Any other SAHM's that don't drive?

[Mrsb3]

Hello ladies,

I have 2 under 2 and I currently do not drive so I push around my double buggy day in day out, long walks to shops, doctors, cafes, toddler groups, parks etc..

I really like that it's good exercise and all that but I'm finding it all very time consuming I feel like we are robbed of having a good day out somewhere "decent" because I have to get back home and allow the journey home time as well as journey there leaving us hardly any time at the actual event! I have a husband and a 15 year old do I have to be back to cook their tea plus the little ones tea which is totally different from what we eat so need to be back for 3pm the latest. It's not such a big problem but now they are almost 2 and almost 1 I feel they could benefit from me taking them to great places beyond our local community and not having to leave half an hour after blooming arriving!

The thing is we can afford for me to be taking lessons but we don't have a consistent sitter so I can do 2 hour lessons one day a week. I guess its a huge ask on family members. My husband is self employed and has to work at the drop of a phone call so there is no hope their either. Looks like I'll have to wait until youngest is 3 and starts nursery. Anyone else in the same/similar situation?

 

[Googiepie]

I am. I have a 19 month old and 1 month old. It is soo time consuming to just get out of the house. The difference with me is I'm a single mom so some days if we're out too late we order in or we stop somewhere and have lunch or dinner, haha.

 

[hayz_baby]

Yes, i totally understand. I have 3 under 5 and don't drive. Everywhere is usually a dtive away so I cannever take them anywhere fun so I'm usually stuck to the local area or a couple of other places by bus.
I'm also so stuck as ds2 is heavily reliant on his naps and is awful when tired recently so we can't go anywhere until he has had his first nap and usually needs his second nap after 3-4 hours tops. I have alsp had to turn down fun days at preschool for Ds1 cozy I can't get there.
It's also frustrating that most things that need doing have to wait till oh is off so we can drive.
So Yes I know how hard it is. Especially with a tandem on the bus but with added 4yo...

 

[staralfur]

Maybe I'm being dense but can your husband not cook dinner sometimes if you're out with the little ones? I'd say 80% of the time my husband comes home from work my LO and I are out doing something and he makes his own supper.

I don't drive anymore, my license expired over a year ago and I haven't bothered to renew it yet. To be honest I do love the fact that I have to be active in order to go out and do anything. This morning I just walked 7k to take my LO to her soccer class and it was a great workout!

There are definitely times when it would be easier to drive but all in all I don't mind. I'm sure it would be harder with 2, though. What kind of stuff is close enough that it would only take you 20-30 minutes to walk to? I usually try to keep our activities very local during the week so that we're not spending too much time going to and from destinations, and then I save the 'bigger' stuff that's further away (like the zoo, science centre, beaches, etc.) for the weekends when my husband can drive (and he usually wants to be a part of that stuff anyway).

 

[Mrsb3]

Maybe I'm being dense but can your husband not cook dinner sometimes if you're out with the little ones? I'd say 80% of the time my husband comes home from work my LO and I are out doing something and he makes his own supper.

I don't drive anymore, my license expired over a year ago and I haven't bothered to renew it yet. To be honest I do love the fact that I have to be active in order to go out and do anything. This morning I just walked 7k to take my LO to her soccer class and it was a great workout!

There are definitely times when it would be easier to drive but all in all I don't mind. I'm sure it would be harder with 2, though. What kind of stuff is close enough that it would only take you 20-30 minutes to walk to? I usually try to keep our activities very local during the week so that we're not spending too much time going to and from destinations, and then I save the 'bigger' stuff that's further away (like the zoo, science centre, beaches, etc.) for the weekends when my husband can drive (and he usually wants to be a part of that stuff anyway).

Yes my husband could do the whole dinner thing but it's more of getting back to feed the little ones who eat at 4pm They are 1 and 2 so it's a messy carry on! Can't leave the house until youngest has napped she wakes up at 10.30 then 2 year old naols 11-1pm so we have this small window 1-3 to do something but its always a quick carry on because of journey times! So I just stick local then at least they get an hour stretching their legs at the park. Hubby works weekends so can't really take us anywhere too far unless a rare day out which involved him not getting any work done and spending lots of money in petrol and where ever we go like thomas land we went to last which was about 2 months ago now.

 

[Mrsb3]

Yes, i totally understand. I have 3 under 5 and don't drive. Everywhere is usually a dtive away so I cannever take them anywhere fun so I'm usually stuck to the local area or a couple of other places by bus.
I'm also so stuck as ds2 is heavily reliant on his naps and is awful when tired recently so we can't go anywhere until he has had his first nap and usually needs his second nap after 3-4 hours tops. I have alsp had to turn down fun days at preschool for Ds1 cozy I can't get there.
It's also frustrating that most things that need doing have to wait till oh is off so we can drive.
So Yes I know how hard it is. Especially with a tandem on the bus but with added 4yo...

