am I too young to have a baby?

[Mindy_mini]

I don't think age is necessarily relevant but if I'm honest I don't think you're in the best situation at the moment. Living at your parents would be very cramped and hard for everyone involved. Also, finishing studying with a baby isn't easy. Plus babies cost a lot of money and I'm guessing you're not bringing in a huge income between you.

It's your decision but if it were me I'd wait. Also, weddings and houses are expensive and if you want both, I'd say get them out of the way before having a baby or you may find one or both has to be abandoned to allow you to afford a baby.

 

[jayne1991]

Hi I appreciate your opinion I really do, however my mu doesn't mind us having a baby and her house currently has 2 spare bedrooms of which one could easily be turned into a nursey we also have a baby fund set up and my dad is paying for my wedding and he has also said that he will help us pay for a deposit on a house and we would have to pay him back. I have made sure that every aspect has been looked into before deciding to have a baby, but I do know where you are coming from and understand your concern, thanks xx

 

[littlefishygg]

I would say age has very little to do with it, it is how ready you are in my opinion. And as much as sensibility says we should all wait until we are financially completely secure etc, I kinda think you have what you have, make the most of it. I am 20 and TTC (well technically NTNP) and we are both still studying but we both want to have children young and we both feel now is the right time. It is up to you and your situation really.

 

[darkstar]

I think it depends on maturity levels a lot. I was having my second child at 23. The marriage didn't last unfortunately but I don't regret starting young with having children at all.

 

[Zeri]

I haven't read all the responses, but it sounds like the younger moms are the ones saying you're not too young...lol, which is to be expected.

What's the rush, though? 20 is a bit young to me. It sounds like you're making good strides in your life, but why not wait until you get a job first? You said that both you and your fiance are studying. To me, it would be best to secure a job first before getting pregnant, so that you know you can handle your finances independently. Babies take quite a bit of money. If you're saving for a house next year, I might wait till that's done as well.

I don't think 21 is necessarily too young if you happen to get pregnant by accident...but I wouldn't necessarily go out of my way to get pregnant at that age, when there other important things to be covered first, like job/house etc.

 

[JennJennG]

I don't think it is always about age. It is different for everyone. Some people are ready as a young adult, others wait until they are in their 30's. Personally I am 27 and just now TTC. the reason I waited was because I wanted to do all the things I wanted to do before adding a bundle of joy into the mix. My husband and I finished school and started a successful business, traveled, bought a house, had a beautiful wedding and now are in a place where I am 1000% sure adding a baby is what we at ready for. We are in a place where there wont be any additional stress or worries and we can just enjoy TTC, pregnancy and the baby. I would say that for one if your doubting you should wait until those feelings go away. And if you really want to finish school and buy a house maybe do that first too. Get yourself to a place where you feel totally certain that you could enjoy bringing a baby into. If you are going to be living with your mom you should probably talk to her about it too. It's her house, does she want a baby there? I guess all I am saying is don't rush it. You are very young. You have lots of life ahead of you and although you can't wait for things to be perfect it doesn't hurt to wait until you are sure that you feel ready and that your life is in a place that is a postive place to bring a baby into. I wish you all the best. Xo

 

[thefirstbaby]

i was engaged and 19 with my first, so i was young. I am now considering a second and i am now 20. so i think age isnt a problem. just make sure your relationship is stable first..and that a baby is a mutual agreement.

 

[Daisy_bear]

I have got my house, I am a teacher and people are still critical because I am not married. I have decided that I don't care what others think and I will do what's right for my partner and I. I have recently mc and we are going to wait for a bit to let my body get back to normal before we stop using contraception. This is not supposed to sound patronising so please don't take it like that, remember no contraception means you are trying for a baby and by then it's to late to ask the question "am I ready". I am saying that because My partner and I were not trying but we didn't use protection and that's when I fell pregnant. We were very happy and really upset that it didn't last but looking back we should have just been open about saying we were trying. Be sure about what u want before throwing away the condoms

 

[TaraxSophia]

I was 16 when i had Sophia, i felt too young then (nt planned) as i had to finish college and all that, but now im 18 and it feels right to be having another! People are still shocked to hear that little man isnt my first, but it is about whether you are emotionally and financially ready i guess I'd say you are hun

 

[kittycat18]

I doesn't really matter what age you are. I don't agree with anyone TTC under 18 because you aren't legally an adult before then. After that... I don't care what you do. At the end of the day it is your life and only you know best. I am 19 and I have a little girl. She was unplanned but loved very much. Me and OH live together, we are both in full-time education, we both work (he works a paid placement and I work night shifts), I run a shop on Facebook and we have all the time in the world for our daughter.

