Anxiety over first scan

[fairycat]

How do you deal with the anxiety of your first scan? I had a mmc back in August and had a d&c. Nothing about the pregnancy was normal, so I still don't know what a normal baby looks or feels like at this stage. I have my first scan on Tuesday at 6w5d and I'm starting to really freak out. I've been at peace with everything up until today, and I am a nervous wreck about it. Any tips on how to get through the next day and a half and through the scan without having a panic attack? Everyone around just says "it will be fine". They don't know that!

 

[Rei]

I was the same way. I tried to tell myself the statistics of having two blighted ovum in a row. Yes it can happen, but the numbers are on my side.
I HATED when everyone would tell me that everything would be fine because that's exactly what they said with my first pregnancy (something about it didn't feel right and I just had a bad feeling) sure enough it was a blighted ovum.
My only advice is to look at the numbers. You have a better chance of having a healthy pregnancy the second time around. Yes miscarriages happen twice in a row but it's still very unlikely

 

[fairycat]

Thanks Rei. That's what my husband tries to keep reminding me of. Deep down I feel everything is normal, so I'm really hoping it is. It's just that doubt in the back of my mind that won't shut up, just because it happened last time. I hate it.

I'm just glad there are people on this forum that understand and can relate. It is very frustrating when people say it will be fine. Everybody said that the first time around for me too. Even after our abnormal scan (my husband saw it, I couldn't bring myself to look) he said everything will be fine. I really thought it would be, and it wasn't.

I hope I feel silly in a couple of days. This is just so hard to go through. I'm going to be a mess. I'll try to remind myself of what the doctor told us - statistically our miscarriages are over.

 

[lilmisscaviar]

I get tired of hearing that too, Fairycat. You probably know from following my journal that I've had three recurrent losses but all of them had reasons and probably could have been prevented if I would have just listened to my doctor. My first loss was because of a chromosome issue. My second was a uterine infection I didn't know I had (really my own stupid fault because we began having sex before I was fully healed from the D&C I had done with my first loss) so I had to have another D&C to clean all the infection out and then I had to take antibiotics. The third was because my uterine lining hadn't built up enough after 2 D&Cs. Fortunately the chance of this happening to someone is rare.

During my ultrasound exams when we discovered baby had no heartbeat my DH was the same way (he went to 2 of my 3 scans). He kept trying to reassure me that maybe the baby will suddenly sprout overnight, get a heartbeat and everything will be fine, but I knew otherwise. As to your emotions, it is completely normal after you've suffered a loss to be anxious about a new pregnancy. I say I can't wait for my ultrasound now but you watch... when the time comes I'm going to be an emotional wreck. I probably won't even be able to bring myself to look at the screen! All I can say is try to think that whatever will be will be. I know it is difficult... I've been there... just try to think positive thoughts. Think of how you're blessed with this baby after everything you've been through and it should help.

Good luck tomorrow

 

[babybearsmom]

Uggghhh, totally hear you guys. Whenever anyone says it will be fine, I add "hopefully" at the end. I think it's starting to annoy my family but they just don't get it.

My strategy is to try and ignore the upcoming appointment, which I do not think is the healthiest way of dealing. Then freak out on the way. I actually try and convince myself I could get through another loss. So stupid. And I never go alone. Lucky for me, my husband is his own boss so he comes with me to every scan so far. I just pray and hold onto hope that things could be OK this time. Visualizing the day they tell me the baby is healthy, or the birth and holding a living baby, that has helped alot. I can't help but smile/cry when I think that day will come for me. I hope it comes for all of us!

I'm new to this website, so hello everyone. Sending good vibes during your next scans.

 

[fairycat]

Thanks ladies, I'm glad there are people I can talk with who understand.

babybearsmom - welcome! I hope everything goes well with your pregnancy this time. I visualize the same thing, and it does help, but then I stop myself, because I feel like I'm getting my hopes too high. It's really sad to feel like this, this is supposed to be an exciting time.I will say I truly believe everything is good this time, but that darn doubt that won't shut up.

lilmiss - at least you have explanations. There was no explanation for ours, which doesn't give much closure. I'm just glad we can go through this together as I've been reading your story for a while. Husband try, but they just don't understand. I hope this is finally it for you.

My husband comes with me at every appointment too. He doesn't care what work he has going on, let he drops everything. I love that man.

9 hours until the scan.... I already told my husband he needs to let me know asap if everything is normal, because I can't look at the screen until it is.

 

[theiska]

I'm freaking out, too. One week until my first scan. I'm almost as far along as I was when started bleeding last time, so this week is impossible. I do try to keep myself from becoming attached, this time. I tell myself "Well MAYBE you will have a baby." It isn't the super excited "WE'RE PREGNANT!" feeling I have had before. I actually emailed my midwife and even they seem to think everything will be just fine and I have no need to worry. Just sucks. 7 more days. I just want to see a heartbeat.

 

[Linzalora]

Hello, ladies! I know this is an older thread, but I wanted to thank you all for sharing your experiences here. I'm in this exact boat now. Scan in 1 week and 4 days. I'll be 8w4d, approximately. My DH is not with me, so I'll be going it alone, and I'm so so nervous. Anyway, thanks for this post- it was very comforting to me. Cheers!