Good to know I'm not alone. Even just to drive to tesco would be nice lol

 

[Cattia]

I know a lot of instructors offer evening and weekend lessons, would that be an option so your DH could have the kids? Or could you book one of those intensive courses when he has some leave? I found I didn't use my car much when my two oldest could both go in the double buggy as it was just as quick to walk into town, but when they get to the stage where they are walking it takes forever to get anywhere. Now we use the car all the time. I think when they are bigger and walk a bit faster and have more stamina we will walk more places again.

 

[calm]

Me I wish I did but I can't ever see it happening, I'm crap even as a passenger. Can get to most places with pram though, but even that is hard with twins (getting them down to the pram and out)

 

[LovemyBubx]

I don't drive either & I hate buses so we usually get the train to get into the main town & anywhere else. Or beg for a lift off someone!,

But we are lucky to have 3 parks & different small shops (coop tesco) to go to & also a sure start centre in walking distance so we can get by just fine without a car mostly.

But it is annoying getting to a swimming pool is a bit out of reach & there is lovely places round here that would take 20mins in a car but just out of my reach

Can't wait to afford lessons

 

[Mrsb3]

It's not a huge deal on a daily basis but sometimes I just want to take the kids somewhere fun even to line mcdonalds and tesco or soft play centre etc.. When they are 3 and 4 it won't be a problem they will both be out of nsppies, talking, and can eat on the go without making a mess of themselves and everything around them! And no more naps!!!!! I can prepare hubby and teenage son their dinner in the morning then soot off out!!! And get back for 5 to greet hubby and son right now there is just too bsby barriers as they are so little and to be honest I just don't think it's right buggering off out all day and not making hubby any tea for when he gets home or maybe im just old fashioned? A car would allow me to get out to bigger places and get back in time to make everyone happy

 

[Mrsb3]

I know a lot of instructors offer evening and weekend lessons, would that be an option so your DH could have the kids? Or could you book one of those intensive courses when he has some leave? I found I didn't use my car much when my two oldest could both go in the double buggy as it was just as quick to walk into town, but when they get to the stage where they are walking it takes forever to get anywhere. Now we use the car all the time. I think when they are bigger and walk a bit faster and have more stamina we will walk more places again.

At the moment my husband isn't able to watch the both of them on an evening, due to work commitments, Breastfeeding and bed time routine. Would be too much for him and too much for me having to clean up the mess he would leave for me to deal with

 

[whigfield]

Me! I'm a bit different though in that I have a license, and a car.. But I suffer with anxiety disorder and driving is top on the list for me, so I really cannot go out and drive on my own right now, especially with a usually screaming baby in the back.

What's worse is I live in the middle of nowhere on a rural RAF camp with hardly any facilities or buses around, but we manage!

 

[calm]

Me! I'm a bit different though in that I have a license, and a car.. But I suffer with anxiety disorder and driving is top on the list for me, so I really cannot go out and drive on my own right now, especially with a usually screaming baby in the back.

What's worse is I live in the middle of nowhere on a rural RAF camp with hardly any facilities or buses around, but we manage!

Thats my problem too. My anxiety is so much better than it ever was, but I just can't imagine driving, as you say especially with a screaming baby (2 in my case). DH goes mad when I dither about crossing the road, I would be dangerous in a car, seriously

 

[whigfield]

Me! I'm a bit different though in that I have a license, and a car.. But I suffer with anxiety disorder and driving is top on the list for me, so I really cannot go out and drive on my own right now, especially with a usually screaming baby in the back.

What's worse is I live in the middle of nowhere on a rural RAF camp with hardly any facilities or buses around, but we manage!

Thats my problem too. My anxiety is so much better than it ever was, but I just can't imagine driving, as you say especially with a screaming baby (2 in my case). DH goes mad when I dither about crossing the road, I would be dangerous in a car, seriously

It's horrible isn't it?! I know one day I WILL crack driving but right now it just feels like a mountain that I'd never be able to pass. I too spend ages deciding on when to cross the road as well.

 

[Kitteh_Kat]

Do any of your family members drive? Could you maybe arrange to have one look after the kids while another one takes you out for some quick lessons? My parents and older sister were the ones that taught me how to drive, and it was less stressful than doing lessons with an instructor.

 

[Mrsb3]

Do any of your family members drive? Could you maybe arrange to have one look after the kids while another one takes you out for some quick lessons? My parents and older sister were the ones that taught me how to drive, and it was less stressful than doing lessons with an instructor.

Only my dad, who is 68 and quite unwell at the moment and he lives 60 miles away so doubt he could afford to drive to mine weekly but good idea for people who have a close family near by.