anxious and can't sleep at all - please help

[fairycakes]

Hi everyone. I've just found out I'm pregnant - only 1-2 weeks according to the tester. We had been trying and it was a planned baby. Now the results are in though, I'm really not at all sure how I feel.

I have only had a few hours sleep over the last few nights and am getting desparate now. Every time I close my eyes I start fretting about getting bigger and not being able to cope, and not being able to love the baby.

I work from home - and that isn't helping as I have no distractions in the day. I feel so desparate for sleep and being 'normal' again already - and I really just need some rest.

Does anyone at all identify with this - or have any tips AT ALL on getting to sleep. Please help. I just can't stop crying.

 

[abigail_71]

Hello, I feel a bit like this. I am pregnant with a planned baby but have a lot of anxiety about it. There is nothing wrong with you and I think this is in part hormonal but can be a result of loads of other issues too - like the vulnerability of not being financially independant of your partner or the fear that things might not be alright. I often wake at night for no reason I can work out and have vivid and not very nice dreams. Have you discussed your feelings with your partner? As for getting some sleep - hopefully someone will be along with advice on that x

 

[Sakura-chan]

I was in shock when I found out and it took a few days for it to sink in, even though it was planned.

I do not really have any advice but I did not just want to read and run...

I hope things settle down for you soon- it sounds like your hormones might be all over the place which is highly likely considering you are pregnant! Perhaps try to speak to your GP about it...

There are anxiety techniques as well that might help- I suffer from depression and anxiety and have used them in the past. Another thing you could mention to your GP perhaps. Relaxation cd`s might also work if you are trying to get some sleep...

My only other suggestion for sleep is aromatherapy- this is a bit of a hard one while pregnant though. You would need to check what oils you could use...

Good luck!

 

[Katieeeee]

Is this your first? When I found out I was pregnant (it wasn't planned) I felt just like you. I didn't "know" what I was gonna do (even though deep down I knew that I'd go through with it), so I went straight round my mum's, for some reason I knew talking to my mum would make everything clear and a couple of hours later I knew I was going to become a mum. For about 2 or 3 weeks it didn't sink in, I had all these fears and I felt exactly the same as you. Then gradually each fear became smaller and I began to acknowledge that there was a little miracle growing in there and I sort of said "hello" to it in my head, as ridiculous as it sounds. After that the motherly instints kicked in and everything else just came naturally. The hormones took over and although I do have the odd few days where I feel a bit weird, I just imagine my little baby looking up and smiling at me and I feel so happy and blessed xx

 

[fairycakes]

Thank you so much for these lovely replies. It is so kind, and I feel better knowing that there are some people out there that felt/feel the same way.

It is my first - and I did exactly the same and went to speak to my mum, and I have discussed it with my partner too, but I still feel trapped - and just SO tired.

I haven't spoken to the GP yet, in a way I don't want to because it will make it all too real - but I will do, and try and get some advice: I have suffered from anxiety and depression too.

Anyway, on with the day - it's good knowing you're out there, thanks so much again. X

 

[babystar]

 

[Pregnancy-No1]

I felt like this aswell, It is also a planned pregnancy! We tried for 4-5 months and when I got the positive I was very happy! I then started having mixed feelings, wondering if I will be able to cope, also the thought of everything changing when the baby arrives (less time with my husband, no more sleeping in, no more going to the shops quickly etc. also what if I wount be able to loose all the weight that I put on) also I put on some little weight (nothing serious) and I started feeling unattractive...

BUT!!! one day I just broke down and cried in my husbands arms and told him how im feeling, he didn't judge me, he said we would handle it and im not alone he will be there to help and we will get trought it.... hahaha then I cried about not wanting sex that often with him anymore and said that I feel bad about it (stupid hormones!) but after the crying episode everything came into place.

I dont have mixed feelings anymore, I feel so excited about this baby now and I cant wait to have this baby....

 

[andbabymakes3]

Hi fairycakes. I totally identify with what you said - when I first found out I used to swing from absolutely thrilled and ecstatic about being pregnant...to utter utter blind panic about...well....everything really!!

Getting bigger...yep. You are gonna get bigger. Sorry! You can manage it by keeping active (gentle exercise mind!) and NOT eating for two - but you can't try to cut back or diet. Aside from the health risk to the baby, you will feel like utter crap if you dont eat properly.

I was worried about this because I have spent a long time trying to get to a shape/size I was happy with, and was concerned about my OH still fancying me etc etc etc. But do you know something? I love it now. Its gone from looking like a slightly fat belly to a baby bump. I don't look like a sex goddess, nor have I got the 'glow' - but thats my baby in there. My body made a person. How can that be anything other than amazing? (And as a bonus...thanks to the lovely pregnancy hormones...I now have fantastic boobs, and my bum looks great!)

