Anxiety/Depression support thread

[BabyKiwi]

My name is Hannah, and I suffer from Anxiety Disorder and Depression (as well as other things).

I find it affects my life in a very negative way, I don't feel confident to go out with my son in case something happens, I don't like to invite people over unless the house is spotless and sometimes I feel so overwhelmed by everything that I spend my day feeding and changing my son in my night clothes and lying in bed crying.

I've developed some things to help myself like going to therapy, finding some things that I enjoy and creating some routines.

I know I can't be the only one out there dealing with these things, and so I'd like to start the ball rolling and begin a thread where we can support each other as we deal with what can be really crippling conditions that are often misunderstood by others.


So make yourself a cuppa (or pour yourself a glass of wine) tell your story and share tips about how you cope.

 

[socitycourty]

Good thread!

I suffer from panic disorder and depression. I have had a bad relapse since October 2012.

I also have OCD so I have a very hard time with germs and things being out of order. I have health anxiety so am constantly worried about getting sick or something happening to me.

It really is hard to cope. My LO doesn't sleep much and so I'm running on empty for 8 months.

I was anxiety free during my pregnancy, which was nice.

 

[dgirllamius]

Oh a thread like this is really helpful

I have bi-polar disorder and was diagnosed when I was around 18. I never sought help for it as I thought I could deal with it on my own. Some days I deal with it really well and never have a manic or depressive moment, I'm just normal me. But then I have days where I can be happy one minute and then in a bad mood the next.

I still don't seek help for it, I don't take any meds and I don't go to the doctor regularly to talk about it. I just wish I had more support to deal with the off days. Quite hard to get that right now.

I have anxiety issues but only since moving here. The whole language barrier gets me in a right state sometimes. People will talk to me and I just don't know what to say back. It's quite rubbish really. I feel like I'm going to say something wrong and they're going to laugh at me. I know they won't because when people try to talk English to me and they say something wrong I certainly don't laugh at them.

So yeah, I'm free to chat to anyone who wants an ear

 

[JleStar]

Thank you for this thread babykiwi. It helps to know that others understand what you are going though. I have never been diagnosed with disorder but I know for sure that I experienced major anxiety and had several panic attacks. My attacks usually stemmed from an odd sensation in my body--feelings of fainting--fears of dying, diarrhea, heart palpitations which always got worse when I was home alone with LO because I was so scared that something would happen to me and no one would know AND LO would be left alone helpless.

I am pretty sure they were triggered from sleep deprivation and constant breastfeeding in the first few months of my Los life.

I learned to recognize a symptom that caused my panic and then repeat to myself, "it's only a symptom!!" then I would drink a tall glass of water and listen to some anxiety relieving hypnosis on YouTube. I know it sounds weird but that's what got me through it. I also looked into the relationship between the gut and brain and started to make a natural probiotic called kefir. Not sure if it was coincidence but since I drank kefir I have not had a panic attack. I think for me it was pathogens in my gut tht caused my anxiety on top of the sleep deprivation.

 

[melany]

I have bipolar II and anxiety. It's very hard to cope sometimes especially now with the LO. I am on meds for it but they only help half way. I am so glad you made this thread. I am here for anyone that wants to talk about the daily struggle with these disorders. We can share and commisurate.

 

[Noelle610]

Hi girls!

I have always suffered from a tad of anxiety, but I have never had mental health issues so severe until I had my baby. I had terrible postpartum depression and insomnia after Charlotte was born. I am typically a happy, positive person so this took me by surprise. Quite frankly, I didn't even really know that I was depressed - I thought I just didn't like motherhood. Things got worse and worse for me until around 6 months postpartum. I was sleeping an average of 2 hours a night and was becoming really crazy in terms of sticking to a routine. I think it helped me feel as if I had control over the unpredictability that is motherhood. At that time I decided to see my midwife and get some help - I was diagnosed with severe PND and insomnia. I got on medication and am in therapy and I truly feel like a new woman. I'm really enjoying being a mom for the first time! I'm so grateful I got help, but wish I hadn't waited.

 

[Arisa]

Hey Kiwi, As a fellow NZ lass born and raised but not there now (in Surrey right now) I want to give you a big hug and tell you that you are certainly not alone. Have you been to your local GP yet? With anxiety disorder its very hard to express it to a doctor or a psychiatrist as I know from experience since sometimes you do not have the words to say and are shaking like a leaf, sweating and have a horrid headache. now Since the age of about five when I started school, anxiety hit me hard and I was borderline asperges, seriously the teachers did not know what to say to my parents and the charming doctor I saw at age 11 when I tried to commit suicide told me I was making everything up but that is in the past now and I was able to move on with HELP and support and especially the right therapy. I found a decent psychologist which should be free in NZ if you are on a Disability allowance or have a community services card. They can help you through your anxiety and the doctors are great for diagnosing also I would suggest asking your doc to refer you to a Psychiatrist free of charge as they are in NZ if you go through your doctor although you might wait a few weeks or months they will help you through your post natal woes as well as your ongoing anxiety. I have had immense support, until I came to england to be with my husband, i mean he is fantastic and supportive but i am going back to NZ to be supported as the mental health system is fantastic and my NZ doctor is wonderful. you need a good doctor who will talk you though possible medications.

