Any one else got this problem??

[Karkey]

Hey there everyone
Ok so where do I start?? Its kinda embarrassing.

Ok...Well my daughter is now 3 years old, From the time she was a few months old she began "rubbing" herself (Vaginal area) off the middle strap on the buggy. This used to be so embarrassing to me dat id stop the buggy and sit her up!!!

Anyway this problem seems to have come through up to this point in her life, She does these mad embarrassing jirating movements when the mood takes her and I could be anywhere.

I took her to the doctor and told her about this as I thought she may have some kind of itching problem and the doctor said that this is just normal, a lot of kids do it and dont make an issue out of it and she will "grow out of it"....But she hasnt


To get to the point....shes also had 2 urinary tract infections.....now I dont know weather this would have something to do with the fact shes been doing this all along or weather this is something else entirely.

Has anyone else had problems like this with their daughters as People look at me funny when I try explain.....I feel sooo alone and dont know how to make her stop

 

[Amarna]

How about telling her that what she's doing is "private" and is something that she should do when she's alone? I'm not sure how well she'd understand that at her age. Maybe ask her why she is doing it? Curiosity or being uncomfortable, etc? I'm not sure if I'd focus so much on stopping the behavior but on teaching her when what is appropriate to do when out and about.

I don't see how it would cause a uti honestly but I'm not a doctor so I could be wrong on that.

 

[Karkey]

Hey Amarna
Thanks for your reply.
I have tried asking her why shes doing it and she tells me her "Mary" is sore, but when I look, there's no redness or anything.Shes potty trained since she was a year and a half so its not like shes got nappies rubbing. Ive tried telling her "Thats not nice". I've tried just ignoring. Nothing changes. I feel its an uncomfortableness with her. Shes also cleaned in that area on a daily basis and give her clean underwear. Ive bought bigger size panties to give her more room, Ive also tried leaving her underwear off at night and just having PJs on.
At this stage im just at a loss and thinking of maybe going back to the doctors again and telling her I feel its something else, But as the doctor told me that this kind of thing was just "something that some kids do" I thought id ask if anyone else on here has the same problem before I go back.

 

[kel21]

Just wanted to say that I saw a program on this a few years ago that mentioned that some kids do this because it feels good. Sorry I know, not the answer you're looking for, but there it is. I would try maybe just reinforcing that there is a time and place for it! Sorry, hope that helps!

 

[seoj]

It's totally possible she's doing it cause it feels good? If so, then just try to explain it's something she needs to do in private... but it's tough, cause you don't want there to be any shame around what she is doing. So just let her know it's normal and perfectly OK- but something that should be done in her room alone etc... to her, the "sore" might be the feelings she get's when she does this?

Have you ask her pediatrician about it more recently... as she's not "grown out of it"-? Maybe they can advise better or least give you some reassurance as when kids normally grow out of it?

I have seen other posts on BNB about this... boys and girls... so it's pretty common. If she is prone to UTI's though, the rubbing may have to do with that- not that it's causing it, but she might rub cause it made it feel better? Sorry, I've no better advise hun, just some thoughts.

Most likely as she grows it will get better or she'll better understand it's not OK in public area's. But tough to get that across to a 3yr old... Best of luck hun

 

[Cassie.]

I'd take her to see the paediatrician again and mention that she hasn't stopped and that she says it's sore, she could have another infection. If there doesn't seem to be a medical reason for it maybe try not to make a big deal out of it and maybe distract her with something when she does it My oldest niece (4) still puts her hand down there absent mindedly, we just ignore it or distract her and she stops.

My younger niece (2) used to do the same thing with the buggy straps, it was really embarrassing, thankfully she stopped once she stopped using the pushchair.

Good luck

 

[Karkey]

Thanks Girls
Im glad shes not the only child that does this as I was starting to get a bit paranoid about it. I have 3 boys before her and none of them done anything like this so its kinda strange to me. Even though shes no longer in her buggy she still feels the need to do this and as my doctor told me that it was normal and she would grow out of it, I felt that I was being kinda pushed aside.

