Anxiety over switching Daycare centers

[Chloe597]

I have a 19 month old DD and DH and I are considering switching daycares. I am feeling sick over the thought, and I don't know why. Her current daycare is fine, its close to DH's work, but since going to the toddler room, she has been very unhappy when being dropped off. And there is little consistency with teachers there. But up until now i have been really happy with all of the love shown to the kids by the teachers.

The new daycare is close to home, so both DH or I can pick up/drop off DD (before it was only DH since it was close to his work). The facilities are so nice there. My main concern is that some of the teachers that I met just didn't seem very enthusiastic. Some of them were happy, but not all. Am I over reacting? Unfortunately I don't know which teachers my DD would get. I am going to try to find out in advance of signing her up, if we decide to do it.

I would love to know other's experiences with changing daycares, and your thoughts on the teachers/caregivers. Please ease my mind

 

[ruby09]

We've only talked about switching daycares, and I had the same anxiety you are having, so we decided to leave ds where he was. We also recently moved up to the toddler room at the daycare we currently use, and I found a similar attitude with the teachers. Honestly, I think they are doing it on purpose to help the toddlers adjust to a more grown up environment. I think the curriculum is tailored more to the group rather than the individual as it was in the infant room. We had some drop off trouble when he first transitioned, but now he's actually doing quite well.

There are definitely things I like and things I don't like about ds's daycare, but in the end it works for us. If the new daycare is easier for your family, then maybe it will be good to switch. Best of luck in your decision.

 

[Chloe597]

Thanks for sharing your story! Glad i'm not the only one feeling like this. It's hard when i hear conflicting stories from different parents at the same daycare, some love it, others have issues with the teachers. it also sounds very heavily dependent on which room my DD would end up in. I am touring again on Thursday and know what my 3 room choices are, so I am hopefully going to make the best decision possible.

 

[jd83]

I've only ever used home-based sitters, who watch 5-6 kids. So my experience is probably not quite the same, but I did have to switch when DS1 was around 1 yr old, because our sitter at the time was moving out of state. It was very nerve wracking! I totally get where you're coming from there! I was anxious we'd pick someone who didn't give the kids enough attention, or that they wouldn't use the same parenting principles we use, etc...In the end, we picked a sitter who is very close to our home, so either of us can pick up/drop off. I was really unsure at first whether it was the right move, because she didn't seem super friendly when we met with her a few times, but it has ended up being the BEST decision for us. She is absolutely amazing with all the kids, they treat her like she is another grandma to them, its close to home so easy for us if they get sick and one of us needs to go get them, etc. She takes them to the park, she plays outside with them often when its nice out, she teaches them preschool level things, etc.

I think you just need to make a list of what is most important to you in a daycare. Make a list of questions you want addressed, like how do they handle nap times, how do they handle diaper changes (like frequency of changing, is it at set intervals, or just as needed, etc), how do they discipline when needed, or do they not discipline at all, how do they handle aggression between kids (hitting, kicking, biting, etc as its bound to happen at some point), what is their educational plan if any, and so on. Will they let you observe for a little while during actual hours to see how it runs?

 

[Tweak0605]

I've had the same anxiety over switching daycares. I've gone as far as looking at new ones, but get so anxious at the thought of switching.

It started when the teachers at our current one started leaving. Our daughter has been through 5-6 teachers since starting at 11 weeks; she's 20 months now. Then we got a new owner. The director majorly sucks, but her teachers are wonderful. And THAT'S the reason we stay. She LOVES going to "school" and she loves her friends. A couple weeks ago, DH dropped her off and she immediately ran and gave her teacher a hug. And last week when he dropped her off, she immediately ran to her friend S and they started chasing each other and playing with each other.

The director is currently on maternity leave, so I'm dreading when she comes back. It's been amazing not having her around. The communication with her sucks, but I had a meeting with the owner and I never have to talk to the director, I can go straight to the assistant director or the owner.

I would try to go back a few more times, and maybe a few unannounced visits. Unannounced visits would show you what their day is like, without knowing that you'll be dropping by. That might give you more of a feel of what they are like or do. I do know though, that a few other moms at my school, their daughters would cry and scream when they would be dropped off. It took awhile, but they're okay now. It just takes time to get over, if your LO is more attached to you. They're at the prime age for separation anxiety. Just yesterday I was able to leave my daughter with our neighbor for 30 mins and her NOT cry for me. It made me feel good. And if I do drop off (which is rare), I have to distract her with food cause she doesn't want me to leave.

 

[seoj]

We switched LO around 2yrs-- her original daycare was well enough, but when she moved to the 2yr old room she just didn't seem as happy (and I didn't really like the 2yr teacher either. She didn't do anything bad, per say, but the room was crazy and busy and she was a bit curt and I didn't like her vibe as much as the teacher from the 1yr old room). She was only there like 5mos before switching though. But we took her out for like 3mos- then started the new daycare after we found one we really liked.

It was JUST the teacher- other little things were getting under my skin. And the # of kids in the room was well more than I thought was needed. The new place is just setup better and smaller room sizes etc...

She LOVES her new daycare. And although I felt a bit guilty at first- I still knew, in my gut, it was the right decision. Just trust your insticts and I'm sure all will be just fine. If you worry about the teacher- just ask. Then meet them specifically- although that does change as they get older (obviously)- least you'll know where LO starts

 

[Chloe597]

Thank you so much! I am going back tomorrow when the day has started with activities to meet with my 3 room choices. One thing i hate about my current place is the number of teachers they have gone through. I can think of 8 'permanent' teachers that she has seen, about half of whom have quit, and that doesn't count the constant random floating teachers that relieve the main teachers at the end of the day. I have loved the ones in the younger rooms, but am concerned about class sizes, my daughters happiness, and then there is the convenience factor of having one closer to home. It was so much easier to choose an initial daycare because we pretty much had no other choices. Choices make life so much harder, because what if you choose wrong??

Thank you, JD for the list of question ideas. I didn't think to ask about discipline and aggression, mostly since i haven't experienced that with my DD yet, so it easily slips my mind.

 

[Tweak0605]

Do you know why they've gone through so many teachers? I know for a fact that it's the director at my place - one of DDs teachers told us that a group of them had gone to the old owner to talk about the director, and then a week later that teacher was fired. And then they lost 5-6 teachers throughout the school, all who left. I've voiced my concern to the new owner about this, and so has a bunch of other parents.

I would say if you don't think your daughter is happy there, definitely look at switching her. We've gone through that many teachers as well, but my daughter is happy and always smiles and laughs when we talk about her teachers and friends. If she wasn't, then I'd be looking more into switching too.

And I will say, having one closer to home is definitely a major factor. Before we moved, her daycare was in the same town my husband worked. We did this because we knew we'd be moving to the same town, after his boss told him he'd keep him after his apprenticeship was done. Before we moved, if he had to work late and I did pick up, I had to drive the 45 mins away to pick her up then 45 min back home. It was ROUGH, especially when she was tiny and cried a lot. So definitely closer to home is a great thing!

It is hard to chose, because of the what ifs. You know what it's like at this current place, will it be the same at the new place? Definitely do your research and maybe call parents at the new place(s) and see what they say.