Anyone else have a DH or OH who can't make up their mind?

[CowgirlBaby]

Alright so right now it is 4:41am. My poor DH is getting ready to go to work (we got married yesterday and the poor thing is exhausted but no one would take his shift cause the people he works with are jerks). At any rate my DH is very confusing and can't seem to make up his mind. Originally he wanted to wait for quite a while, and then he changed his mind to Feb of 2017, and then he said because I was starting up a business we should wait till 2019, then we made a compromise that we would try in 2017 and if we didn't concieve, we would try 2018 and ect. (He has a very specific time of year generally that he wants to try in because he wants a baby between our birthdays.) At any rate we got married yesterday and everything was fine, when his alarm went off this morning the first thing he did of course was shut it off and then he rolled over cuddled up and whispered "I think we should try sooner." It's like come on, I love you but make up your darned mind. Don't get my hopes up. I asked him how soon and he potentially thinking like next month or December. Which is awesome if he wants to try sooner. I don't want to get my hopes up again in case he changes his mind again.


Anyone else have a DH or OH who can't seem to make up their mind about TTC?

 

[LucyLadyBug]

That sounds difficult - if he does want to try sooner and it's what you want too then that's awesome, but the fact he keeps going back and forth seems a bit of a red flag to me. It would be pretty unfair for him to get your hopes up and as Nov/Dec rolls around for him to then back away from the subject back to a 2018 date.

Maybe try having an honest conversation with him and together lay all the pros and cons of TTC on the table and give him a chance to communicate his feelings/internal concerns he has that may be a root cause for constantly going back and forth on a date? Hopefully giving you both a mutual date to work towards together at the end, rather than you waiting on him to give the green light?

 

[CowgirlBaby]

We've had an honest conversation about it originally it was feb of 2017 because he wanted to try and then he wanted to push it back only because I just started my business so he was worried it would be too busy or stressful to be running a growing business and TTC or being pg during the first year of my business and now I think he is wanting to try sooner because we are actually now married so when he comes home I will have an honest conversation with him again. We'll see what happens

 

[Needabun]

First of all, Congrats on being a newly wed!!! And OMG YESSSSS!!! My DH, my DDH lol he is so much like this so I definitely feel you when you say you dont wanna get your hopes up. However my DH has always been ok with NTNP but he still always switches it up and wants to actually TTC (like as soon as I ovulate) but then when we are intimate he doesnt go thru with it. I just think he wants to be 100% sure that we're both ready before he makes a definite move. But LucyLadyBugs right, the next time he says you guys should try sooner, STOP, look him in the eyes, and tell him No bullshit, I need to know that your're serious because your playing with my emotions here lol, like are you ready to mark the day on the calendar. Hopefully he'll say yes and the both of you can move on to TTC YAYYY!!! Good luck

 

[CowgirlBaby]

First of all, Congrats on being a newly wed!!! And OMG YESSSSS!!! My DH, my DDH lol he is so much like this so I definitely feel you when you say you dont wanna get your hopes up. However my DH has always been ok with NTNP but he still always switches it up and wants to actually TTC (like as soon as I ovulate) but then when we are intimate he doesnt go thru with it. I just think he wants to be 100% sure that we're both ready before he makes a definite move. But LucyLadyBugs right, the next time he says you guys should try sooner, STOP, look him in the eyes, and tell him No bullshit, I need to know that your're serious because your playing with my emotions here lol, like are you ready to mark the day on the calendar. Hopefully he'll say yes and the both of you can move on to TTC YAYYY!!! Good luck

Mine would be okay with NTNP as well, but I want to find out what he is thinking before I go back on birth control. I don'twant to just go back and him come out and say. "Okay I'm ready."because then it takes 13-14 weeks for my birth control to wear off. He comes home today so I am going to sit him down and say okay let's figure out a day.

Thanks for the good luck! And It's a lot different being a newly wed lol, there are subtle differences lol.

 

[Needabun]

Great idea. And do you really think so?? It feels completely the same to me. But then again when me and my DH met for the first time we both felt so familiar with eachother like we met in another life lol. So the the way it felt back then is the exact same way it feels now... I just love him more each day!!!

 

[CowgirlBaby]

Well there are only subtle differences, because I'm not used to him calling me Mrs. especially when we play games online together. My gamer tag has always been "TheAdorkableNerd" and so instead of calling me AdorkableNerd or Just nerd he calls me "Mrs. nerd"

 

[Needabun]

Awww thats so cute though. My DH and I are big nerds too

 

[CowgirlBaby]

I love him and his nerdiness. At any rate DH and I had a serious chat about it today. We are going to start our TTC journey November. 18th of this year. It has been decided and has been marked down on the calendar

 

[Needabun]

OMG!!! Thats so excited, lucky you. Lots of baby dust to you and Good Luck!!!

 

[CowgirlBaby]

Thanks! i am super excited and as well going to get as much horse back riding in between now and the 18th. I've been told by my mom and by my DH that they aren't going to let me ride well pregnant xD

 

[Needabun]

Awww sounds like you have a wonderful family!!