Anyone cheated on when pregnant?

[Jennifurball]

I am 95% certain I was.

I just remembered one night we were at a friends house, I was about 30 weeks pregnant I think and he was drunkenly telling a story about a woman his 'mate' met at work but he had so much detail about it, basically they were door to door salesman and his 'mate' got invited in, they kissed then he went back later for sex, but ex was saying 'oh she was a right dirty bitch' and I questioned him then saying how do you know, and he said 'it was what he told me'.

I don't know why this is now on my mind but I am convinced he did it and not his mate. We didn't live together then so I wouldn't have known what he was up to.

I feel sick thinking about it. How do I deal with it and how do I block it out? How can a man do that to his pregnant gf?

 

[Jade--x]

I was. With his ex girlfriend. Not to mention the girl he rang me and told me his friend had encouraged him to sleep with behind my back, and the 2 others he told me he was seeing that were ready to be step mum to my baby and couldn't wait - All whilst I was so ill I was in hospital every other week - While he was messing with my head wanting me to take him back - I ended it quite early on for soooo many reasons I needed space from him he was screwing my head up intentionally all the time (plus alot more than that) - I didn't get it I was harrassed for months on end.

The best thing to do is add it to the reasons you're lucky you're not with him anymore x

 

[Jennifurball]

OMG sorry to hear what happened to you.

You are right, another reason to confirm I did the right thing leaving. x

 

[Jade--x]

You did I don't believe cheaters ever change, have you ever thought about counselling? Someone you can just tell everything running through your mind to and not feel judged? Maybe if you're able to get it all out you can finally start to move on and heal? If not maybe just writing it all down in like a personal blog or diary? I found holding everything in made everything 100% worse for me and it wasn't until I told people what had actually happened I started to feel strong enough to be me again x

 

[Jennifurball]

That's a good idea. I don't really talk about him or the split to anyone because all my family and friends hate him and think it's fantastic that we are no longer together but they forget it still hurts - I do need to talk to someone who doesn't know him and can help.

 

[Jade--x]

I know your GP can refer you places but I think they only do that if abuse was involved but there's places like womens centres where you can self refer, I'm not sure whether or not they charge you so much per session though, I was told some of them have funding for it so it's free but with all the funding cuts no one knows whether they still get them or not. I do hope it helps though x

 

[gracexxx]

I'm almost certain I was, we moved in together when I was 5 months pregnant. He was always finishing work suspiciously late, going out for loads of different reasons like 'to pop to the shop' and would be gone hours. I was almost certain he was cheating. Then someone told me they'd seen him going to this girls house several times, but I refused to believe it, or I was just in denial. Like you said how can a man cheat on his pregnant gf? Anyway he left me when I was 7 months pregnant, and got with this same girl VERY soon after, like days.... That confirms it for me ... What a deadbeat.

 

[Dream.dream]

I was twice , once was with a 14 year old girl and he was almost 19 which made me absolutely sick .

 

[daniandbaby]

I was and the woman was a older woman desperate to take my 'family' away, she completely harrased and stalked me... Hence y im a single mum and pregnant and hes living in a shit hole alone, begging for forgivness

 

[Kate&Lucas]

I was, several times over. He struck up a relationship with a lass (who looked just like me ) two weeks after we found out I was pg, that lasted until after Lucas was born. Granted, that probably wasn't the worst thing he did while I was pregnant - he seemed to punish me for daring to fall pregnant to him despite his assertions he was infertile. There were, by most accounts, many women over the course of 10 months or more (that I knew of), he also had dating profiles. I took him back a few times but after several chances he refused to acknowledge the fact he was seeing someone else, even though I knew her name, number and what she looked like. He wouldn't leave me for her because he didn't want to be the bad guy, so I had to either put up with it or leave. He's still with her AFAIK, and still denies she exists - despite Lucas picking her out in photographs and talking about her

I've gone back and forth since leaving him over whether it was the right thing to do, whether I should ask him to get back together for Lucas' sake - but ultimately, while he is a good Dad and Lucas adores him, I'm glad he's not here 24/7 because I don't want the influence of a man who could have so little respect for his partner and unborn child to rub off on my son.

I can't fathom why anyone would want to be out shagging around while their partner is at home, growing their baby. And it's a shame, because this wonderful life is offered to these men on a plate and they can throw it all away for a meaningless shag (or several, in my case).
If I ever found Lucas acting this way when he becomes a Dad, I'd honestly beat the living shit out of him. I just hope every day I'm raising him better than that.

 

[lemontree12]

I was, he used his work as an excuse until he got seriously with her, the moment I found that out I would never take him back, it don't bother me any more, it takes time.

 

[Jade--x]

I don't understand why anyone cheats full stop..Pregnant or not It's definitely worse when you've got someone pregnant though.

