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Hi girls, just looking for a bit of advice.
I'm a single first time Mum. My pregnancy was not in anyway planned and was a huge shock to the system. I'd wanted kids young for years but after having had my miscarriage I'd settled on finding myself Mr. Right first and having a steady career. I'd only just begun my second year at university when I found out I was expecting. Shortly after I was single.
I've taken anxiety attacks for a couple of years (they are triggered by the idea I could vomit, so someone saying they feel unwell, potential germs etc). I'm on an anti-sickness drug that can also be prescribed as a anti-anxiety drug which I take at the onset of an attack. At my six week check up the doctor whom had never dealt with me before, decided I needed to be referred to the perinatal mental heath team and removed from the medication and put on to an anti-depressant. A couple of weeks later I had to see my regular doctor who fortunately seen that my anxiety was nothing to do with pregnancy nor my child and had been a long standing issue so said my continued use of the anti-sickness drug was fine however not a solution so was referred for CBT.
I'm fortunate that we live with my Mum (A nightshift nurse) who has been my rock and a massive help.
Fast forward a couple of months, Roo is almost four months old. I'm beginning to become resentful of him and it's tearing me apart. I understand that being a parent means you rarely get a good sleep but due to my anxiety I don't sleep at night. And on the odd occasion when I can, I'm scared to because I don't wake up to him crying. Fortunately the nights my Mum's not working she will but the nights she is, I can't. I don't want to go out because babies are a magnet for people to touch and spread germs. I'll get my Mum to feed him at every opportunity because I'm paranoid he'll vomit (He had a lot of mucus and brought nearly every bottle up the first two weeks). My Mum and I have a system, she takes him around 8am till lunch to let me get a sleep. Upon trying to wake me up I'm horrible. I can barely wake up, I turn nasty and even when she brings my son in, he'll smile yet I can barely look in his direction. Once I fully wake-up (usually takes an hour or so) I regret it and feel awful.
I love my son, I do but I just feel that I'm going through the motions of parenthood. I just want to enjoy him.
I want to talk to my bestfriend (she has a son a year older than mine) but I felt that throughout my pregnancy all she wanted was me to be miserable and I feel that if I were to go to her she would be happy in my misery.
I don't know who to talk to. I feel if I speak to my doctor they'll just try and put me on anti-depressants which I won't take for fear of the side effects. I'd talk to my Mum but she already has so much on her plate with other things.
Any advice girls? xx
I'm a single first time Mum. My pregnancy was not in anyway planned and was a huge shock to the system. I'd wanted kids young for years but after having had my miscarriage I'd settled on finding myself Mr. Right first and having a steady career. I'd only just begun my second year at university when I found out I was expecting. Shortly after I was single.
I've taken anxiety attacks for a couple of years (they are triggered by the idea I could vomit, so someone saying they feel unwell, potential germs etc). I'm on an anti-sickness drug that can also be prescribed as a anti-anxiety drug which I take at the onset of an attack. At my six week check up the doctor whom had never dealt with me before, decided I needed to be referred to the perinatal mental heath team and removed from the medication and put on to an anti-depressant. A couple of weeks later I had to see my regular doctor who fortunately seen that my anxiety was nothing to do with pregnancy nor my child and had been a long standing issue so said my continued use of the anti-sickness drug was fine however not a solution so was referred for CBT.
I'm fortunate that we live with my Mum (A nightshift nurse) who has been my rock and a massive help.
Fast forward a couple of months, Roo is almost four months old. I'm beginning to become resentful of him and it's tearing me apart. I understand that being a parent means you rarely get a good sleep but due to my anxiety I don't sleep at night. And on the odd occasion when I can, I'm scared to because I don't wake up to him crying. Fortunately the nights my Mum's not working she will but the nights she is, I can't. I don't want to go out because babies are a magnet for people to touch and spread germs. I'll get my Mum to feed him at every opportunity because I'm paranoid he'll vomit (He had a lot of mucus and brought nearly every bottle up the first two weeks). My Mum and I have a system, she takes him around 8am till lunch to let me get a sleep. Upon trying to wake me up I'm horrible. I can barely wake up, I turn nasty and even when she brings my son in, he'll smile yet I can barely look in his direction. Once I fully wake-up (usually takes an hour or so) I regret it and feel awful.
I love my son, I do but I just feel that I'm going through the motions of parenthood. I just want to enjoy him.
I want to talk to my bestfriend (she has a son a year older than mine) but I felt that throughout my pregnancy all she wanted was me to be miserable and I feel that if I were to go to her she would be happy in my misery.
I don't know who to talk to. I feel if I speak to my doctor they'll just try and put me on anti-depressants which I won't take for fear of the side effects. I'd talk to my Mum but she already has so much on her plate with other things.
Any advice girls? xx
being a mom is hard but you just have to hang in there , it will get Easier ! Not really any of my business but you friend sounds kinda mean, getting pleasure from your pain isn't much of a friend & support systems are so important ! Sounds like your mom is your support system, I would talk to her !
