Am I still a breastfeeding mum? Feel like a fraud!

[victoria1987]

My DS is five weeks old and we have had a very challenging BF relationship from the start. He is tongue and lip tied (although not severely) and we have had difficulty with latching and supply. The first few weeks of BF were truly horrible, I was in agony every time I nursed to the point of needing to use labour breathing the whole time and resulting in perpetually bleeding and blistered nipples. I fought through it and received all the community help that I could get as I was determined to make BF work for us. I had daily in home MW visits to help and had a lactation consultant come to my home several times. I ended up supplementing with formula and pumping to give myself a break from the pain and was giving every couple of feedings from a bottle with either formula or expressed milk.

Eventually around 4 weeks with a lot of support, hard work and determination things improved and I realised that it was no longer terribly painful and my nipples were healing, I even started to enjoy it! The problem was then that my supply seems to be permanently damaged as he cannot seem to get enough from EBF. I have done everything advised (I allow him to nurse on demand and empty both breasts and have been taking fenugreek religiously for the past few weeks). I does not help that he is a little oinker lol but he is sometimes still hungry (particularly in the evenings) after drinking all the milk I have.

So I have continued to supplement with formula mostly in the evenings when he is most hungry. I am OK with this although I would prefer to EFB. He is getting the majority of his nutrition from BM and I am at a place where I have accepted that giving a few oz of formula per day is not a failure on my part and is working for our family. I did feel horrendously guilty for a while about this but have mostly made peace with it. I will continue to try to boost my supply and still hold out hope that one day we will be able to EBF.

My question is, am I a breastfeeding mum? I feel like I fraud if I tell people I am nursing him and feel the need to mention that I give bottles sometimes too. I have avoided even getting a one month BF blinkie because I feel like it would be dishonest even though I am SO proud that we pushed through all the struggles at the beginning and am still nursing him. I really doubted that I would ever make it this far and I feel a great sense of accomplishment... but it is still somehow marred by those few bottles he gets every night. Thoughts?

 

[whattoexpect]

Ah hun, I say go for the blinky you don't need to offer any explanation to anyone. You have stuck through where a lot of others haven't. I went to formula after 10 days of agony.

Good on you momma. Keep up the good work and fingers crossed your supply amps up for the little guy!

 

[CandyDay]

You are still a breastfeeding mom. Lots of people give their BF LO's a bottle when they need or want to. That doesn't mean they aren't a BFing mom. BFing mom's still go out sometimes on their own and they leave a bottle for their LO in case they get hungry when they are out. Some do a bottle every day so that their partners can feed their LO. They are still BFing and it is not marred by the occasional bottle.
You have struggled and pushed through all the pain and have not given up. Lots of people would have given up but you didn't. I think that definitely makes you a breastfeeding mom.
You are doing what is best for you and your LO and that is what is important. You are a breastfeeding mother.
You can tell people you are nursing and you don't have to feel guilty about saying it. As it is true.

 

[Maxy1]

Totally still a BFing mom.

I combi fed my LO for 7 weeks and at one point 95% of his nutrition was from formula because I was so sick, but I still made the effort and we got back to EBF. At no time did I think I wasn't a BFing mom.

you sound like you are doing an amazing job!! At the other end of Bfing if you keep going your LO will be eating food AND BFing and you will still be a BFing mom.

 

[Sarah lo]

Your baby drinks breast milk, you're a breastfeeding mum.

It makes absolutely no difference if you give a bottle every day, as long as your still lactating you're entitled to that blinkie, you've worked hard for it!

 

[pineapple91]

i agree with other pp you are a breastfeeding mom and have every right to claim it with pride

 

[BigAl]

Definitely bfing mum. Most people I know gave formula in the evenings anyway, without supply issues. They went to bed early leaving oh to do a feed, or in the desperate hope ff would help them sleep longer.

You are doing a great job.

 

[minties]

No doubt about it! You are a breastfeeding mum.

Be proud, you have been through a lot to get this far.

 

[Mrs Bee]

Get that blinky with pride.... You have been through a lot and are still going good on you......definitely a breastfeeding Mum

 

[AP]

Of course you are

 

[Bevziibubble]

Yes, of course you are! Get that blinkie and be proud of it. You have been through so much!

 

[superfrizbee]

Def a BFing mama and you've earned that blinkie.

 

[Mannie89]

Definitely!! I am a full time working mother who breastfeeds whenever I am with my son... but I also pump my milk for him to have in bottles during the day when I'm at work. As pp said, if your LO takes breast milk, you are a breastfeeding momma!

 

[Zeri]

You poor thing! Well done for getting this far even through all that pain- when so many of us would've given up! With my DD I always considered myself a bf mom- even when I combi-fed her at 4 mths and up to when I weaned her at 16 mths. Once your baby is getting breast milk you are va breastfeeding mom!

 

[Mushymilkfor2]

I know exactly how you feel! Before my most recent meeting with a lactation consultant I started pumping and supplementing with my own breast milk, because I was tired of him nursing on me so much. When I told the lactation consultant I felt soo guilty that I caved and gave a bottle, even with my own milk. But, then she reassured me that as long as baby is fed and happy and I'm still breastfeeding as his primary source of nutrition then everything is good.

You're doing great, getting through the beginning is the hardest part and you got through it! And like others said, if you're still nursing in any way at all, you're still worthy and able to say you breastfeed without any shame!

 

[noon_child]

Statistically , if you included every Mum who occasionally or regularly or even just once used bottles to supplement, then I think there'd be nearly zero breastfeeding Mums out there! I know that some Mums have no problems, and commit themselves to not using bottles at all ever, but each Mum makes their choices based on doing the right thing for their child - and that makes us great Mums.

If you aren't a breastfeeding Mum then I wasn't either, and if someone told me I wasn't a breastfeeding Mum I'd knock their block off. Breastfeeding continues past weaning on to solids and isn't any less breastfeeding because of the intro of food, so it isn't less breastfeeding because of a few supplements on the bottle.

YOU ARE A BREASTFEEDING MUM!