and the IUI midwife said....

[Redclaire]

so here i am in my second iui cycle and feeling shite!! very down in the mouth all together!
i was at the unit on friday, 2 nice follicles 9 and 11 mm each but a really mean midwife...and a bit rough with the internal scan.
So i reckon to myself..she won't sugar -coat answers!
And so i asked her, 'nurse to nurse, no bull shite-have you seen iui work often??'
She doesn't beat around the bush (no pun i swear considering what she was doing at the time!!) and she said 'honestly not much, it has a very low sucess rate'
so i said 'ok , we have no issues, all in working tiptop order, does that make a difference to sucess rates?'
She said 'nope, ivf works...about 45% success rate here' So she tells me with my age 36and a half to waste no more time than 3 times of iui and move on the ivf. So i thanked her for her honesty.
I've been very down since. I really thought iui would be all we needed, i think i just feel defeated!
I went today sunday for tracking scan and only one follical at 17mm now...now they like that, i really wanted 2 to increase the odds of one (or Both) fertilising!!! I'm back in the morning , mon, for another scan, they wont order the trigger shot till folli is at least 18.5mm, so it looks like iui on wed i'd say.
We had a big talk myself and himself and i think after this cycle we had already said we would take july off iui cos we're going on hols, and we have more or less decided now that instead of another iui in sugust we will move on to ivf
But i'm very emotional and upset about it all now

 

[dachsundmom]

 

[Macwooly]

 

[purplelou]

Ill be honest - I know nothing about the success rates involved, but even if it were only 1% successful, YOU could be the one it works for. I really really hope you are!!

 

[Redclaire]

Ill be honest - I know nothing about the success rates involved, but even if it were only 1% successful, YOU could be the one it works for. I really really hope you are!!

Ah thanks hun! rates at about 6-20%, but real average is 12-15%! a bit crappie i know, but that's what the other midwives say (and himself!)..it only takes one egg and one sperm and all that...
I think i'm just not in the mood for pointless optimism anymore, i'm tired of TTC! its a year now with my OH, plus 18months TTC 5 years ago with my now ex-hubby (he had 1%sperm, and was delighted about it..nuff said! hence the 'ex')
I just want a baby..i feel my whole life is on hold

 

[dachsundmom]

Ill be honest - I know nothing about the success rates involved, but even if it were only 1% successful, YOU could be the one it works for. I really really hope you are!!

Ah thanks hun! rates at about 6-20%, but real average is 12-15%! a bit crappie i know, but that's what the other midwives say (and himself!)..it only takes one egg and one sperm and all that...
I think i'm just not in the mood for pointless optimism anymore, i'm tired of TTC! its a year now with my OH, plus 18months TTC 5 years ago with my now ex-hubby (he had 1%sperm, and was delighted about it..nuff said! hence the 'ex')
I just want a baby..i feel my whole life is on hold

I am so sorry you are feeling down! I have often wondered if I should give IUI a try, or if I should just spend the money and head straight to IVF?! It is all so confusing, and like you, I am also at a point where some of the "pointless optimism" is frustrating...

On the other hand, if it weren't for the optimism that others here inspired me to find, I would have probably stuck my head in a blender by now, lol. So, I know that right now it might feel as if I am saying blah, blah, blah... (fill in the blank with whatever you like), but I truly believe that each and everyone of us here will get our BFP, in whatever manner we were supposed to! Some might get in naturally, some might need assistance, and some might choose to adopt...a BFP, is a BFP, and your time will come too!

 

[Natsby]

Aw Hun I feel for you! You must be feeling rotten. I know what you mean about mindless optimism I never think I´m going to get a bfp anymore, but they do happen, just look at the sticky BFP thread, and it could be you. I don´t believe so many people would try iui if it didn´t work at all, and some of the statistics will be because people are trying it who have major fertility problems, you say your all in working order so don´t get down just yet. It might not work this cycle or it might, try to stay in an open frame of mind so you avoid the stress of feeling down and give your body the best chance of it working. The midwife doesn´t want to get your hopes up but you are realistic already so now you just have to hang on in there, it will happen.
big hugs and good luck,let us know how you get on.

 

[NorthStar]

Hmm, well I don't know that asking the nastiest meanest person in the place was necessarily going to give you a good outcome.

Since I jioned this forum I've heard lots of people getting their BFP through IUI so it must work at least SOME of the time, and as the others have said maybe you will be that person, FX.

If not, at least you have Plan B ie you know that you can go straight to IVF in August, but IUI is probably worth a shot first, as it is probably less intrusive than IVF?

Anyway sorry you're feeling crap it's not an easy road so give yourself some slack to feel crap if you need to.

 

[Indigo77]

Sorry Claire....
Good that you're taking a bit of a break to regroup and that you decided to go for IVF... with such a higher success rate...u may have that BFP sooner than you think...

 

[sarahincanada]

awww you poor thing

but how about looking at it this way: with IVF success rates you are very likely to get a BFP this year

also dont be mad at IUI: be mad at conceiving a baby in general. think about it, the general healthy young public only have a 25% chance of concieving per month. thats pretty low! our age we have dropped to about 15%. I do believe IUI makes it more likely for you to get a bfp than trying naturally, if you think about it people going for IUI are having problems and being monitored and thats where they get their stats. But think about the general population having unprotected sex, Im sure the BFP rate is much lower, but we just dont get to monitor the stats. So regardless of her opinion dont give up hope totally, but its good for you to plan for the next step.

