Anxiety/Depression support thread

[Spiffynoodles]

I've been okay. The anti-depressants I'm taking are helping with the worst of it, though I got AF this weekend and had a couple of difficult days, probably just because of the extra hormones.

Topsy, have the doctors told you whether they think you'll go back to the level of depression you had before, or do they think this is going to be a permanent change?

 

[topsy]

I thought I posted last night or the early hours but not sure where I posted!!!

Hope AF dosnt wobble you to much sweetie.

I had a meeting this morning with my care coidnatiors manager and am feeling a biy better this is definitely a big blip. They will not hospitalize me AM so glad I am not that ill again.

They havent said if this will go back to depression hun But after 3 years I am doubtful.

Hows your day been?

xxxx

 

[Spiffynoodles]

Topsy, you're right, three years seems a little too long to be a temporary thing. I'm glad that you're not being hospitalized again, though.

I had a great day yesterday. I was playing with the kids, exercised a little, cleaned, and even made a nice dinner. I hope today is just as good.

 

[pichi]

good days are great and bad days are awful!

i have the doctor tonight and i'm feeling anxious about just going. i don't know what to say to her. :\ i have several things to talk about; anxiety, depression, our trying for a year with no success etc... i feel like i'm broken!

 

[topsy]

thanks noodles hun, I am glad you had a good day and hope today is as good hun.

Pichi I agree good days are fab BUT bad days are awful

Can you write down the points you want to say and either read them out or just hand them to the Dr hun? I do that sometimes hun I cant always get what i want to talk about out!

I am glad its nearly bedtime for LO my voices are bad and I just want to listen to some music with my headphone on and block things out sometimes its the only thing that works for me with my voices,

xxx

 

[pichi]

well, i have been and she couldn't have been nicer. I've been put on anti-depressants (fluoxetine?) paired with psychology sessions. feel like someone has finally listened!

 

[topsy]

Glad you feel like you have been listened to hun and that she was helpful. Hope the tablets and therapy sessions help hun, well done for talking, take care xxx

 

[Spiffynoodles]

Pichi, I'm so glad you're getting the help you need. Hopefully you'll start seeing an improvement soon.

Topsy, I hope you don't mind my asking, but what exactly do you mean when you say voices?

 

[topsy]

No sweetie I don't mind you asking-I am totally open about all my mental health- When I was in a mother and baby unit they taught me its nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about and the more people talk about it the more acceptance ( hopefully and understanding) there will be toward people with MH problems

I hear voices-people who talk to me, i hear the through my ears 9 not like your own voices/thoughts in your head) at the moment its 3 men, one who smokes so I know hes there as I can smell the smoke before he talks, so auditory hallucinations I also see hooded people so have visual hallucinations. They think it depression with psychosis.

I hope that makes sense sweetie xxx

 

[Spiffynoodles]

Thanks for sharing, Topsy. You're right, the more metal illness is talked about, the less stigma there will be against it. That must be really unnerving to hear and see people that aren't there. It scares me just thinking about it. Have they tested for schizophrenia?

 

[topsy]

Yep when I last saw my psychiatrist- the first question I asked was did I have schizophrenia? But he didn't think so, as i don't have delusions or I do but know they are not true- the voice tell me there is a devils army and they want to get me and LO and I see hooded people-who are the people who take you to the leader-the devil BUT although this is what the voices tell me (and i see the hooded people) I know they are not true and not really there 90 % of the time its just the 10% of the time when i am really bad that i worry about and believe there is a Devils army. So they think its sever depression and anxiety with psychosis. I also have BED and social anxiety disorder too so am on a real cocktail of meds.

Had a good day today with some voices hope your doing ok hun?

I really believe the more people who know about it, the less stigma there will be-or I hope that what will happen

xxxx

 

[Spiffynoodles]

Thans, hun, I had another good day yesterday.

I'm so sorry you have to deal with such terrible voices and hallucinations. That just sounds awful.

 

[pichi]

wow topsy, that must be really tough. i can't imagine how that must be like. do you feel quite confined by it?

I've kicked myself up the arse and started taking up exercise again. I lost 3 stone after having my son when he was born but after 6-8 months i gradually phased out of the exercise and as a result i've gained 4lb over 2 years (not bad considering) but, with the depression i find i eat way too much :/ so if i'm going to be eating like a horse i should counter-weight it

 

[Spiffynoodles]

Pichi, that's great that you're exercising. I need to do better at that, especially since I still have 20lbs to lose to get back to my ideal weight (which is what I weighed before having my first baby).

 

[pichi]

i figure since it's taking forever to conceive #3 i might as well pre-occupy my mind with something else. I have an FT4 so i can track calorie burn etc...