 

[davidjoemum]

i was and im glad i can get this out of my chest now here as non of my friends knows details its just i feel to embarrassed to share with them.
i was 12 weeks pregnant with my first baby and i had bleeding so i thought that im loosing my baby.i was on my own at home so i drove myself to hospital they checked me and send me home and asked to come next day for scan.while in hospital i phoned him(he was at work he was working in west end theatre) he said to go back home and rest he will be back later after he will finish his job so i did he came back and i was very sad because i thought im having miscarriage.he came back very late(way late that his job was finishing saying that he gone with work mates)like WTF im here waiting for him crying my heart out i dont know if my baby is even still alive and was like oh dont worry im sure u be fine and baby will be ok blah blah....but i was really upset(u girls can imagine can you?)and i kept constantly crying and he was like f... hell calm down u dont know anything yet u will go for scan and then u know whats going on blah blah!!!!he never spoke to me like that before at least when its comes to health issue.next day my scan was at 12.30 and he started his work in the afternoon at 4 pm so i ask him will he go with me and he said no he want to sleep longer so i said ok i'll go by myself.i came back home an hour later(baby was fine!!!!he is 20 months now!)and he was still in bed i went to the kitchen and his phone was there(i use to love playing angry birds on his phone)so i sat and started playing but i look through calls history and i saw call to TRACEY at 12.20.i went to ask him who that was and why he called someone and he said its his friend from work i ask him if he gone out lastnight with her and he said yes she was there too so why u called her i asked and he said "i dont know just to see how she was".ok i said and ignored.but i memorized her number and i knew something was wrong.i kept nagging him to admit if he was cheated on me with her he kept denying.i called her that evening i ask her did she know him and is she aware that im his girlfriend and im 3 months pregnant she said no she didnt know about me.i ask her if something went on between them and she said no so i said bye thanx for chat and end conversation.next day he went to work early and i was still on sick leave.i went on computer and his email was open i didnt saw nothing suspisious there.i wanted to log in to my FB but his came up(he forgot to log of)i went to the inbox and i saw message from her saying"im sorry dont think wrong with me but i usually dont have sex on first date that was mistake and i didnt know u got girlfriend who is pregnant we should not meet again i dont want to ruin your family"i called her shouting that she ruined us already and i know about their date!she only said sorry.i called him (but she's been first so he knew from her i already know)i said to him to stay in his dad or hers to the day i move out.next day i went to local council (i had to get place to live he owns the flat we were living)told them what happened they offer me help with deposit next week i had my own place to live.sitting and thinking he was having sex with her when i had bleeding and he was calling her instead to go for scan with me to see if his son is OK i felt like the world biggest fool and all pregnancy classes and midwife appointments were depressing seeing all them pregnant ladies with their partners and I was always on my own i was always crying after all these appointments in my car. i didnt saw him since up to before my due date he called asking how i am but i was cold and distant i struggled financially and emotionally when being on my own and i had more downs than ups but i do not regret leaving.me leaving made him look bad and make him realize that he destroy our family,but closer to my due date we started talking again and. ......i gave him one more chance for my sons sake. we both decide to move on from this and start over we sold his flat and bought a house in different town new place new start i do love him dearly and i know he love me his explanation was confusion scare and big responsibility i do not trust him 100% anymore but he knows if it happened again im gone with kids i do not regret giving him second chance because we had another baby when my son was 1 year old and i can see he changed and he is the best dad to our kids.is still hurting me inside and i never forget how he hurt me and ignored my son sometimes still throwing this in his face i forgave but i'll never forget.sometimes looking at my son i feel angry at him again how he could just put some girl in front of my son this little child went through the hell as I did every tear i shed all anger and sorrow I felt he felt too.im sitting here typing this now and crying again pain is still there i do love him but he hurt me so bad sometimes im thinking that it will be the best for me to leave him but now he is not giving me reasons to leave he is good partner and amazing father.but i will go with my kids if this is happend again even if im pregnant or not.
sorry for novel but im glad i could get of my chest(sorry for grammar crying while typing)
thank you.

 

[ZombieQueen]

Mine did. It may not have been sex, but he had condoms (which he bought ON my birthday when he left me home alone until 5 a.m. while I was 7 months pregnant) and the INTENT to do it, thinking SOBER, planning ahead.. is worse in my mind than if he would have had an 'accident' but my FOB isn't even remorseful.. Simply says he was unhappy and didn't want to be with me.. Asshole..

I think about it sometimes because trying to force it out of my mind only stresses me out, makes me feel sick and worse over it all. I feel guilty for thinking about it when I'm trying not to. So instead I think about it here and there, don't get too obsessive over it, but like if I'm laying in bed and can't sleep and it comes into my mind, I just kind of think about how sucky it was, how hurt I felt, but try to change my thoughts after that.. It's helped a lot, I don't feel sick to my stomach as much anymore, I'm happier now.. It took about 7 months to get to where I am and I still have a long road to recovery, but it's just one step at a time.. Don't tell yourself NOT to think about it, but don't obsess over it and spend longer than 5-10 minutes thinking about it.

 

[davidjoemum]

Mine did. It may not have been sex, but he had condoms (which he bought ON my birthday when he left me home alone until 5 a.m. while I was 7 months pregnant) and the INTENT to do it, thinking SOBER, planning ahead.. is worse in my mind than if he would have had an 'accident' but my FOB isn't even remorseful.. Simply says he was unhappy and didn't want to be with me.. Asshole..

