Anxiety with labor after my first (second chid)

[butterflywolf]

First off I will be talking to my doctor at my next apt on Feb 20th. Especially since my DH will not be with me. (He can't handle talk about stuff like that especially if I bring up blood).

Anyway with my first labor it was perfect. 8pm At night started to get contractions 2 mins apart. (I was already 4cm that Monday, this was on a Thursday night). Called hospital wanted to make sure it was the real thing. Went in at 9, had an epidural at 10:30pm. On and off slept. At 6:30Am it was time to push. Even with an epidural I could move every which way. at 8:01Am daughter was born.

Shortly after I hemorrhaged bad. My uterus refused to clamp down and I ended up losing over 2 liters of blood. My iron levels where at a 5.9 afterwards dangerously low. Should have had a blood transfusion but my body handled it well so I didn't get it. If my uterus didn't clamp down when it did to slow the bleeding within another minute or two chances are I would have been in shock and they would have been getting ready to take out my uterus.

The reason for this is my first was a big girl. No diabetes either. She was 9 lbs 3 oz and 22 inches. It wasn't like she was a chunky baby at all just really long. My doctor was stunned to see how big she was since max I only measured 1 week ahead.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure he (Doctor) will be keeping a close eye during the third trimester. I don't think he wants me to have another big baby but not sure. I already in my gut feel like our boy will be big. At our scan on Friday I was 19w 1d. Well two parts where measuring 18w 5d (femurs I believe they were sorry kid your parents have short femurs XD) And three things where 20w 5d and the rest where 20w 2d. Claire measured a week ahead at her scan.

In my gut I just feel that I'll have at least another 9lber. I have anxiety but I know my body can handle pushing out a 9 lber. I had no problem giving birth to my daughter none. And I know our bodies will only grow the baby to how big our bodies can handle it. I get that. But I just have anxiety about hemorrhaging again.

With my daughter I literally couldn't hold her until a week after birth since I was way too weak and I'm not a weak person. I have muscle but due to the blood lose and recovering it took awhile. I fear for all of that again.

guess I'm not sure what I'm looking for but maybe I just needed to get it off my chest all of it. I dont' know.

 

[Eleanor ace]

. I've not heard of a big baby leading to haemorrhage before, do you know what about her size possibly caused it? Talking to your doctor is a good plan, hopefully he'll be able to reassure you that they ill be prepared for it this time and ready to treat you as soon as you start to lose too much blood, if you do.
Just to add, my DS was 9lb 15 but my DD was only 8lbs, so you may find that your DS is smaller

 

[butterflywolf]

He said since she was my first my uterus was just too stretched and too exhausted to clamp down after having her.

And wow that's quite a difference in size! Hopefully we'll get lucky too then. Thing is and I know it, you don't really know the size of the baby until baby is here.

 

[kajastarlight]

I understand where you are coming from. It sounds crazy when I say it - but I had a horrible terrible OMG Kill me now migraine for over a week that put me in the hospital for 6 days! It was THE WORST thing I ever experienced. Now when I start to get a migraine I freek out that it is going to be as bad as that one. The only thing that eases my anxiety is when it doesn't end up like that. I think you may kinda be the same on this one. hang in there - what ever is going to happen is going to happen and you are probably strong enough to handle it again if it does. And yes, make a plan with your doc!