Any young mums on here regret having kids young?

[Beautywithin]

I had my daughter when i was a 16 nearly 17, of course i dont regret it, yes there are things i wish id done sightly differently, had my second at 23 and it has been a lot easier for me all round, not sure if its because im actually with a decent guy this time, or the fact, i no what to expect i.e sleepless nights,

i do wish id waited at least till id finished college, but i will get there in the end, people seem to think just beacause your a young mum, it means you wont make anything of yourself.. of course you can, it just takes a bit longer thats all


I always new id be a young mum, and i will dedicate my younger years to my kids..i wont be having anymore.. so as they get older, i can then start doing the things iv always wanted to do x

So if you are not 100% sure about wanting a child just yet, then dont just do it because your partner does, a child can put a strain on a relationship, so take your time, you will know when the time is right

 

[amy_2]

So if you are not 100% sure about wanting a child just yet, then dont just do it because your partner does, a child can put a strain on a relationship, so take your time, you will know when the time is right

I agree, but ive just got a really indecisive personality, so have difficulty making decisions, but i don't want to drift through life never being sure, then end up 30/40, single and childless. I wish i was just able to make a decision and not second guess myself. It doesn't help that my parents don't agree with me having a baby now, so I wouldn't have their approval, which is hard. I would like my parents to approve of my decisions, even though im 23 now.

 

[amy_2]

I had 4 by 23!!

Im 32 now and have my 9! I dont regret it, but if you dont feel ready, then dont xxx

Oh my gosh, 9! How do you cope? And why did you have so many by 23?

I am 23 and still haven't finished uni, my whole upbringing was "go to school, then go to uni, then work on career". That's been the mentality drummed into me. My parents don't even want me to have kids yet and I'm 23 now! They would have shot me if i'd had a teenage pregnancy, actually no they probly would have shot the guy.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I had 4 by 23!!

Im 32 now and have my 9! I dont regret it, but if you dont feel ready, then dont xxx

Oh my gosh, 9! How do you cope? And why did you have so many by 23?

I am 23 and still haven't finished uni, my whole upbringing was "go to school, then go to uni, then work on career". That's been the mentality drummed into me. My parents don't even want me to have kids yet and I'm 23 now! They would have shot me if i'd had a teenage pregnancy, actually no they probly would have shot the guy.

I had a strict upbringing. My parents had the same views until I became pregnant at 16. My parents were shocked but very supportive, what else can they do?
It took them a while to realise but they soon learnt that being pregnant did not dissolve my brain cells, that my carer could wait etc. It must be hard to accept for parents to accept but life does not end when you become a mother, it merely starts. I can honestly say my parents are more proud of the journey I have travelled and coped and that's all that matters in life. Having children young does not mean you can not make achievements in life, just means you may have to work harder

 

[MikieC]

It depends on how young is young really. I was 21 when I had my first and she will be 14 in January. I wouldn't change her for the world!

Here comes the but....

I was married on my 21st birthday to a guy who was totally wrong for me (but wouldn't listen to my dad!). I was 4 months pregnant when I married him. We divorced 3 years later.

I am now 35, live with my fiance and my daughter and am 4 weeks pregnant. My fiance and I want to have a baby together but it means that there will be at least a 14 year difference between my kids.

I used to think that having her so young would mean that when I was 42 she will be 21 and I would still be young enough to things I wanted to do when she was old enough to take care of herself. (Please bear in mind I was still young then!)

Now I'm starting all over again and I'm over the moon about being pregnant! How life changes eh?

 

[Seity]

My brother had his first at 18 and two more by the time he was 21. Once you have them you can't imagine your life without them, but he says he wishes he'd been older.
I'm 37 and just had my first and I'm so glad I waited. I personally wasn't ready to be a mother until I was 30 and then it was a matter of finding the right person and marrying them.

