Anyone else keep changing their mind?

[tkeith8109]

Last week I was so sure I wanted a 3rd child. Had my husband on board and could not stop thinking about it. After spending a couple of days with my kids, which I love more than anything, I started thinking there is no way we could have a 3rd right now and why would we want to start all over again. We are moving into a bigger place at the end of the month, but I still can't see us having another for a while, if ever. I'm working 50 hrs a week and my husband works 40. We're really wanting to focus on buying a house in the next year or so, but then I get these little pangs that make me think I do want one and I'm just scared. Anyone else go through this?

 

[Jade--x]

Yes! I had this last year. One minute I really want another and I can't wait, the next I'm thinking..Do I want to do it all again. I am so happy with how things are at the minute. The children are independent, they don't need nappies, they can dress themselves and sleep all night (most of the time).

More recently, I haven't changed my mind. It's not a case of whether I want one it's a case of when we want to TTC one. I do still have the worry of starting all over again after so long (my LOs are now 7 and 4 but I wouldn't be TTC for about 2 years) but the reasons we want a 3rd far outweigh that.

 

[Ziggy2]

yes i am in exactly the same boat, really want that feeling of completness that I would get with a 3rd child and we have talked it over and over but ultamately I don't want to look back in 10 years time and regret not going for it, so I have come off the pill and we are going to see what happens - at least if we try and it doesn't happen I won't live my life wondering what would have been. Still have my doubts but know that it will all work out in the end

 

[tkeith8109]

Thank you for replying. I'm glad to know I'm not crazy. I was really wanting to start trying sometime this year and like I said, it comes and goes. I have felt like if we don't try then we will regret it, but then again if we do and it's harder then I don't want to be stressed out for the next few years either. I love my kids and would love to give them a sibling, but I don't know if I want another baby because I miss the baby stage and being pregnant or if I want another one because I truly want another child. It's such a hard decision when wanting number 3. Number 1 and 2 was a piece of cake! Hopefully we will get to a stage in our life where we will just know. Thanks again.

 

[kksy9b]

I was in a similar situation. I knew for sure I wanted #2, but wasn't sure if starting now was the right time, or if I felt ready enough to start over and also have a toddler. Then in January, we wound up in the tww. And while it was a slim.chance, and tur es out to be negative, spending 2 weeks thinki g and wondering about all the what ifs sealed the deal for me. It made me realize that I am fully ready now and we will figure out the details.

Not to say you should put yourself in that kind of situation. But really try to imagine if you were pregnant right now and there was no choice but to figure it out. How would you balance work? How were your previous pregnancies (morning sickness etc) and add packing on top of it. Would that be something you could handle? Do you still have your kids baby things? Moving is expensive (we did it last year)...how much would you have to buy for the new baby and would you be able to financially handle both?

You're the only one that can know if now is the right time or not. From reading your posts, to me, it sounds like you want a third but are stressed over the details and timing, primarily the move. In your shoes, I would move and get settled and then revisit the idea of #3. But if its another year until ylh would be trying, how does that make you feel? It may never be that you just "know." I would actively make a list or have a discussion with your OH or whatnot. I think it will help you feel more confident in your decision. Best of luck hun x

 

[tkeith8109]

Thank you so much. We're moving in 2 weeks, but it's not going to be too much since we live in an apartment and are just upgrading to a 3 bedroom. We're more worried about child care. I know that we would make it work, but it's still scary. Both of my pregnancies were pretty good, no morning sickness. It's just scary to think of starting over. But at the same time really exciting.