Anyone 25+ with a long wait ahead of them?

[Amygdala]

Somehow I get the feeling that there's mostly "young" mums-to-be on here? Are there any of you in your late 20s that are still WTT for No. 1 and will be for a while?

I'm 26 and a postgraduate student at the moment so s will have to wait at least another 3 years but even then I don't know whether I'll have a job that will allow me to TTC. Mostly it's a problem with (lack of) maternity leave in my field and we just can't afford for me to not be working at all. Anyone in the same boat?

I feel like I'll be soooo old by the time I get around to No. 1 and then we want another two to follow. Have even considered just going for it now but in the end my reasonable side tells me it would be a bad idea. Or would it? Yes, it would, shut up biological clock!

Sorry, just needed to share my frustration...

 

[calm]

Well, I am 25+ (I am 32). Hope not to have to wait more than 2 years, and hopefully more like 6 months to 1 year WTT

In Spain, in general, must women have babies later. A lot to do with degrees, careers, jobs, not having a house, not being married etc, all this gets on top of people and 30 comes round sooner than you know it. Couples in their early twenties than get married and quickly have kids is not at all typical here, so no-one would think somebody thirty and a bit very old, quite the contrary.

If they are right or not? Well, always depends. In Spain people try to get "secure", and that means secure jobs, I know many a case of women that have been indirectly fired just because they got pregnant. Women today want to do more than sit at home with baby. (I for one was always ambitious doing my PhD and whatnot, but now, I would honestly swop everything just to TTC and have a baby, there you go, we want different things at different times)

The only problem is if you then have problems getting preggars. Many don't, but some do. Thats when they start to think if only they had started earlier, but that doesn't necessarily mean they would have had it easier and better. It's a hard call. I suppose if someone could assure you that come the time you would have no problems having a baby all would be easier.

And I know its hard. Hard when you see people 20 not much saying they are getting old, and on top already have their first baby. Makes us feel like dinosaurs! LOL (Us in our 30's).

With whatever you decide goodluck, and be calm. HUGS

 

[Catastrophe]

Well I'm not 25+ since I'm only 23 at the moment but my OH is about to start his PhD. I was hoping to do one to but it fell through.

Like you we wont be able to start ttc until have finished PhD and found work -minimum of four years probably including write-up. Seems like a very long time particularly as I think it might take me a while to get pregnant (since I can't penetrative sex that often -sorry if TMI).

I'm hoping that maybe once I get a job then I can throw myself into that for a bit and try not to obsess on how long I have to wait.

I hope to work in a lab so not sure how that would work if I got pregnant.

Good luck with your PhD =)

 

[newmummytobe]

hiya, i am 28 in july and taking my last pill tomorrow and then ttc 1st baby. very excited!!! probably not much help to you , but wanted to say hi! x

 

[Amygdala]

Aaaaaah good to know I'm not all alone.

Calm, I'm from Germany were things are very similiar to what you describe. But I've always had this idea of having my kids before I was 30, don't ask me why. I don't think I'd want to swap my PhD and work for having a family now but I agree, it's funny how priorities change. If 5 years ago you'd told me this would be such a big deal for me I would have laughed. But I guess there's no use in thinking about the "what if"s, you just have to go with the flow.

Catastrophe (what a name!), I sooo know what you're talking about. But you might find in a year or two that really things are going of with your job + OH's PhD so maybe it won't be as long as you think...

And newmummytobe, no, that doesn't help I'm excited for you though, good luck!

 

[bigbloomerz]

Hey hun, im 24 in August, but my OH is 35, so we are kinda rushing a bit I guess, I always said I wanted to be married by 20 and preggers by 22 lol, not quite worked out that way tho hehe, We are TTC in Sept and NTNP till then, I often worry about if it doesnt happen and OH being an "older" Daddy and things.
As you said its best to go with the flow, Ima family minded girl, always have been always will be, a career is something I never really wanted, I loved working but I didnt want it to go on forever
I saw the happiness my mum got from having children and want that too.
Only you know whats the best thing to do hun.
Best of luck for the future hun xx

 

[Catastrophe]

Well I thought that but OH is being stubborn and says I must wait til he has finished -still plenty of time for nagging/persuasion though eh?!

