Anyone else Stressed/nervous/sad/anxious?

[hongkongchick]

Hi all, I am well into my second trimester now and physically I feel fine, no more MS and not as tired anymore, but my emotions are really out of whack. I am not sure how to pinpoint exactly how i feel, but i just don't feel happy. the only time i truly feel happy is when baby kicks, knowing my child inside is growing and alive makes me happy, but other than that, i just feel blah...

I am super happy that i am pregnant and love it, i love my husband and he is great. But everything else bugs me. People irritate me to no end so i have become quite the hermit. even when i do go out, i don't look into people's eyes and i try to stay as far away from people as possible.

I am currently staying with my folks, and i can't go anywhere else (long story) but my mom is driving me nuts.


then my grandpa passed away recently and grandma had a stroke and the constant family issues make it hard for me to relax.

i find myself crying whenever i am alone with no distraction, in the showers too.

I haven't talked to my friends or anybody about my feelings coz i feel like bitching if i trouble them with such problems (though i have told hubby a little bit but there is nothing he can do to help, he is too far away to hug me)

Is anyone in the same emotional state as I am? how do you cope with it? Or how do you do cope with it without troubling anyone? Will this feeling go away? Am I just too sensitive and emotional?

 

[Yo_Yo]

So sorry sbout your grandpa passing and your grandma having a stroke

Firstly, I think given everything going on, it's perfectly understandable your feeling this way. In times of stress people often feel like withdrawing from others.

Don't worry, and don't think your troubling anyone if you want to talk it out (probably would be good for you to get it out there how you feel, rather than bottling it up) even talking to a midwife about your feelings might help you.

I have had stress in this pregnancy that at some points caused huge anxiety, but you get through it honey

 

[laurabe]

I've been feeling really happy but the last couple of days I have just been feeling down but I don't understand why. Like for example I went back to bed this morning after breakfast and cried. I truly don't know why and I told myself it must be hormones so I decided to get out and enjoy the nice weather, but I haven't even got myself dressed yet :-\

 

[vickyandchick]

I know how you're feeling hun and it's bloody horrible, also I'm so sorry about your grandpa
My OH has recently left me which I'm trying to deal with but it's pretty much my little boy that gets me through the day.
Tbh I'm not really dealing with anything, I spend most of my day crying and just try and keep myself occupied and distracted. I snap at people so easily and whilst everyone says they'll be supportive, they have their own lives so I'm by myself a lot with no one to talk to and that's when it's the worst. The ladies on here help a lot, they're seriously awesome so I spend a lot of time on BnB.
Big hugs to you hun hope things get easier for you x

 

[purplecupcake]

My husband is getting out of the army in February and we will be moving to my home state. We will both be jobless and I am stressing out very much about it. He is going to use his GI bill to go to school so I will need to find a job that pays enough to pay for day care and support us - talk about pressure!

 

[hongkongchick]

ladies, i love you all, just want you all to know that! and thank you for your kind replies.

I still feel stressed (although it helped to type it out here and have you ladies' support).

I don't think i am depressed (i am one of those people that refuse to think that, but i am not ruling it out), but if i keep feeling like that and if it doesn't improve, i might have a problem

1. I am currently out of the country (hubby in the States, i am in Hong Kong) Hubby's insurance provided by his old job was crap, so i had to fly back home to use our free healthcare (i literally pay nothing for all my prenatal visits and delivery, whereas in the states, i had to pay $2000 just for one visit, some blood work and one ultrasound), so that is stressful not having hubby with me.

2. living with my folks... well i am chinese and chinese moms are "strict" to say the least, so living with my mom is very stressful. she is passive-aggressive, negative, paranoid, superstitious and she is the boss, so i cannot (dad neither) talk back or disobey her. i truly do not feel that she is happy about my pregnancy. so with her constant negativity around me, i noticed i have been "sighing" and taking deep breathes ALOT just to calm myself down from snapping.

3. My grandpa died last month. I am happy that i got to see grandpa before cancer took him away, but still not enough. I have been away from my family for years and i am grandpa's favorite. I have regrets, lots of it...

4. my grandma had a stroke. but she is recovering really well. i am stressed not because of her health, but because of all the family issues surrounding her. since grandpa passed, grandma wanted her family to stay with her everyday. long story short, she doesnt want to spend one dime hiring outside help (even though most of the cost will be paid by all of us), she insists that all her over 60 years old sons and DILs take turn to stay with her night and day in a less than 300 square foot home. so her selfishness is stressing everybody out, including my parents, and if they are stressed out, i am stressed out..

5. hubby recently quit his job of 8 years and took a job that pays half.....yup... can we say stress?

6. I live in Hong Kong... well that's stressful enough. with more than 7 million people occupying only about 6 times the size of washington DC, it's way too crowded. and the people? rude. i know they are going through alot of difficulties right now, being part of China isnt a happy thing for them, not being to vote directly for a "president" is a huge deal for them. tons of chinese illegal immigrants using our resources is stressful for them. i understand. but do they have to lose courtesy? being pregnant in HK sucks because no one cares if you are pregnant, they will get in front of you to get through a door (that my dad is holding for me), they will fly pass you to get on an elevator and not push the open door button and let the door hit me and still did nothing. there are just no manners anymore because everyone is so angry at the government and at everybody else who's in their way (me). I know it might be the hormones, but i am extremely upset about this. i mean i am pregnant you morons. urgh... and when i did snap a couple of times, my mom told me i am being ridiculous. so i am having to contain my emotions, suppress them really, so my anger is being bottled up right now, hence the need for deep breathing constantly.

