With my first I was instage of labour for a week, hardly slept any and my water broke the contractions started and in that time I was sent home 3 times saying they hadn't so I went home and they got more intense and my hubby called the hospital but I refused to go in to be sent home, midwife laughed said take a bath if it helps stay home if not come in. Well it didn't help and I was finally taken in to be told they actually had broken and I had gone all that time with risk of infection they have me meds to speed things along and I had pain relief and I basically passed out I woke up hours later hoping to feel refreshed and I didn't, I had more pain relief and passed out when it came to pushing I was weak and they told me to push when my body didn't so on the end I was always pushing and in the end when I had my daughter I ended up bursting something in mys ears and I was left with feeling ill, dizzy, loud ringing in my ears and my balance was off and I was still exhausted and I already felt like a bad mom because when she was born I held her got up so they could clean the bed ad I passed out for hours and I'm scared to feel like that again that I am getting panic attacks just thinking about it. I don't want the experience of being with my baby ruined , I couldn't even hold her because I was terrified of dropping her I felt disorientated.
So scared
So scared
