MommyJogger
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We finally got a dating scan yesterday since this pregnancy is coming directly off of a miscarriage. Thought I was close to 9 weeks. I've felt so shitty the past couple of weeks I've been counting down the days until first tri is over. The scan put me at 6.5 weeks instead. 
That feels like an eternity right now.
I'm so ill and cry-ey and angry all the time. I blew up at a wal-mart cashier yesterday. Just a little old lady, but she literally had a 20 minute conversation with the people ahead of me after they had finished checking out. I just had a single pear and stood there with my pear on the conveyor getting angrier and angrier until I just exploded with "Scan the pear or I'm going to die. You can keep talking, just scan the pear." I wanted to just throw the pear at her stupid face for wasting my time talking about whether some mutual friend's daughter dyes her hair or not (her hair is apparently purple and it was an actual debate as to whether the chick dyes her hair). By the time I paid for the pear I couldn't even stand to look at the fucking thing much less put it near my mouth. I had a fucking fig newton for dinner and then stayed up all night scratching my stupid itchy skin and wishing I could hurl so that I could then eat.
And my stupid husband (who's actually been really lovely and fantastic, especially lately) just couldn't make a dinner that didn't smell. I can still smell artichokes in the living room this morning.
And then I burst into tears because I'm so ungrateful because my DH is fantastic, my DS is perfect, and I'm just a grisly little bridge troll right now who wants to rid the world of pears and artichokes.
That feels like an eternity right now. I'm so ill and cry-ey and angry all the time. I blew up at a wal-mart cashier yesterday. Just a little old lady, but she literally had a 20 minute conversation with the people ahead of me after they had finished checking out. I just had a single pear and stood there with my pear on the conveyor getting angrier and angrier until I just exploded with "Scan the pear or I'm going to die. You can keep talking, just scan the pear." I wanted to just throw the pear at her stupid face for wasting my time talking about whether some mutual friend's daughter dyes her hair or not (her hair is apparently purple and it was an actual debate as to whether the chick dyes her hair). By the time I paid for the pear I couldn't even stand to look at the fucking thing much less put it near my mouth. I had a fucking fig newton for dinner and then stayed up all night scratching my stupid itchy skin and wishing I could hurl so that I could then eat.
And my stupid husband (who's actually been really lovely and fantastic, especially lately) just couldn't make a dinner that didn't smell. I can still smell artichokes in the living room this morning.
And then I burst into tears because I'm so ungrateful because my DH is fantastic, my DS is perfect, and I'm just a grisly little bridge troll right now who wants to rid the world of pears and artichokes.
TOTALLY understand. I had a REALLY. BAD. DAY. like that myself. Go gentle on yourself, and realize you are going through a lot right now, you're just not gonna be at the top of your game or Mother Teresa and it's okay. There is a reason why pregnant women in ancient cultures were given space and peaceful solitude while they incubate!! Too bad our society doesn't accommodate us like that! Pregnant women are dealing with some VERY primal and powerful energies. I would see if you can find a way to be alone and by yourself for a day or two, it really helps me to be alone right now, might help you too.