We find it relatively easy. We love being parents and parenting really isn't expensive because babies do not need overly fancy, expensive things!

 

[stephaniexx]

I'm 20 and I have 2 kids, WTT number 3 soonish (I hope lol). I read through the posts and I think as long as you have the room, the time, the money to support the child and if you feel you're mature enough to have a baby depending on you 24/7, because it's bloody hard work, then go for it. Just remember its very hard and a lifelong commitment.

I was in your situation and it was hard living with parents, I think you definately need your own space with a child (but that's just me) so me and OH have our own home now. And I didin't finish college because I fell very poorly during my first pregnancy and now I have NO time to go back, so you would definately do better if you waited until college is over

 

[vicky n bump]

no your not to young i was 17 when i had my first and i thought i was to young but when i had him it was the best ting i have ever done and now im 21 will be 22 when babys born i love being a young mum x

 

[Serenitys_mom]

I don't think your too young. I was 18 when I got pregnant and 19 when I gave birth. I'll be 20 this September and my fiance will be 20 next month. If you're in college and if you're financially capable to take a care of a baby then go for it.

 

[Rosie.no1]

As others have said, I don't think it's about age necessarily, however there are a lot of benefits to getting settled first before you go ahead and start a family. You have loads of time to have a baby. Getting ahead and finishing your studies, starting a career, getting married (fab honeymoon) etc, are all exciting things, then you can complete it with a little baby when you've really enjoyed each other.

People say it's hard work having a kid, and it really is.. You might have your parents to help out, which is great, but trust me.. Having a kid puts a big strain on your relationship in my opinion. You need to male sure that your partner is aware as well that once the baby comes along, it's a massive commitment.. Time to yourself goes out the window.. Sleepless nights etc...

Don't get me wrong, it's wonderful, but if I was you, I'd get the course finished and wedding done at least.. Enjoy each other and growing together until you know you're both totally ready.

Wishing you all the best xoxo

 

[Nikie]

Hello - I can just reiterate what others have said.....depends on the person and not the age!

I am 29 (30 in November) and OH is 33 and we are only just ready now! Gosh, when I was 21 I was at university and starting a family was last thing on my mind. My 30 year old sister has 3 children and my 28 year old sister (Yes mum had three of us VERY close in age!!) also has 3 children.

I have been with my fiance for 10 years. We have just bought a house together in Surrey. We have had AMAZING holidays. We were not ready for a baby until now because we wanted to do all the selfish things and not feel guilty for spending £500 on a pair of shoes if we wanted (me, not him!).

I feel confident that we've had a 'selfish' 10 years of enjoying each other and we are ready to take the next step!

If I had a child at 21 I don't think I would have regretted it (can you regret having a child?) -but in the same respect, I don't regret the last 10 years without one. And I think that's proof enough that I was not ready until now!!

 

[Rosie.no1]

Nikie, totally with you.. Couldn't have put it better myself.

I have friends that had babies at 20, 21.. And whilst of course they would never regret having their children, while they were changing nappies, I was out partying, and enjoying my youth.. Then I did the whole settling down, bought a house, got married, had amazing holidays.. Hubby and I set up a business.. Then had a little one, and trying for number 2.

I'm 28, I understand when you meet 'the one' as I did.. Met my DH at 20, even if you know you are going to be with them forever.. There's no rush at that age. Just enjoy each other, like you say Nikie, enjoy the freedom and then move onto the kids. They're the biggest commitment you'll ever make in your life. After you have a child everything changes.. You need to make sure you're ready no matter what age you are x

 

[Roembke88]

Honestly I dont think you are too young. Do what you feel comfortable with. If you beleive you can do it, then go ahead. But if you have the slightest doubt I would wait. Good luck to you

 

[FeLynn]

Honestly each person is different, it depends on how mature you are and how you deal with things that come with being a mother. I was pregnant at 17 and grew up fast, I wasn't like all the other young mothers to be! I have 3 kids and I'm expecting baby number 4. I look younger then my age so many assume I'm really young.