7. i also worry about my parents' health. mom was diagnosed with fatty liver and was near liver failure last year, but she is doing everything she could and it's improving, but she has to be on this super strict diet that lets her eat, literally nothing, so she is super super skinny now and always tired (no iron intake coz she rarely eats meats), i worry about her, she looks sooo much older than is... even though she is overbearing, but she is still my mom, i love her to the moon and back, i don't want her to suffer like that. then my dad, though we dont know if he is healthy coz he doesnt want to get checked out, but he is losing weight (probably because of stress too), he has to take care of his mom (yup my selfish grandma) and his wife and now Me... i feel so bad for coming back coz they have more to do and more to worry about.....


that's just the tip of the iceberg of my emotional state. i know i am gonna really snap one day if something doesn't change, and i know i am the only one who needs to change coz i can't change how others are. but i am not sure how to do it besides just "trying to let it go".............

 

[hongkongchick]

So sorry sbout your grandpa passing and your grandma having a stroke

Firstly, I think given everything going on, it's perfectly understandable your feeling this way. In times of stress people often feel like withdrawing from others.

Don't worry, and don't think your troubling anyone if you want to talk it out (probably would be good for you to get it out there how you feel, rather than bottling it up) even talking to a midwife about your feelings might help you.

I have had stress in this pregnancy that at some points caused huge anxiety, but you get through it honey

Thank you so much. I did feel alot better after letting it out. i do not have my own midwife or doctor since i am using free healthcare here in hong kong, we get whoever is on duty... I focus on baby, looking at cute baby stuff helps

I've been feeling really happy but the last couple of days I have just been feeling down but I don't understand why. Like for example I went back to bed this morning after breakfast and cried. I truly don't know why and I told myself it must be hormones so I decided to get out and enjoy the nice weather, but I haven't even got myself dressed yet :-\

i feel that way too, but i HAVE to go out since my folks won't let me sit at home all day watching the soaps lol but i do feel that i don't want to do anything, see anyone...

I know how you're feeling hun and it's bloody horrible, also I'm so sorry about your grandpa
My OH has recently left me which I'm trying to deal with but it's pretty much my little boy that gets me through the day.
Tbh I'm not really dealing with anything, I spend most of my day crying and just try and keep myself occupied and distracted. I snap at people so easily and whilst everyone says they'll be supportive, they have their own lives so I'm by myself a lot with no one to talk to and that's when it's the worst. The ladies on here help a lot, they're seriously awesome so I spend a lot of time on BnB.
Big hugs to you hun hope things get easier for you x

oh i am so sorry to hear about your OH leaving, i saw your post about him leaving and not knowing why... but i think maybe he is stressed as well. if he doesnt want to take the responsibility as a husband and a dad,the hell with him, you just focus on yourself and baby. i am trying to do things i enjoy (like making myself look pretty, and looking at baby stuff) but i understand how hard it can be, just hang in there, know that i am with you.

My husband is getting out of the army in February and we will be moving to my home state. We will both be jobless and I am stressing out very much about it. He is going to use his GI bill to go to school so I will need to find a job that pays enough to pay for day care and support us - talk about pressure!

yikes... that's tough!!!!! can your family help out for a while till you guys get on your feet? or is that not possible? money is such an evil thing... apply for whatever aid you can if possible. it's not possible for me coz I am not a US citizen, only a resident so i am SOL, but if you can, apply.

 

[heidi87814]

I've been the same, hon. When I'm not pregnant, I get one day of major PMS before my period starts but now that I'm pregnant? Every day is like PMS day. My emotions and moods are all over the place. Poor hubby and kids. lol

I can only imagine that the recent family tragedies are making it that much worse. It's normal, hon, and I'm really sorry about your grandparents.

 

[maddog37]

I'm so sorry for all the stress you're going through. That's a lot and I hope talking about it helps some.

I had severe perinatal anxiety and postpartum OCD (without the compulsion) and mild postpartum depression with my last pregnancy, and am feeling the anxiety creep back up again. I'm not going through all the changes you are, but I have been in the postpartum program last time at the hospital so I've talked to therapists. Sometimes changes like deaths, moves, uncertainty with jobs, being without support, etc. can trigger depression.

I'm from Hong Kong too so I totally understand the stress of being cooped up. I'd go crazy if I have to live wih my parents. Normally I just eat what they want me to eat around them, and then eat whatever I want when they're not with me. Are there any pregnancy support groups you can go to? Hanging out with people going through the same things and who you can talk to can help tremendously.

Is there any program for pregnancy mental health that you can go to there? It's not all medication, they more or less try to use drugs as a last resort. They may set you up with a therapist to talk and they may have connections to resources for your femily that you didn't know about.

Good luck through this trying period.