As for loving the baby, and coping - I didn't allow myself to feel a connection for the first 12 weeks, cos I was being silly and panicking about MC...but when you see the first scan, and they show you the heartbeat - jesus. There isn't a drug, or a sport, or an anything that could give you anything even close to that high.

Now I can feel my squidge wiggling - which at first is utterly surreal (and a teeny bit freakyy!) but now...I love it!!

Give yourself a break sweetheart - its your first baby. Theres no book or guide to how you are meant to feel. We all process things in a different way, and shouldnt beat ourselves up if we have 'bad' thoughts about the pregnancy in the beginning.

I still have moments of total and utter freakout. Less so now, but they are still there! I still have worries, doubts, concerns...thats totally natural.

Your body and mind will prepare you for what is coming up - you just need to look after yourself, stay nice and calm (where possible!), eat well...

As for the sleep thing. You are preaching to the choir - I am a rubbish sleeper. Most nights I toss and turn, then spend the early hours slipping in and out of consciousness.

I have one word for you. NAPS! If you get tired during the day - sleep!! Even if its only 15 mins.

I also work from home, so feel quite isolated at times too. I am in a new area aswell, so not got a social network here yet. If you ever fancy a chat, I'm here. Just yell!

God that was a lot of waffle...sorry!! =) Have a good day.

 

[gracegrace]

I can really, really relate to all you say... I think your anxieties are so normal, and I suspect far more widespread than we realise.

Have you got anyone to talk to about your fears? Is there any particular reason or has something happened to make you feel as though you won't cope. Do you have a supportive partner/family you could lean on a bit?

In terms of sleep... as I'm sure you'll know, not all chemical/natural remedies are safe in pregnancy. Do thinks like gentle exercise, warm baths and soft music help? It's hard, I know. Thinking of you...

 

[JayDee]

I think however much you know you want a baby, once you are actually pregnant, it's kind of a reality check (OMG this is happening)....

I think I'm currently blocking out the hard bits (childcare when I go back to work, life not being your own anymore, that I'll be the only one of my close friends to have one so won't be as free/have as much cash to do stuff anymore) and just focussing on the fact that we really want a baby and we'll love it SOOO much, everything else will just work out, it has too...

On the sleeping thing, I don't really know. We have a lavendar and chamomile candle in the bedroom, it's meant to be an air freshener but it smells lovely. We normally put it on for an hour before we go to bed so the room is lightly scented by the time we hit the hay, it's really relaxing. I've got the opposite problem (well kind of) - I'm really tired and get to sleep quite early, but have woken up at 4.30 for the past 3 days and taken a while to get back to sleep, hoping that doesn't continue!

 

[fairycakes]

Thank you from the bottom of my heart - it makes such a difference knowing there are people out there who understand.

Pregnancy-No1: your story is exactly the same as mine, we tried for a few months - I got the ovulation sticks and everything, I was so keen!- and now its here I just feel terrified. I hope things work out in the same way for me as they have for you.

andbabymakes3: thanks so much for such a long and caring response. I think the working from home thing is really hard: even more so if you are new to the area. I have come out today and am working in a library (I'm a writer) just to get out of the house, and am meeting my husband for lunch - just to try and keep busy and distracted. Did you find you could still concentrate on your work after the inital shock?

gracegrace and JayDee: I'm off to Boots later on to try and find some relaxing bath stuff and I'll look for a relaxing CD too. I do have people to talk to, my husband is wonderful and my mum - I've even got friends who are pregnant (although further on than me) It just helps so much to be able to confide in people who don't judge and are at the same stage, and also who don't know me - somehow that makes it easier to open up. I'm worried about upsetting my mum, husband too much.

Anyway, thank you - you are amazing, and I've got tears in my eyes just writing this. XXX

 

[Kirstin]

We planned ours and we actually going to be PAYING for IVF yet I still had a financial panic eventhough we had saved all that money I think its just normal to worry xx

 

[JayDee]

Sounds like a good plan - hope you feel better soon x

 

[fairycakes]

Just wanted to say had a good night's sleep last night - hurrah! Me and my husband went along to the doctor's this morning - and it's all beginning to feel slightly more exciting and slightly less terrifying. Though I'm still really up and down about it. Anyway, I just want to say thank-you to everyone who responded and for being there for me at the right time.

Happy pregnancies! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

[JayDee]

Glad you're feeling better - you know where we are if you want us x