 

[Ju_bubbs]

I had my first a couple of weeks after my 16th birthday, at the time it obviously wasn't ideal! But now he's 11 and I'm still 'only' 27! I love it tbh, I'm yung enough and just about still 'in touch' enough for him to feel comfortable enough to discuss all those kid worries with me that i never felt I could with my parents coz they were in their 40's by the time i started secondary school, and really had no idea about 'current issues' lol

Even most of his friends will come to me rather than their own parents if they have things they want to talk about, whether its just a simple does this top look ok with this skirt, or a boy tried to hold my hand, what shall i do? and they say its because i'm 'cool' and thier mum is old and hasn't got a clue!!

 

[LittleLady04]

I was like you, my parents were always on about education and careers. I met my dp a few weeks before I started to college, doing 5 A levels. I got pregnant with my dd1 5 months after starting college and I dropped out. I certainly do not regret it and now I look back and think "what was I thinking"??? I wasn't doing what I wanted, I was doing A levels because they wanted me too. I have since then had two more dd's. I will be 23 in November and I am going back to college next week to do the course I wanted to do all along.

I love my life and certainly do not regret having all my girls so young. I was 100% sure when I found out I was pg with dd1 that I wanted to keep her. My Dad was dead against me having her, but came round eventually and now she is the apple of his eye. They're best friends and spend loads of time together at weekends.

 

[aubreee]

just wanted to thank you ladies for this thread.
it's been really helpful to read all your comments.

i'm 24 and soooo broody and ready but oh isn't quite yet, so i still got some convincing to do

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I had my first a couple of weeks after my 16th birthday, at the time it obviously wasn't ideal! But now he's 11 and I'm still 'only' 27! I love it tbh, I'm yung enough and just about still 'in touch' enough for him to feel comfortable enough to discuss all those kid worries with me that i never felt I could with my parents coz they were in their 40's by the time i started secondary school, and really had no idea about 'current issues' lol

Even most of his friends will come to me rather than their own parents if they have things they want to talk about, whether its just a simple does this top look ok with this skirt, or a boy tried to hold my hand, what shall i do? and they say its because i'm 'cool' and thier mum is old and hasn't got a clue!!

hehe this is how I feel. I am 23 and one of my best friends is 39. This is the age gap between me and my son LOL. I think its lovely to be a young parent

 

[MummyToAmberx]

There isnt any regret over having my first baby.
Could have easily been soo different.

If i could have waited i would have done 100%.

 

[Laura2919]

I didnt plan to have Chloe and Jaycee so my answer would be no, someone up there obviously thought the best time for me to have kids was at that moment so it happened. I think at any age we could all say we would or could have done things better or differently but we didnt have kids then we had them when we did and thats that! I would love to have one more but there are a lot of things I want to see first. Like experience having two teenagers with attitudes and secrets before that lol!!

I was 22 when I had them and I will be 24 in less than 6 months and from then til now I dont think I have changed much... so no.. I dont regret it

 

[ZoeZuko]

Don't do it if you're having doubts. I'm 25 at the end of this year and I had my first child when I was 17. It wasn't intentional getting pregnant with her and although I have never regretted having her I would never have chosen to get pregnant at such a young age. It just happened and I dealt with it.

If you do it just because you think (or know) that it will be nice, or just to please your boyfriend when you are having very clear doubts then you will always think "what if?" and you could regret it and possibly resent.

You are right to want to wait and have some fun, you have plenty of time and don't forget you're still young at 30

Hey, im 17 and REALLY BROODY. Ive got 3 jobs and i attend college full-time. my mum had me at 17 and we'rereally close.. this may be the reason i want to start a family now. What should i do?!

 

[QuintinsMommy]

didn`t have to read what everyone said but im 20 and I have 8 month old, and I don`t regret it, i miss out on things but i gain sooo many!!
like I will be a young mom, and then I will be around to see my grandchildren and my mom gets to see all of quintins life,my mom is 47.

my aunt waited and waited to have kids and she had one at 40, she loves her son but she seems to already having health probls at 52 ,

 

[fluffyblue]

Im 38 and had my first son at 21, i dont regret him but i regret the fact i married his father and had to spend 7 years with him lol. It forced me to get married etc and that was a big mistake.

Do i wish I had waited - in a way yes, I had my daughter at 29 and am now expecting my 3rd at 38 and sooooooo looking forward to his arrival. Just feel like im more settled and better off now financially as well as emotionally.