Am I NTNP, TTC, or just being dishonest?

[Lyra]

Head's in a bit of a mess recently and I wanted to write it all down and see if anything makes more sense that way because I'm not sure what to think!

I stopped taking cerazette in Feb after hubby agreed we could start trying for a kid, but he wanted to wait until we saw his consultant as he has a genetic disorder and wanted to check the implications.

We saw the consultant, had a proper think, we're going to still conceive naturally as we have a 75% chance of having a healthy child and are prepared that there will be a chance of having to deal with medical problems or disabilities.

Then I went back to work after being on long term sick with stress for 6 months. My pay has been cut dramatically. We own our own home and don't have any significant debts, but it is a struggle to make ends meet. However, I am training to start my own business alongside work, and giving up smoking makes us much better off! But, OH is understandably anxious about money, worried we won't be able to provide everything we want to, and that there are things we could get done first - like a new floor, kitchen appliances etc.

So here we are NTNP, when my head was at full blown TTC a few weeks ago! I also had blood tests done at the GP a while ago as I had ovarian cysts as a teen and no period for 8 years. Tests all came back normal and I had a fantastically normal 4 day period last week! So now I feel more anxious, because it's like my body is ready to go!

I have been honest with OH by making sure he is fully aware that I am off the pill, that I have got a chance of getting pregnant, educating him about my fertile days and updating him on my charts! We've agreed not to have sex on the most fertile days but it's down to me to tell him when they are. It has crossed my mind to fudge the dates but I don't think I could do that!

I really, really want a BFP. We've been dtd SO MUCH more often in the last few weeks, which I am sure is due to taking Royal Jelly as I just didn't want to before! I know my OH is using common sense, but he has said that if an 'accident' happens he'd be happy with it and trusts me since I have been making sure to keep track of my cycle. I'm 27 next month - he's 30, and we've been together 9 years and are in a much better position to raise kids than so many parents I know, so I can't wait!

How do you 'relax' into NTNP, as I am really having a hard time with this middle ground. I won't go back on hormonal BC, probably ever. I just have an overwhelming need to be a mum and it could take years to conceive! But then again as OH is firmly on the 'not trying' part I would feel super guilty for him if I did fall pregnant before he agreed to full on ttc.

Sorry for the length of this, and I don't know really what advice I'm looking for but I am hoping there might be some in the same boat as me!

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

I'm not sure I would be able to NTNP if I had TTC in the past and knew when would be best to DTD etc, I would not be able to relax into just seeing what happens.

We're just seeing what happens, but I have NO idea about what might be my fertile days, if I knew them I think we'd either be TTC or not at all!

I wouldn't fudge the dates, I think the only thing to do is to talk to your OH again about how you feel and have a re think about actually TTC, does he know how strongly you feel?

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

Oh and I wouldn't say you were even NTNP - if you're not DTD on fertile days then you're preventing to some degree, obviously less reliably than using actual contraception.

 

[MackMomma8]

First of all, you are not being dishonest with your OH or yourself or anyone else.

That being said, I have a suggestion for you - why not stop charting? Not completely - I would keep track of the days - but no temping or OPKs or anything like that. How can you be trying when you technically don't know when your most fertile days are? You have an idea of when they are... but not 100%. IMO, an 'accident' might just happen more, um, easily that way.

(Please take that with a grain of salt and more than a little cheek. I mean the advice, but I'm in a mood today too )

 

[Lyra]

Thank you Feeling a bit more at peace with the situation now, I am just raring to go and want to be pregnant yesterday! We'll see what happens...but I know now it's impossible for me not to know when I'm technically fertile, can't pretend not to!

 

[GirlRacer]

Yeah I agree with MackMomma, if you stopped charting then you might well have a rough idea as to when your most fertile days are but that way you'd just be going by your own body symptoms so I suppose the chance of knowing when you're ovulating isn't as high. NTNP is hard though because even though you're supposedly 'not trying' as you would be when TTC its still on your mind all the time if you're having unprotected sex then your period doesn't arrive or is late or you're getting symptoms that can make you feel pregnant.
Its good that you can talk to your husband about it though and I hope you get it worked out soon hun xx