The best short term anti anxiety meds are benzodiazipines like lorazepam and diazepam and diazepam is the longest acting least addictive one then there are newer antidepressants that have less side effects such as bupropion and stablon or the SSRI ones like prozac and citalopram which are mild and have mild side effects but you will feel better.

These are just suggestions from my experience and I have been on a lot, from anti psychotics to sleeping pills to a wide range of anti depressants.
I also have a personality disorder and was so crazy that when my little darling was three months old I wanted to adopt her, give her to my parents to look after and run away, i had all these mad thoughts running through my head, and hid under the bed when my baby cried so i always need my husband or parents around and i really love my girl to bits, she is so fantastic and i love cuddles and feeds with her but there are times when the pressure gets too much, you need to tell someone close to you when it does

what have you done support wise? have u tried medications???????
for natural alternatives there is always valerian for sleep and st johns wort for panic attacks

 

[JleStar]

Just wondering how very one is doing? I hope better

 

[britt1986]

Hi. I'm Brittany. I am 27 with 2 LO's. One boy who is 4 and a daughter who will be 6 weeks Friday. I also suffer from anxiety and depression. I think I may also have a bit of bipolar. My mood can change very rapidly throughout the day. My health anxiety is the worst. To say I am a hyprochodriac is an understatement. I freak out at the smallest things. Sleep deprivation doesn't help. DD is a terrible sleeper and DS won't sleep alone. I was diagnosed with postpartum depression after my son was born. I didn't leave my bedroom for 6 months. I didn't want to see anyone and didn't want to go anywhere. Taking DS for his checkups would freak me out bad. I constantly think I will get some horrible illness. It consumes my life and I hate it!!! I have been on 5 different antidepressants in almost 5 years. I am now on Zoloft 50mg and thinking I need to up the dose or change all together. I am tired of living this way. Being a SAHM home alone with both kids day in and day out doesn't help either. So....you are not alone.

 

[TryinFor1]

Well this thread is a little old but I will share my story.

I haven't officially been diagnosed with anything but I have been a self harmer for ten years. I think I have a mild form of bipolar disorder as I will be fine one day and not want to get out of bed the next. I think I also have depression but it is also undiagnosed.

I don't let any of it show nor do I talk about it . I met one friend on here and kind of unloaded on her and she hasn't talked to me since so that sucked. Lol.

I have good days and I have bad days. Lo makes everything so much easier. Gotta stay strong for him.

 

[Spiffynoodles]

I know this is old, but just wondering if there are any ladies now that are dealing with this and want to talk. I have postpartum depression and anxiety and just started 50mg of Zoloft and am hoping it makes a difference, because I feel like I'm a terrible mother most days because I just don't even want to get off the couch and I snap at my kids more often than I should. This really sucks, and part of the problem is that I don't really have anyone in real life to talk to, so if anyone out there is going through this and wants to talk, I'm game.

 

[xQuinnx]

Me spiffynoodles!
I don't know what's up with me, I am fine in the day 99% of the time but night time is totally different. I go through phases where I can't sleep even though little one is fast off, I cry and am convinced that I am an awful mother, my child should have been born to someone else, that my husband will leave me etc. By morning I'm usually fine :-/ my husbands very supportive but I don't know what to do, I just seem to really hate myself.

 

[TryinFor1]

I know this is old, but just wondering if there are any ladies now that are dealing with this and want to talk. I have postpartum depression and anxiety and just started 50mg of Zoloft and am hoping it makes a difference, because I feel like I'm a terrible mother most days because I just don't even want to get off the couch and I snap at my kids more often than I should. This really sucks, and part of the problem is that I don't really have anyone in real life to talk to, so if anyone out there is going through this and wants to talk, I'm game.

Seeing this thread again is crazy. I had pnd when I typed my response. I commend you for getting help. H had a rough year last year because I didn't get help. With my most current pregnancy and lo, I started Zoloft while pregnant. My anxiety was so bad I could barely care for my toddler the way he needed to be taken care of. Physically I could, but i wasn't there for him emotionally. I had horrible health related anxiety, specifically to food borne illnesses. I spent hours upon hours, never eating and never sleeping, googling about food borne illnesses. About six weeks after starting Zoloft I was a different person. I was exactly what I wanted to be as a mom. H put the phone down, and was able to play with my son again! I continued it through my first almost month pp. I did discontinue it, but that is only because I realized one day it had been like a week since I last took it. My husband is trying to get me back on it. He's on it too. I'm thinking about starting it again. I'm not where I was AT ALL. But it did help me remain calm when my toddler or husband did something annoying. I will admit that since stopping, my patience is running thin.

I'm so glad you're reaching out for help. I was a mess last year and I regret not getting help.

I'm always here if you wanna chat.