I myself thought that she might have some kind of underlying problem, itching or something as even when she stands to talk to me shes crossing her legs as if shes scratching. Ive bought her new loose underwear just in case the others feel a bit tight or something, but ive been reading elsewhere that maybe she could have some sort of sensitivity to soaps???
So this is something im going to look into now, although I use Johnson & Johnson (which is supposed to be sensitive) some sites say just to wash down with plain water???
Ill give it a go I suppose for a few days and see how i get on.

Anyways thanks again girls....hope something works (fingers crossed)

 

[kel21]

I was highly allergic to most soaps as a kid! I could only use dove bar soap for "down there" and my mom had to use cheer laundry soap (only one I was not allergic to) to wash my clothes in, and NO fabric softner sheets in the dryer with undies! Hope that helps! (And I grew out of all of that by my teens!)

 

[Maman]

maybe try a little canesten cream, if it stops then it was thrush, if she doesnt its probarly habit?

 

[MummyinJune]

Mabie make sure shes cleaning properly,after the toilet?
When i worked at a nursery a girl had this problem also, we had to wipe her front bum 2 make sure it was done properley, and with a wet wipe instead of toilet roll.
Mabie products you use in the bath?
Check she doesnt smell down there or that it is clean to look at.
Children prob just do a v quick wipe and go (This is if shes toilet trained)

 

[miaplus2]

my oldest used to get very "itchy" down below was always so worried about it, she used to have sleepless nights alot, we changed to sanex for baths and tried diff detergents for her clothes, and we haven't had to problem since, not sure if that would be any help? maybe worth a try. One doctor also suggested trying some worming medication as some little girls can get them in the front bottom although some people don't think it possible.

 

[Croc-O-Dile]

Have you thought about switching the material of her underwear? I used to be very sensitive down there as a kid (and while pregnant, ironically) and could only wear 100% cotton or silk. If she's already in 100% cotton, try switching her to silk. It may be hard to find silk undies in a children's size, but it's worth a shot! She could be feeling sore because she's having a bit of a skin reaction to the detergent you're using or the material she's wearing.

Best of luck x

 

[Amy_T]

I know it can be pretty common for boys and girls to discover that it can feel nice when they touch/rub or whatever down there, my male cousin had a habit of it when he was young but soon grew out of it (at least doing it in front of others!).

If you're concerned about it being irrtating i would say not to use soap at all - I've always been told (by various health professionals) that you shouldn't wash girls bits with any sort of soap, water in the bath is fine and it is sort of 'self cleaning', soap can upset the natural pH balance and cause problems.

Good luck!

 

[Bec C]

sounds like thrush to me.

 

[Mum_and_Baloo]

Hello

I completly know how you feel! My son did this when he was younger too! It wasnt because of the laundry soap (although that might be a possibility for you and would reccomend Ivory Snow laundry soap as it is ment to was infant clothing). It was because he was curious about his body.

Is it possible that she is says that it hurts because it is a sensation that she has never felt before and she is unsure of how to distinguish the difference between the two? The feelings are quite different but she may not know how to explain it or how it feels?? or maybe it hurts because she is rubbing to hard or for too long causing irritations??? Or maybe she might have to see a specialist to see if there is a greater issue??

With my son I use to physically pick him up and place him in his room when I saw him doing it. I explained to him that his bedroom is a private place and that when he needs to "rub himself" that he needs to go to his private place. I explained to him that it was not appropriate to "rub" anywhere else except for his room. With a few reminders he seemed to have picked up and understood what I was saying.

I wish you all the best of luck

 

[ablacketer]

I'm going to second the washing the girlie bits without soap
. Soap kills the good bacteria that keeps thrush, yeast, and bad bacteria at bay. Try using only wipe and make those the unscented sensitive ones.

Don't try to stop the rubbing completely as you could give her a complex that makes her feel badly when she is older. Teach her to go to her room to do that or to the bathroom. Good luck

 

[Laura--x]

Omg, thankgod for this thread!

my daughter ( 3 in april ) has been doing this since she was about 8/9 months old. She got badly constipated at that age at one point and would sit in her high chair and use the middle bit inbetween her legs to sort of move up and down on. She hasnt stopped since then! SHe goes through phases where she does it quite alot, then not at all for ages. But when she does it she sort of goes into her own little world, she sort of blanks out from everything.

Its really embarressing as it really does look like shes getting pleasure from it :S and it sends shivvers down my spine to think that could happen at such a young age!