I don't think I could let myself get pregnant without him mostly agreeing as I'd spend most of my time worrying he would resent the LO. I'm trying to make a list of things I would like to do before I get pregnant and give myself some goals to concentrate on. It's not entirely working but hopefully it might once I have something more interesting than revision to occupy myself!

I guess we just have to remind ourselves that this way we will be able to be better providers for them and probably will have less financial worries because of it. One of the PhD students I know has left to have a baby and I don't think I could come back to studying after that if it was me.

Anyway even if it's 4yrs before you're able to ttc you will only be 30 and that's hardly ancient!

Cat x

P.S. the name suits me

 

[stargirl69]

I am 28. Really would like to ttc now but hubbie wants to wait until 30, but I've managed to convince him to bring this down to 29 - yay! It worries me that we are leaving it this late as not everyone gets pregnant straight away and we want more than one. However, we wanted to be in a position where we had space, maturity, enough money to not struggle, and both had good secure jobs before ttc, and for us that hasn't happened until now.

 

[kate.m.]

Hiya, im 25 & was all set to ttc august 2010, but have decided to have a complete career change. This will mean starting my training next year, and training for the next 2 years, which means i'll be very close to 29 when we start ttc. Id always wanted children at 25 or 26- but i really want this career change, so im thinking its best to do that first than try and do it whilst supporting/raising a family. It is frustrating tho. Sometimes i find myself thinking "surely it cant be that hard to retrain whilst having a tiny baby?! Why dont we just keep to august next year and see how it turns out?" lol. But im trying to be sensible!

 

[Jenren]

What career you going into Kate.m ?

 

[Hippietea]

I'm 30 and I'm having a bit of a crisis at the mo.
I've been fighting the demon broodiness for over two years now, and it has reached a point where nothing else makes any sense. I'm in my second year at uni and I recently suspended my studies due to stress. Now I've had some time out to think I'm not sure I want to continue. The thought of repeating this year again fills me with dread. My partner is from Slovakia, and he has always said that we both need a good income to have a family in the UK, so if I'm not successful with my studies we would move to Slovakia to have a family, as he would have a better job there than here. When I applied for uni I was desperate to get in as I hated the thought of going to Slovakia. But now I'm so stressed and tired, part of me wants to quit uni and make a new life in Slovakia. It seems a good place to bring up children, but we may have to live with the in laws for a while
If I carry on at uni it will be another three years at least before we would start TTC, and right now I'm sick of the subject I'm studying and don't feel I can go through it again.

 

[kate.m.]

What career you going into Kate.m ?

Im quitting teaching, and (hopefully- if i can find a placement) going to start training to become a vet nurse! Very excited about it!! It takes 2 years, so im going to wait untill ive finished training to ttc.

 

[kate.m.]

right now I'm sick of the subject I'm studying and don't feel I can go through it again.

This is what i was like. Go with your gut instinct. I kept listening to my head, and have now wasted 4 years at uni and 3 years working at a career i hate, and although im only 25, starting it all again just pushes everything else back even further. I came to the conclusion that id rather be happy and poor than rich and miserable! Best of luck with whatever you decide!

 

[Jenren]

So so true, id like to be an equestrian vet or vet nurse - but im 28 so hopefully after baby number 1.

 

[kate.m.]

I was tempted to stay teaching for a bit- just to get the decent maternity pay, but i figured "if im this stressed teaching before i have children- what would i be like teaching with a tiny baby?"

 

[Jenren]

Do you teach primary or Secondary ? Are you doing work based learning or college ?

 

[Hobnob]

Well I'm nearly 33 and hoping to start TTC baby #1 in December 09.

I've been broody for a number of years now

 

[kate.m.]

I teach primary, I did the 4 year primary ed degree- not the PGCE. Ive been qualified for 3 years now, and have had enough! Im one of those statistics that say "50% of nqts quit within 3 years!" For the vet nursing, thats if anyone will take me, i'll be doing 4 days at the vets and 1 day at college!

 

[kate.m.]

Well I'm nearly 33 and hoping to start TTC baby #1 in December 09.

I've been broody for a number of years now

Best of luck to you!
(so jealous!!! )

 

[buttonnose82]

i'm 26 (for now!) and have to wait a year before I can start TTC