Anyone else in denial about the whole over 35 thing?

[Wabblit]

Am I not the only one who's been in denial about being over 35 who thought it was going to be really easy conceiving?

I'm 37 and been trying since April following a mc. You spend all those years preventing pregnancy and now it's a bit of a wake up call that it's a lot damn harder than you ever thought it would be!!

 

[Milty]

I had trouble in my twenties so I ready or used to it. It was shocking at first when I didn't get pg right away. Now I wonder why I even bothered with the pill before.

 

[readyformore]

I'm with Milty.
I had trouble in my twenties as well, so it's obviously not completely age related for me.

Even with that history, I still didn't think I'd be waiting to get pregnant 16 months later.

 

[Jennifer01]

I know my oh and I used to get soooo worried about "botched" birth control...what a joke that was lol all along we didn't need it!!! I was surprised by my secondary infertility, had I known I would have started sooner-wedding or not!

 

[Mammatotwo]

I know, I have not been on birth control since DD1. I think after we are done why bother with birth control, but knowing my luck when I am not trying I will fall the first month.
Never knew getting pregnant would be so tricky, time consuming and planned/charted/studied for best days etc.
Also just in denial that I could be 35 already, how did that happen.

 

[peacebaby]

@ Jennifer01 couldn't have said it better myself!

I thought this was going to be walk in the park...1 yr and an MC later reality bites!

now I just think all that effort to make sure we had some method of BC in place "just until we're ready" = waste!

I wish someone had told me that the body needs at least 3 months to grow healthy reproductive goods and a million other things need to be just right! I remember when I had the IUD removed for the start of TTC, the nurse made it sound like it would happen in 1 magical go! Bleh!

the first time I came to BnB and read some posts about ladies having issues...at the back of my naive mind I had the thought "thankfully I don't have that problem" shock :-O horror

there should be some international awareness campaign,don't you think? Lol

as for being 35+...how exactly did I get here? it was supposed to take much longer, must be a conspiracy.

 

[Jennifer01]

Remember when you thought 35 was ancient?!? I also remember saying I would be done having my 3 kids (ha!) by the time I was 30 (double ha!!)

 

[readyformore]

Remember when you thought 35 was ancient?!? I also remember saying I would be done having my 3 kids (ha!) by the time I was 30 (double ha!!)

I never had an age limit of when I felt I needed to be done. This could be b/c I knew growing up that my grandma had my aunt and uncle when she was 43 and 45.

But, I do remember very well, when I heard that Advanced Maternal Age was 35. I was 20 and in nursing school. I was shocked! It seemed way too young to me! I believe I talked about it all day.

 

[hockey24]

I don't think our regular gynos help either. I remember asking mine several times, I'm starting to get older - do you think I should be concerned about infertility later? Oh no, they would say - you've always been healthy with no issues, you won't have a problem!

I think until everyone is really honest with their conception problems, people will always think getting pregnant will not be hard. I'm also guilty of saying - but look at all these celebrities who are 40 having babies! Well, it wasn't easy for them either!

 

[Sus09]

Yes,I thought getting pregnant would be easy as well, and i was totally in denial as i has problems when i was younger as well.

Over here they say women in thaeir 30s are geriatric mothers. What? How rude? Doctors saying that!

 

[Natsby]

I agree with Ready younger people have a hard time too, two of my friends are 5 and 10 years younger than me and both have been trying for 3 and 4 years. It is such a matter of luck too, first try I got bfp first cycle, lost it tried for 7 months, bfp... lost it. Now we have been at it since last September and no luck... but I think it really is that, just chance and everything going right on that occasion. So don´t be too down about your age, just be lucky!!

 

[sumatwsimit]

natsby, agree being lucky has got a lot to do with it.

what i'm realising now from coming on here, bandb, is how ttc whatever the age is not an easy path. i was only talking to my mum about it the other month and she said so many women don't talk about their struggles ttc and you only get to really hear the lovely success stories. it is still kept very much behind closed doors and then when it comes to you, and you find it's not that easy, you feel isolated ( when in actual fact it's unfortunately a common reality). it feels o.k. to talk about our mc and conception struggles on here but it's rarely shared (or we even feel comfortable doing it) with the people we know.

i can't even bring myself to answer the question as to whether i'm thinking about trying for a baby with any of my sisters they keep asking me all the time i feel like the odd one out since they all claim to have fallen pregnant the first or second month of trying. stupidly, i thought that was the reality and how pregnancy happened

 

[NorthStar]

There's definitely a culture of not talking about fertility problems or MC which gives people false hope I think.

I was also deluded enough to think that because I was in good shape healthwise that the odds might not apply to me wrong, as the other ladies say no one in real life talks about their struggles openly plus we get the media shoving stories of my surprise baby at 45 by blah blah celebrity down our throats

 

[Sus09]

Sumat, you will.find lots of people that claim falling pregnant very easy, however in many of those cases the reality is different, you dont get to hear about their struggles.

 

[NorthStar]

ITA Sus and sumat, I think there is a smug boasting thing that people like to do, it's not cool and some people seem to delight in rubbing other people's faces in it too

 

[Milty]

Suma I was like you way back in my twenties. My whole family has kids coming out their ears and just assumed I would be like them. My Grandparents had 33 grandkids for goodness sake. So you can see how easy it is for me to go ok this will be easy.

 

[sumatwsimit]

Suma I was like you way back in my twenties. My whole family has kids coming out their ears and just assumed I would be like them. My Grandparents had 33 grandkids for goodness sake. So you can see how easy it is for me to go ok this will be easy.

sounds like the size of my mum's family haha. my nanna (mum's mum) had 7 kids (8 actually but one died when he was a baby), and 6 of those kids went on to breed like rabbits. all my cousins now have followed suit, most of them (cousins) had their kids by the time they were 16 classy huh!

 

[Sus09]

Well, 16 is far too young! Although I am finding it hard to ger pg, i dont regret not trying in my 20s i was not ready and had lots to achieve.
Sumat hun, things have changed and families arent so big these days. It is unfair when people rub in the fact they have lots of kids or how easy it is to get pg. Gets me down!

 

[Wabblit]

Part of me wishes people would stop being so British and openly talk about conception. I would have definately took less precautions if I really understood it would be this difficult. Wishing all you lovely ladies a BFP and remember it'll be worth it in the end. The journey is just character building xxx

 

[Milty]

In my twenties I wasn't open about it. But know I am. I could care less what people think.