Am i really ready?

[stupidname]

Hello everyone, i am totally new to this and just wanted to say hi. I would also like to apologise for the stupid name and ask a question.
Me and my boyfriend are WTT and i get so excited when we talk about it but then i think if i actually found out i was pregnant now i would be so terrified. Am i ready or am i going through a wanting a baby phase?
Any suggestions, help would be appreciated.
Thanks

 

[Mya209]

You're like me. One second I think I'm ready and can't wait anymore, and then when I think of it actually happening I want to hide! I'm not sure you loose that fear until you start on the road and can't turn back. It's like taking a first step into an unknown world, the first steps the hardest and it gets easier after that.. (emotionally I mean)

 

[Amygdala]

No-one can tell you whether you're ready apart from yourself. But maybe if you tell us a bit more about your situation we can ask you the right questions to help you find the answer. For example: how long have you been with OH? Are you in a stable, happy relationship? Do you see yourself staying with him? Then: Are you financially stable? Have you finished your education? And if not, is having a baby going to make it much more difficult? ...

 

[lovehearts]

I dream of the day i find out im pregnant, i cant wait! but there is still something inside me that is scared of the unknown and like Mya209 said i dont think you will overcome that fear until you are actually there. There are so many ifs and buts whilst waiting. Good luck xx

 

[stupidname]

Hi, I have been with my OH for nearly 5 years and we bought a house together 2.5 years ago. We are in a happy relationship, i mean we do have the odd disagreement but who doesn't. and yes i can see us staying together. My education is done, i have just finished a basic accounting course (AAT). We are not on fantastic money but i dont think we would be struggle. We both have very supportive families that live close by (within 10miles), so neither of us would be without help if we needed it (e.g babysitting, freaking out because the nappy keeps falling off!!) Most of my friends have children too, so they would be there to offer support and horror stories about kids!!

 

[TinyBoots]

Hi Honey!

I'm in exactly the same position! I would give anything for a baby right now, but if i actually DID get pregnant, the thought fills me with fear!!

It's only because it's a life changing situation, you're creating a new life, you then have to look after that life... It's a lot of pressure, and because you've never done it before, it's scary!

All that will change when you have your baby in front of you, maternal instinct will kick in xx

 

[Amygdala]

Hi, I have been with my OH for nearly 5 years and we bought a house together 2.5 years ago. We are in a happy relationship, i mean we do have the odd disagreement but who doesn't. and yes i can see us staying together. My education is done, i have just finished a basic accounting course (AAT). We are not on fantastic money but i dont think we would be struggle. We both have very supportive families that live close by (within 10miles), so neither of us would be without help if we needed it (e.g babysitting, freaking out because the nappy keeps falling off!!) Most of my friends have children too, so they would be there to offer support and horror stories about kids!!

Hm, it doesn't sound like you're worried about your circumstances or not having achieved something you wanted to do first. Have you just recently decided on ttc soon? I think some fear is normal in the beginning but for most people it goes away. But I think deep down you seem to know that you're ready and there's nothing to worry about. You'll be fine!

 

[stupidname]

We have talked about having kids before but we really wernt ready then, i didnt even want to think about trying and thinking about having kids in my life just seemed wrong even though ive always wanted them, from when i was little i knew i wanted kids. Its just the past 6ish months ive really started to think kids are right for us and we started talking about it again and it made sense, if you get me! I just dont want to rush things through and then find out too late that it was a phase. I think the thing that scares me most is knowing ive got this tiny life depending on me to be able to take care of it and i have absolutley no idea what im doing.

 

[TinyBoots]

We have talked about having kids before but we really wernt ready then, i didnt even want to think about trying and thinking about having kids in my life just seemed wrong even though ive always wanted them, from when i was little i knew i wanted kids. Its just the past 6ish months ive really started to think kids are right for us and we started talking about it again and it made sense, if you get me! I just dont want to rush things through and then find out too late that it was a phase. I think the thing that scares me most is knowing ive got this tiny life depending on me to be able to take care of it and i have absolutley no idea what im doing.

I'm sure all first time mothers feel this way! My sister was exactly the same, panicked so much before, and during pregnancy... As soon as she gave birth, she became a fantastic mother

 

[HollySSmith]

lol. Sweetie I'm pregnant and I still question about whether or not I'm ready
I just keep telling myself that everything will fall into place when the baby is born! My dad always said that there is never a perfect time to have a child and I couldn't agree more! I'm sure you'll be a fantastic mom when the time comes!

 

[plutosblue]

You are not alone hun, I have been the one slamming the breaks on for WTT with my DF.

Financially we are stable although maybe we could do with clearing a few small things we have on finance, and now we are getting married in September, one day I will be like "Okay, ready!" and another I have such cold feet thinking about marriage and babies and being tied down I psyche myself out.

Honestly, until you see that BFP I think you will always have your doubts and worries, but you just get on with it in the end I think. Like HollyS has said, there is never a right time but things will all fall into place eventually!

 

[Ganton]

I'm so pleased to see that it's not just me that feels like this. There is no particular reason why DH and I should be worried about having a baby soon and we've been talking about TTC in early 2010 for some time now...but I was so worried that I may actually have been pregnant when I had a 'scare' a couple of months back. I just didn't feel prepared in any way.

Like the other girls have said though, things always seem scary before they happen. It's probably good to really question if you're ready, but I also don't think they'll ever be a 'perfect' time.

I'm still undecided when we're going to go ahead this year.

 

[kittylady]

Don't feel pressurized if you feel you aren't ready, go with the flow and start when you feel like you want to ^^

 

[GirlBlue]

So funny, I was just thinking about digging up my journal to write about this. I had a scare this past month which ended today. Had all the major symptoms, serious boob pain, implantation bleed, cm, nausea, vomiting...looks like it was food poisoning b/c af surely came today. whole time I kept thinking I wasn't ready, so many things I wanted to do still, but fear passed and I came up with a plan, then AF came...devastating...anyway, pt is....i think we have fear b/c we have options. When its no longer a luxury we'll move fwd and once we see those little faces never regret it.

 

[minnie10]

im the same one minute im broody and want one then the next i dont think im ready, the idea of preganancy scares me too i think whats also stoping me is im scared of been a bad mum and doing it wrong!!

 

[Baby Love]

I think I was in that 'wanting a baby' phase for a long time before I suddenly woke up one day and I realised it wasn't just a phase anymore - that I actually felt ready, not just to carry a baby but to be a mom too (I sometimes imagine myself in a situation say with a toddler and picture how I would act in such a situation; I no longer get scared when I think about the 'bad' parts of parenthood)...

 

[Naturalmystic]

I get scared too at times, one minute I think I am ready and the next I get scared. I think no matter how ready you think you are you will have moments when you get a little scared. A friend of mine was trying for a baby for a year and when she got the BFP she freaked out for a couple seconds. lol