 

[Spiffynoodles]

TryinFor1 and Quinn, I remember seeing both of you a lot in the trimester boards (I was originally a November momma, but my LO came 5 weeks early).

TryingFor1, I'm glad that the Zoloft has helped you out, since I'm hoping it helps me, too. I also wish I would have gotten help sooner, since this has been going on for a few months now.

Quinn, I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this too. The thoughts that you describe were the same ones going through my head all the time, except for me, it's been happening during the day when I'm with my kids. It's horrible to feel that way. Have you talked to your OB/midwife about it? It sounds like PND to me, even though it doesn't happen 24/7. I didn't feel that way all the time, either, but I noticed it was starting to happen more and more, which lead me to finally call and get some help.

 

[TryinFor1]

I thought your screen name looked familiar.

Anyway you just have to make sure you take it consistently and give it a few weeks. it took me about 6 and by 8 weeks, I felt pretty good.

 

[Spiffynoodles]

Thanks. 6 weeks sounds like a long time, especially because when I started taking it a few days ago, I stupidly thought that it would start working right away. The nice thing is, I already feel a little better just knowing that it's going to help, because sometimes all you need is a little hope.

 

[ExpectingK]

Hello all. I suffered with PND after I had my daughter. It was quickly dealt with as I recognised the signs of depression having had a bout about 10 years prior.

My biggest issue now is anxiety. I worry about the silliest things and although I recognise they are minor things I cannot yet control my worrying.

I have always had a mild case of OCD (making sure tins are straight, clothes in cupboard arranged by colour). This has worsened and more things bother me since having DD.

I have recently been diagnosed with IBS which is of course worsened by stress.

I seem to have had several stressful events since last summer which have triggered general anxiety. I feel in control of things at the moment but there was a point before Christmas where I felt close to breaking point.

I appreciate that medication might help but going to the Doctors feels like admitting defeat. Given I survived this episode I feel like I should try and tackle how I deal with stressful events.

It'll be nice having like-minded people to chat things through with.

 

[Spiffynoodles]

Hi ExpectingK. Sorry to hear about your anxiety. I get anxiety, too, usually revolving around sleep, my sleep or my kid's sleep. When we're out with the kids and it starts getting close to bedtime, I'll start panicking about getting home in time to put them to bed, which drives my DH crazy. I also had a major anxiety attack this past Monday where I started hyperventilating so bad that I almost blacked out. That was the point when I decided that I needed to get some help.

Its hard enough being a mom without depression and anxiety on top of everything else.

 

[Selaphyna]

I had ppd after I had ds1, though it wasn't caught until he was just over 3 months old.

This time around, we caught it early, and doctor put me on 20mg of Paroxetine. I've been on it since 6 weeks pp (so just over 4 weeks now). I'm still not sure if it's helping completely or not. But I did realize tonight after forgetting to take it for just two days, and realizing that both of our bank accounts are almost non existent (luckily he gets paid Friday, but I have no income coming in now), my anxiety kind of got the best of me today. Worrying about if he and I will have enough money for food, and diapers, and even to pay our bills. I am on WIC so I'm getting formula for DS2, and some items for myself, but that's it. I have to make sure to call state DHS on Monday to see about LINK card (hate to do it, but it's there for help, so I'm hoping we qualify now), as well as medical card for myself and DS2 (as we found out on Thursday that he can't be put on his dad's insurance now until he is almost a year old). So I'm sure my meds are working for my anxiety (as long as I remember to take them), but not sure about my depression. Some days are better than others.

I also have a history of depression before I even started having children. I've been dealing with it since I was at least 10 years old, and I'm almost 32.

I also don't really have anyone in real life to talk to about this, other than my doctor or the ladies down at WIC (they are lovely). Can't talk to my parents, because they have no clue I quit my job to stay home with my son (plan to get pt job some time, just not sure when at this time). I didn't want them to lecture me about it, but after a long talk with DF, we decided it was for the best. None of my friends live around here, all live back home, so we chat on occasion on FB but that's it. DF is wonderful, but sometimes it's hard to talk to him because he doesn't quite understand depression. He thinks you should just get over it and deal. Luckily since having Eryk, he has been a bit better, and doesn't make me feel bad for being on medication, like he would have done in the past.

I also don't think that it helps that I'm pretty much stuck inside. Its freezing cold here, and DF's car wouldn't start last weekend, so he took my car all week to work. I couldn't go anywhere (which is fine to an extent, bc I really didnt' need to take Eryk out in the cold). I do go do the shopping when DF comes home, that way I can get out of the house, but I think I have a bit of cabin fever, and I know that doesn't help depression.

 

[Spiffynoodles]

Selaphyna I understand where you're coming from. I've dealt with depression since I was a teenager at least, but it finally got bad enough after having DS2 that I sought help. I'm also stuck inside a lot and have no friends living around me, just over facebook. It's hard to feel that way and feel isolated on top of it.

I think the medication I'm on is starting to help though. I haven't cried in almost 5 days now, which is pretty good for me. I have hope that if a few more weeks it will get even better.