Anybody's OH's work 60+ hours a week?

[MamaByrd]

How do you DEAL!?!! My OH is an EMT, and he works 6:00pm-7:00am, 5-7 days a week. I am getting so fed up with it I don't know how I can deal with it anymore. We constantly get in fights because he's always working & he's always tired so we go MONTHS without sex. I feel unwanted! He's only scheduled for 4 days a week, but he continously picks up 1-2 shifts a week.

How can I learn to accept this?

 

[witchkizzle]

Hey!

Sorry things are kind of strained between you right now.

Why does he feel the need to pick up those extra hours? Is it a "workaholic" mindset or could he be feeling financial pressure to maintain a certain level of lifestyle at home?

I guess the first option is just a personality trait he has and would be tough to do anything about. The second one, though, could be fixed relatively easily.

 

[vegazbaby]

know how you feel, my husband is self employed and he leaves between 5am and 6am most days and gets home between 6 and 7, sometimes its as late as 10pm , and also works away.

i dont mind the hours he works but it does upset me, if say he has a weekend off and he choses to spend it going to see his friends and not spend it with me, makes me wonder what the point in being married is.

sex is not frequent and i often have to wake him up off the sofa at the end of the evening,

but on the flip side, we have amazing holidays together, and a secure life

 

[MamaByrd]

I think he feels insecure that I make over double what he makes and I work 1/2 as much as he does. I tell him all the time that I don't caaaaare. Our roles as bread-winners is going to reverse many times over our relationship. He's working really hard & going to nursing school so he can't pitch in on the bills as much and I never complain!

 

[witchkizzle]

I'm sure that has a lot to do with it, then, and I'm sure he is trying to show you he can provide for you. I know a lot of women are very independent and don't want to be "taken care of", but that is a goal for a lot of guys. I can't say I wouldn't be doing the same thing in that situation.

I think he is just going to have to realize he is working for his future by finishing up his degree, and that this situation is only temporary. He will have to make that realization on his own, I'm sure. Just be sure to not rub it in that you make more, because that can put a big wedge in a relationship, whether you like it or not or think it should or not.

 

[JessPape]

My husband works any amount of hours needed from min 40+, he fixed heavy equipment (Tractors, Combines, Sprayers, Swathers, Semi trucks, you name it). So farming can put him to never being home, add in on call phone and there are weeks im lucky if I see him 10 hours a week haha. I loose my mind, but In the end hes the reason why I stay home.