Anyone else feel this way?

Discussion in 'Long Term Trying To Conceive' started by Angel022605, Mar 8, 2020.

  1. Angel022605

    Angel022605 5K fun

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    Had a break down between yesterday and today. Found out last night my brother and his wife are expecting their first child after coming off BC back in the summer. While I am happy for them I’m also deeply depressed it’s not me and DH making that announcement. We have been TTC our first little one since 2015. Been to a fertility clinic and his sperm is so low our only chance according to the Dr is IVF($$). While we’re happy for my brother and his wife and congratulated them we still hurt. I’ve seen physical tears fall from his face as he cried out to the Higher Power “why”. I too cried physical tears of pain and heartache to the Higher Power “why”. DH is 36 and I’ll be 36 in July. We have lack of faith in the Higher Power. We feel like no one is listening. We feel it’s unfair that people can get pregnant while drinking or on drugs. We don’t under why people get pregnant to turn around and either sexually abuse children or physically abuse them or mentally and emotionally abuse them. Us trying for so many years only to have BFN every time hurts. It brings on depression really bad to the point he looses interest in general foreplay. There was one point one month he didn’t even want to just make out with me because he knew it’d leave to sex and he was too depressed for sex. I only wanted making out. This hurt me. I cried myself to sleep many nights. We’re deeply depressed. Hurting. Would love to chat with someone who has been in our shoes. Much hugs and encouragement needed. Thanks for listening.
     
  2. Angel022605

    Angel022605 5K fun

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    Any words of encouragement? Anyone ever experience this?
     
  3. jsquared

    jsquared Well-Known Member

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    I get it. ❤️

    My story is a bit different—we are a two mom family and always knew we’d need help, but it took a LONG time and it was excruciating to watch other people (also using fertility treatments) conceive before we did. I am so sorry you’re going through this. It absolutely sucks and you are totally normal for feeling the way that you do. xo
     
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  4. Angel022605

    Angel022605 5K fun

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    Thank you for sharing
     
  5. Angel022605

    Angel022605 5K fun

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    Anyone else have anything they wanna share? Good, bad, in-between? Any prayers or positive thoughts/vibes always welcome.
     
  6. mimi4

    mimi4 Well-Known Member

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    I am sorry to know your story, sending positive vibes x
     
  7. hairftsher

    hairftsher Well-Known Member

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    While I have not been in your situation, & am fortunate enough to have been blessed with one child I understand how hard it is to be happy for someone's baby news & also deeply upset by it.
    I wish I had some good advice for you, I wish it got easier... but just know that it is okay to feel the way you feel, & don't deny your emotions.


    Goodluck xx
     
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  8. KatieCub

    KatieCub Member

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    Hey Angel,

    Sorry to hear you and you're husband are struggling and losing faith. I can say with all my heart I get it and I understand. My partner and I too have been trying for 5 years. In that time we've had 2 miscarriages, I do have PCOS with irregular periods and ovulation so complicates the TTC lark just that bit further. Regardless of the reasons behind fertility struggles it's a heartbreakingly familiar story for alot of people.

    I know for sure it's easier said than done but please be kind and patience with yourselves and each other. Its perfectly normal for you to feel mixed emotions about your brother and SIL announcing the news. (I dread announcements even though most of the time I am genuinely happy for the people/person).

    Family all too often don't understand and make comments they think are positive like 'it'll be you next' or 'we're waiting for you now'! I get that they mean well but st the same time is nfuriating when we know we're doing everything in our power to make that our reality.

    I know also what you mean when you get upset about people who find it 'easy' to get pregnant. Those who drink or do drugs and it just happens for them without even trying. It angers me too and I feel for the children especially when they're not wanted or loved. I just try to think because I'm having to wait so much longer than alot of people I'll love my little one ever more when they arrive because I tried so hard and for so long to have them.

    Please feel free to message me. Even if it's just to get things off your chest. You're not alone in this xxxxxx

    :dust:
     
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  9. Angel022605

    Angel022605 5K fun

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    Thanks so much for your reply. It’s good to hear I’m not alone. May have said it in my post but he has low sperm.
     
  10. sunflower7sd

    sunflower7sd Well-Known Member

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    Although I have not experienced your exact position. I know depression and marital emotional issues.

    I'm so sorry it's such a heartbreaking heartache right now. Just such a low time.

    I just want the two of you to reconnect. Sending love, and praying for you.

    Hugs.

    PS. God is faithful!
     

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