 

[topsy]

Thanks noodles and pichi they are horrible and frightening especially at night when i see shadows of the devils army on the walls so think they are outside waiting for my family. it restricts all aspects of my life, especially when I am bad that 10 % of the time when i shout back at them and its confusing for LO and upsets every one around me. We were in a garden center on mon afternoon and i had just ordered a coffee but we had to leave as voices were so intense and I shout back at them and am embarrassed after. there's no control as i never know when or what is the trigger, i have been bad the last 2-3 weeks but we have no idea why i am lucky have carer and a lot of family support. I also have bad prolonged PND which I wish I could get rid of!

Pichi i am majorly overweight have put on over 7 stone since oct 2012 when i started my mood stabilizers. I am slowly loosing it lost almost 2 stone since start of Dec Good luck with your healthy eating and diet and exercise sweets. I think healthy eating-i am doing slimming world and cooking a lot from scratch is boosting my mood a bit all got to help.

xxx

 

[laura109]

Hi I'm sorry to jump on your post. I am really struggling emotionally and this site is the only place I can clear my head. I have found my family really disappointing through my pregnancy. My parents did not want to know the gender and gave me grief about the fact we found out. They also have been jokingly may bee or may bee serious about me going on about it. I am loving baby stuff and pregnancy stuff right now and for the last 8 months I've been preparing for this huge change and wanted to share me joy and excitement with them.

I have a sister and half sister. My full sister has got two kids. Carried on farming through her pregnancy and barely cooed or got excited about her babies. She doesn't fuss other peoples babies and has made digs and comments at me and people I talk to over our baby joys. If I put a picture of my bump up on Facebook I get likes and comments more than anything else I share. My sister said she wants to write on these pictures and say what's cute about her belly etc. If I ever put a status up about my joy she will always comment saying you will soon have a brat keeping you awake etc. She makes me feel angry. I turn to other people outside my family because I know I can be myself and get the help or support I need. Other people tell me its hard but so worth it.

The last month I've had pelvis pain etc and feel exhausted walking far. My sister is in a controlling relationship and has to work on his farm for free etc. She can't ever make plans and ever comes to me a 10 min walk away. I always have chased her and looked after her kids whenever she needed me too. Although her youngest has a different dad to her oldest (Her current partner) and he has no dad and hates jis mum. They spend most of the year not talking. They rip his mum to pieces yet she controls him to the point if she wants them to go for dinner they go. Every xmas we miss out on seeing them and his family get the kids. My parents are gutted that they barely see them now. They are noticing my sister can't seem to make any arrangements and they have to beg for an hour with them.

Anyway I want my parents to see my daughter and bond with her but the last few days I am feeing failed my family. My sister has not spoke to me for a week because It was her daughters birthday and she invited us round for a home made fairy cake and cup of tea at teatime. I had a lift with my parents who ended up sick so I said id prefer to come say hi in the day as I did not want to walk in the dark. Plus walking really is too much. Also if I don't eat a meal at 6ish I feel weak. She told me to leave it and has not spoke to me since.
Also my parents have been saying I best take the baby to them first not oh parents etc. There only joking but it is a dig at my sister for pushing them out. But the other day when I said we needed a babysitter one day after shes born as we have a voucher for the cinema and for a meal my dad said sell them and jokingly told me to get lost. then my mum said my sister and her partner never go out without there kids and that's something you can't take away from them..... she said it like it was good that they have not been anywhere literally in 3 years.... yet they moan they don't get to see there grandkids.
I'm sat here with days to give birth. All I feel is upset and alone. my oh has had to go out. My sister has made me feel so uncomfortable I darnt contact her. I'm worried ill go into labour and have the baby before we talk again. I'm really heartbroken that my baby girl is coming into a world where her auntie has an attitude because I didn't go round for a cake and tea due to being heavily pregnant. I wanted them to be excited for the birth of my daughter but instead there giving me the silent treatment.

I thought people would be fussing me by now but instead nobody texts or comes over. Please advice me on what to do

 

[Spiffynoodles]

Laura, I'm so sorry your family is not being supportive. Do you have close friends that live nearby that can give you support? And please, please, please don't listen to your sister when she says awful things about having kids. Of course its hard, but you'll never experience joy quite like it either.

I really hope your family comes through for you, but in the meantime, you can always talk to us.

 

[topsy]

Yep Laura sorry you are having such a hard time hun. HUGS.

Noodles hope you are doing ok hun? xxx

 

[Spiffynoodles]

Thanks, Topsy, I'm actually doing great. I've been on the anti-depressants for almost a month now, and they're really starting to make a difference. In fact, I might be ready to graduate from this thread, since I can't say I'm really feeling depressed or anxious anymore.