Had a break down between yesterday and today. Found out last night my brother and his wife are expecting their first child after coming off BC back in the summer. While I am happy for them I’m also deeply depressed it’s not me and DH making that announcement. We have been TTC our first little one since 2015. Been to a fertility clinic and his sperm is so low our only chance according to the Dr is IVF($$). While we’re happy for my brother and his wife and congratulated them we still hurt. I’ve seen physical tears fall from his face as he cried out to the Higher Power “why”. I too cried physical tears of pain and heartache to the Higher Power “why”. DH is 36 and I’ll be 36 in July. We have lack of faith in the Higher Power. We feel like no one is listening. We feel it’s unfair that people can get pregnant while drinking or on drugs. We don’t under why people get pregnant to turn around and either sexually abuse children or physically abuse them or mentally and emotionally abuse them. Us trying for so many years only to have BFN every time hurts. It brings on depression really bad to the point he looses interest in general foreplay. There was one point one month he didn’t even want to just make out with me because he knew it’d leave to sex and he was too depressed for sex. I only wanted making out. This hurt me. I cried myself to sleep many nights. We’re deeply depressed. Hurting. Would love to chat with someone who has been in our shoes. Much hugs and encouragement needed. Thanks for listening.