Ive heard of IUI working for many people, and you dont have loads of problems so I think its just a matter of time. Obviously we cant spend years doing IUI so we hope it comes sooner than later, and if we cant wait then move onto something even more likely. Im right behind you Redclaire, going to do IVF in the new year if nothing else works.

Repeat after me: I WILL get my BFP this year!

 

[PCOSMomToTwo]

I can tell you I have had a total of 3 IUI's in my life ... 2 of them resulted in pregnancy!!!

A little background: We TTC#1 for 6 years ... 1st IUI was done with just Femara & Ovidrel and equaled a BFN. Then 2nd IUI was done with Femara, Follistim and Ovidrel and equaled BFP and my daughter was born 10/2008

TTC#2 for 2 years, our 1st IUI since my daughter was born BFP! Unfortunately, ended in miscarriage.

Please do not let the statistics scare OR discourage you. If it wasn't for IUI's we wouldn't be parents!

Good luck girl!!!

OH I FORGOT TO ADD ... my hubby had low sperm count too!!!

 

[Cui]

I'm a couple of years older than you and heading into IUI#5.
One thing, is that I think my IUI's #2&3 were timed all wrong. I think they were too late, but it still makes me feel like a failure.

I made a stink with #4 when I felt they were timing it too late again and I was only getting one done instead of back to back. I'm seeing the Dr. this Tuesday as I want to have Back to back IUI's from now on like I did the first cycle.

In my mind that is the most effective way to do it and I don't know why they didn't do it for 2&3. It supposedly raises your success rates only a tiny bit, but a tiny bit is better than nothing, so maybe look into B2B IUI's.

My Dr. suggested 6 unmedicated IUI's and then probably move on to medicated IUI's.
My insurance covers unlimited IUI but not IVF. I keep wondering what the most # of IUI's a clinic will do before they won't let you do any more?

 

[readyformore]

so here i am in my second iui cycle and feeling shite!! very down in the mouth all together!
i was at the unit on friday, 2 nice follicles 9 and 11 mm each but a really mean midwife...and a bit rough with the internal scan.
So i reckon to myself..she won't sugar -coat answers!
And so i asked her, 'nurse to nurse, no bull shite-have you seen iui work often??'
She doesn't beat around the bush (no pun i swear considering what she was doing at the time!!) and she said 'honestly not much, it has a very low sucess rate'
so i said 'ok , we have no issues, all in working tiptop order, does that make a difference to sucess rates?'
She said 'nope, ivf works...about 45% success rate here' So she tells me with my age 36and a half to waste no more time than 3 times of iui and move on the ivf. So i thanked her for her honesty.
I've been very down since. I really thought iui would be all we needed, i think i just feel defeated!
I went today sunday for tracking scan and only one follical at 17mm now...now they like that, i really wanted 2 to increase the odds of one (or Both) fertilising!!! I'm back in the morning , mon, for another scan, they wont order the trigger shot till folli is at least 18.5mm, so it looks like iui on wed i'd say.
We had a big talk myself and himself and i think after this cycle we had already said we would take july off iui cos we're going on hols, and we have more or less decided now that instead of another iui in sugust we will move on to ivf
But i'm very emotional and upset about it all now

Sorry you had such a bad experience. My RE had this conversation with us prior to starting IUI. I was shocked to find out that IUI has basically the same success rate as natural pregnancy.

I conceived on my 4th IUI, but I was 25 at the time. I had been ttc for 19 months, which is unusual for a woman in her mid-twenties anyway.

Keep your chin up friend. It can happen. And if it doesn't, move on to IVF. I like those odds better anyway. 45% sounds like a baby to me!!!

 

[Lyvid]

Awww sorry the nurse was so crappy Honestly, I think sometimes people need to remember who their audience is and learn to be a bit more gentle.

DH and I were discussing this the other night as I had just read that IUI had the same % success as natural (at my age 15%) but as he pointed out the women seeking IUI are the ones who are not getting their BFP naturally. So it's like taking a 0% population and getting a BFP for 15% of them. Made me feel better for a bit. Just wish I had my DH's eternal optimism!

I really hope that this next cycle will be the one for you Redclaire! FX'd and

 

[future_numan]

I was told that IUI had a %10 success rate because I had only one tube combined with DH low mobilty.
We conceived Emily with only two attemps with IUI.. so any % is hope !!

 

[Natsby]

I know it is good to have a plan...but I hope you don´t need it! Babydust and free babies all round!
You will get your BFP this year!!!

 

[monalisa81]

My doctor told me that we'll have 40% chance with IUI and 60% with IVF.
With natural intercourse you have a 25% chance, so IUI is higher anyway.
good luck hun

 

[Redclaire]

Hi Ladies!!
Thanks you all soooo much for all the encouragement, i might not have posted cos i was a bit down but now i'm in the zone again and its thanks to all your kind words and virtual hugs!!
So i'm off for my second iui in the morning, had my trigger last night at midnight, hadan opk + at 7pm tonight so i think the timing is bang on except would really really love to but the unit says abstain for 36hours at least so as to produce a good SA for washing in the morn. Not that i'm saying i'm its more that i'd like more there!!
Ooh and another reason i'm a bit more upbeat...scan on mon morning...2 follicles one 19mm and one 17..(slightly under mature but the nurse, a nice one! reckoned it would probably be mature before iui on wed!!!)
God i hope this works!! tho i also signed up for the pre ivf meeting 11th july!

 

[Macwooly]

Glad to hear you are feeling more positive and heading into your 2nd IUI

Keeping FXed that this is the one

 

[lexus15]

Gd luck this month, chin up & remain positive + don't take on what horrid insensitvie people say.