I think about it sometimes because trying to force it out of my mind only stresses me out, makes me feel sick and worse over it all. I feel guilty for thinking about it when I'm trying not to. So instead I think about it here and there, don't get too obsessive over it, but like if I'm laying in bed and can't sleep and it comes into my mind, I just kind of think about how sucky it was, how hurt I felt, but try to change my thoughts after that.. It's helped a lot, I don't feel sick to my stomach as much anymore, I'm happier now.. It took about 7 months to get to where I am and I still have a long road to recovery, but it's just one step at a time.. Don't tell yourself NOT to think about it, but don't obsess over it and spend longer than 5-10 minutes thinking about it.

i totally agree with you.
i love my OH very much but i do feel unhappy sometimes mainly because i know he did it and neglected me when i needed him in the most scary moment of my life(fear of having miscarriage) but i do want my kids to have full family like i never had i think i need to see therapist or something.

 

[ZombieQueen]

It's horrible that men can do that.. its sick. My husband wanted to get out of going to drill and I had been having bad cramping all day, but didn't intend to go to the doctor about it, but he convinced me so that he wouldn't have to go to drill, we would have a doctors note as to why he missed... Turns out while I was in there getting poked and prodded (the nurse was ROUGH with my cervix) for him, he had actually wanted to get out of drill to see this girl... I was disgusted.. or how he blew off my 3D ultrasound to spend a night sticking his tongue down that girls throat..

Idk I tried to forgive and look past it so we could keep our family together, and I would have forgiven him (with the help of therapy and couples councilling) but he chose his new girlfriend over baby and me. So I threw forgiveness to the wind and I'm pissed as all fuck. Taking full custody and every dime I can get from his sorry ass. But if your OH is willing to try, I do recommend therapy or councilling so you can let go of resentment, rebuild trust and have a healthy relationship. Because sometimes, a broken family is better for the children than a dysfunctional resentful family.

 

[rebeccaalice]

I was! While planning our wedding and our 2nd child (am 4 days over due now) as soon as I found out i kicked him out and got on with my life with my son and being pregnant! He did all the begging phoning me when drunk at 2 am telling me how he loves me n misses me n this women means nothing n he don't love her despite being in a relationship with her n coz I wouldn't take him back (from the day i found out i never told him i loved him or missed him) said he would learn to love her pahaha what a catch she got there! She is either desperate or plain stupid! But they deserve each other a home wrecker as she knew he was with me n we had a child! And a pathetic liar who doesn't bother with his child hasn't seen him in 3 months! But provides everything for her 2 kids and has said he will only be giving me £20 extra when lil one is born!

 

[davidjoemum]

I was! While planning our wedding and our 2nd child (am 4 days over due now) as soon as I found out i kicked him out and got on with my life with my son and being pregnant! He did all the begging phoning me when drunk at 2 am telling me how he loves me n misses me n this women means nothing n he don't love her despite being in a relationship with her n coz I wouldn't take him back (from the day i found out i never told him i loved him or missed him) said he would learn to love her pahaha what a catch she got there! She is either desperate or plain stupid! But they deserve each other a home wrecker as she knew he was with me n we had a child! And a pathetic liar who doesn't bother with his child hasn't seen him in 3 months! But provides everything for her 2 kids and has said he will only be giving me £20 extra when lil one is born!

Omg!!! I'm sorry what you went through!what a Basta.d get him to court to pay you more than that!u deserve and so your kids how can he provide for someone else kids not his own!!!

 

[rebeccaalice]

I was! While planning our wedding and our 2nd child (am 4 days over due now) as soon as I found out i kicked him out and got on with my life with my son and being pregnant! He did all the begging phoning me when drunk at 2 am telling me how he loves me n misses me n this women means nothing n he don't love her despite being in a relationship with her n coz I wouldn't take him back (from the day i found out i never told him i loved him or missed him) said he would learn to love her pahaha what a catch she got there! She is either desperate or plain stupid! But they deserve each other a home wrecker as she knew he was with me n we had a child! And a pathetic liar who doesn't bother with his child hasn't seen him in 3 months! But provides everything for her 2 kids and has said he will only be giving me £20 extra when lil one is born!

Omg!!! I'm sorry what you went through!what a Basta.d get him to court to pay you more than that!u deserve and so your kids how can he provide for someone else kids not his own!!!

Am most probs gonna get the csa to do the money once I've popped as he keeps saying he is going to change his job so then I won't have to deal with him he can do it direct through them he has said I will get less and should be grateful for what I get as now he lives with her n her 2 kids (we decided how much between us b4 he moved in with her) his wages gets deducted as he
has 2 kids living with him (they are not his) which I think is ridiculous if they were his I would understand and accept that but if it is by household then her wages should be accounted if her kids are! They are the same % as his own kids 20% gets taken off for her kids as they live with him then I can get 20% of whatever is left

 

[lita emianita]

i dont know why, but im feel so angry with that guy..