience with pregnancies!

3 years ago i got pregnant whilst on contraceptive. Had never wanted kids, but it made me realise that i really do, I was so excited. Turns out i had a missed miscarriage (found out at 9 weeks).

September 08 I got pregnant again... Had two early scans, one to confirm heartbeat, and a second after a very tiny bleed (they wanted to reassure me), all seemed well, until the 13 week scan, when they said that the foetus was anencaphalic, and was 'not viable for living'. I had to have a termination. Week before christmas and my birthday, not fun Was put on 5mg folic acid after this.

Then October 09, you guessed it, pregnant again... all looked fine until the 16 week scan (they were scanning me regularly due to history). After blood tests and an amnio they discovered that the baby was a triplody. Again, 'Not viable for living' and had to have a termination at 17 weeks.

I was told that I was twice as likely to win lotto as have this happen.

Been to see a genetic counsellor, who states that none of these are linked in any way, nothing i am doing to cause it... I am just unlucky. She has said that i have a 98% chance of a healthy pregnancy 4th time round...

Haven't told hubby or anyone... and i am terrified... every pang, gurgle etc is sending me neurotic... obviously know it is way too early for scans or blood tests to say much of anything... am i mad to put myself thru this again???

 

[loulabump]

aww hun!

you really have been through some horrible pregnancies I can only imagine how scared you are feeling right now, the only advice I can offer is try to stay positive. I know it will be tough given your past experiences but try not to worry unless you are given something to worry about. Eat right, don't strain yourself and just try and take it easy!

xx

 

[pinkgem100]

aww chick, i would be exactly the same. whe i fell pregnant with Harry i had not wanted kids, i had just had a knee op so had to come off contraceptive pill and then found out i was pregnant, was terified but with in about 1 hour of knowing was so excited at the thought of becoming a mummy, i then lost harry mmc found out at 20 week scan. i was (and still am) terrified when i found out i was pregnant again, so i dont know how u must be feeling. i dont know about the problems that you had with your little angels i just wanted to say if i was you i would be going mad aswell.

I hope you are looked after and also that you get the baby at the end and you enjoy a healthy and happy pregnancy xx

 

[Peril]

Thank you both... I don't know how to feel... all i know is the overriding feeling is fear...

I appreciate the kind words and support xxxx

 

[Beanbabe]

I dont think you are mad - I think you are just an amazing woman who has had amazing bad luck. This pregnancy will be consumed with fear but imagine if in nine months you are holding your baby. All that fear will be worth it. The total gripping fear you feel at first does subside into a more managable anxiety. Some days you will actually feel positive.

98% chance of having a healthy pregnancy is really good odds. Set yourself small milestones to get too. First scan, twelve weeks etc. It makes it so much easier rather than thinking I have to get to 40 weeks.

I think you shoud tell your oh. I know you are scared but you need support and someone to help you.

I hope you get the care you need. Lots and lots of luck and