Anyone else having/had a small wedding?

[phoenix333]

DF and I live together, have a baby together and are committed to each other for life anyway, but at Christmas he "officially" proposed. I feel absolutely no desire for a huge (and expensive) wedding. I would be perfectly happy with a guest list of under 10 including us, but we have compromised and decided on a maximum of 30 of the closest people. No disco,fireworks, doves etc...... just a nice ceremony and a lovely meal for everyone afterwards.

We both feel really happy with our choice, it should mean no drama, no stress and spending the day with people who won't miss all the extravagant stuff and (hopefully) will just be happy to be there and have fun. It also means we will be able to save some money and go on an amazing honeymoon afterwards

However, I keep being reminded about all the people I'm not inviting and how "hurt" they will be. Even though the people we haven't invited we never usually even see/speak to - cousins, aunts, uncles and old friends who live hundreds of miles away. I'm trying to hold my ground and stay firm but I feel like I'm being selfish and bridezilla-ish for saying I don't want them to come. I know it's our day but all the same, I don't want people to hate me forever if I don't invite them.

Has any/is anyone having a small wedding? How did you/do you deal with other peoples expectations on who you should invite? Those of you who had small weddings, are people who weren't invited still offended now?

 

[LoraLoo]

We had a smallish wedding, about 45 adults i think (plus about 30 children ) I invited who I wanted, but it was fairly easy for me as nobody knew we were getting married, they all turned up for our LO's christening and....suprise

Dont bother about what anyone else thinks or says, dont lose sight of the fact its YOUR day. We had anamazing day, it was so relaxed, there were no seat settings, everyone already knew each other and just mingled and everyone said what a fantastic day they had x

 

[LeoTheLion]

We will only be having a small wedding. A registry ceremony with close family & friends then a meal at our local country pub followed by a night do with a buffet for more friends & family to join in

 

[Mummy May]

Yeah I've invited 50 to my wedding (thats with OH's friends +1's so I bet I can get more off) basically I don't care who is upset about not coming, its our day and were having the people we want there with us. Watch out for MIL though, its a common thought of theirs to think you have spare places for people they want to invite!! xx

 

[CantHrdlyWait]

We are! We are having our wedding in an over look in a park. Cost of $50 to rent it. We are inviting about 30 people. Parents, Grandparents, Siblings and one Aunt and our CLOSEST friends. That's it. Afterwards we are having a picnic style reception at my grandfathers house. We are leaving that night to go on our honeymoon. It will cheap, and intimate, and that's how we want it. We just can't invite everyone and so far we've been able to skirt the questions. We are also getting married at 11am on a friday, so this will likely make the "friends" think twice because they'd have to take off work.

 

[snuggles21]

we're only having a small wedding (23 including me and oh) we're getting married at 3pm in church then having a meal afterwards. mother in law tried getting a few extra guests in and i just told her out right that we couldn't afford it as it never stops - if she invites people then my mum will want to invite people etc. if people want to come to the church and see us get married then they can but not inviting anymore to the meal.

 

[Hollynesss]

My wedding is going to be small, about 50 people. We sort of got carried away with the budget, but since my fiance and I are both the first in our families to get married, it meant a lot to our parents to have a traditional ceremony and reception, so we ended up booking it at a nice hotel (although we got a REALLY good deal, who can say no to 3 FREE hours of open bar?!). I understand completely how difficult it is to pick and choose who you want to come, we actually fell into the same boat of not inviting distant relations that we hardly ever speak to.

The other girls here are absolutely right, it is YOUR day, and the only right way to do it is to do what will make the two of you happiest

 

[lovelylaura]

There's only 25 at my wedding including kids! We don't need to spend a fortune for people to know we love each other we want it simple & stress free. We already feel married so it just feels like a formality don't let anyone change your mind on what you want x

 

[katherinegrey]

I wanted to have a small wedding, but after I sat down with my parents and DF's parents to see who I absolutely HAD to invite, the list ended up being around 80, with DF still wanting to invite more! We only have a small budget so now we can't afford a proper meal for everyone and can only have an evening reception and a later in the day wedding.

 

[LynAnne]

I want a small wedding (about 40) that includes our closest family and each of our two best friends and partners. If we have to pay for it I don't see why we need to start inviting all the extended family that we only see on rare occasions. We don't even have the money for our small wedding yet, let alone to do a big day with everyone there. We may invite a few more people to the evening reception though. Unless someone else is going to foot the bill I think it should be mine and OH's decision.

I say do it your way. Have as many or few people as you want. After all, it's meant to be your special day.

 

[Miss_Quirky]

We are having an incredibly small wedding, as in our best friends will be there. Our families have been promised a reception brunch after, sort of a BBQ to celebrate. I bought a nice dress, but we feel no need for a big ceremony of any kind.