Any other suggestions before I give up?

[MrsClark24]

Sorry for the length of this but I want to really explain.

DD was 6lb6oz when she was born. I had a massive over supply of milk, and had to work to get it down. For 3 1/2 months, breastfeeding was a pleasure. DD was gaining weight well and everything was awesome.

Then I noticed that she was coming off the breast still crying. She's a comfort suckler so I assumed it was just that she wanted comfort as she calmed down after a few minutes. But then I got her weighed at 16 weeks and she was only 10lb6oz. 2 weeks later she was 10lb8oz. I had a look at some older photos and I hate to say but she has lost weight recently, she was a lot more chubby around the 3 month time. My family agrees that she has lost weight.

I DESPERATELY want to avoid formula feeding so I've tried the following:

Fenugreek, blessed thistle, fenugreek and blessed thistle at the same time, oatmeal daily, lactation cookies, flax seed, cluster pumping, feeding every 2 hrs, pumping after every feed, hiring a hospital grade pump, breast compression and massage.

She's now at the point where for the entire 45minutes of me trying to feed her she would do two or three suckles on the boob before pulling off, looking around, crying, then going back on, suckle suckle suckle, off, look around, cry.... After 45min of trying to get her to feed I gave up and she took 6oz of formula.

It breaks my heart and I do not want to stop breastfeeding but I am at my wits end. And what makes it worse is that since we introduced one bottle feed when needed, DH has admitted that he has struggled with bonding with DD and he loves feeding her too, it helps him feel closer to her. So he kinda wants to formula feed too.

HV was no help at all. I feel like it's all against me and I have tried everything. I want to be able to provide for my baby and I feel like I can't, like I'm a failure. But at the same time she isn't growing and gaining like she should. She's nearly 20 weeks and she is still in 0-3month clothes, and even some newborn stuff. She's absolutely tiny.

Anything else I could try?

 

[dollyemi]

Have you been to see any bf consultant at your local children's centre yet? You'll be able to book a 1 to 1 appointment and they should look at what's going on, they're gonna have much more experience of this and should have some suggestions for you. Sounds like you're eating enough and I assume tongue tie etc has been ruled out?
You'll be able to get details of your local children's centre on the "baby" section of the netmums website. I have a few in my area, I just went to the one that had the lactation consultant available soonest. Don't beat yourself up, it really does sound like you've tried your very best

 

[dozydormouse]

Are there any breastfeeding counsellors that you could ask locally? If the HV is rubbish, try asking the maternity ward at your local hospital. Or get in touch with la leche league or NCT. I haven't got any personal advice I can give you, but all the same!

 

[dozydormouse]

'consultant'! That's what I meant, not 'counsellor'

 

[kix11]

I remember that the HV I went to see where totally clueless and offered me no help at all. But my local hospital ran a weekly breastfeeding support group and they also had a dedicated feeding team that you could contact at any time for advice and appointments. I know all regions do it differently but I would majorly recommend trying to find out what your area offers.

They gave me amazing advice and reassurance and if it wasn't for these brilliant people I would have probably given up in the early days.

I had a really strong let down and over supply in the first few months and my little boy would struggle and swallow a lot of air. When my supply settled down I remember having some feeds where it felt like there wasn't enough milk and one thing that I was told to do was pump until I felt let down and then quickly let baby latch on - this worked brilliantly for me and after a few days of doing this at a one or two feeds things were back to normal.

The more bottles you give to baby the more likely the problem is to get worse and the less milk your body will produce turning it into a vicious circle. You have done so well don't give up now!! I am obviously no health expert though and would majorly encourage you to speak to your local hospital I bet they will have some great support and advice and be able to offer you a one to one appointment

xx

 

[kix11]

I dont know where abouts in hampshire you are but just found some info on line - these people are trained breastfeeding support workers which is who I dealt with and will be much more qualified to offer advice over your HV. I found that the HV were obsessed with babies weight and all the charts they go off are based on ff babies there is no right or wrong for how your baby grows they are all very different. My little boy was born 9ib 1 and was massive but me and my hubby are small he dropped from the 91st centile line to the 25th then went to the 75th back to 25th and is now at the 91st again! His growth graph looks like the big dipper! And all the health vistors ever did was worry me but every time I went to the bf support they told me he was doing fantastic - he is now a very clever active little toddler and I don't why I worried. One thing I know I did right was continuing to breastfeed him it is the only nutrition baby needs until 6 months and the world health organisation recommend it until the age of 2. I am positive with the right support you can make it work you are definitely not a failure and have done so well keep it up!!

What is the project?
Providing breastfeeding information, encouragement and support for parents in the Eastleigh Town area. This is a free drop in service provided by trained breastfeeding project workers.

Wednesdays - 10am to 12 Noon. Chamberlayne Children’s Centre
Contact: Chamberlayne Children’s Centre or the breastfeeding project workers on
07748 945787 or 07810194024
Fridays (fortnightly) - 9.30am to 11.30am. Aviary Children's Centre
Contact: Aviary Children's Centre, Blackbird Road, Eastleigh or the breastfeeding project workers on
07748 945787 or 07810194024

 

[summer rain]

I agree with all the above advice. I would also get your LO checked for a urine infection, in babies these often don't have many symptoms aside from refusing to feed well and poorer weight gain. Also just because a baby looks slimmer does not mean they have physically lost weight just that they are burning off fat due to more activity and maybe with not putting as much on. My youngest is starting to look thinner but I know he definitely hasn't lost weight, he is just always moving and can even roll from back to front so keeps trying to do that xx