WantingABubba
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2011
- Messages
- 2,778
- Reaction score
- 0
.
-
Xenforo Cloud upgraded our forum to XenForo version 2.3.4. This update has created styling issues to our current templates. We will continue to work on clearing up these issues for the next few days, but please report any other issues you may experience so we can look into. Thanks for your patience and understanding.
Anyone else varying from tears to being okay about it?
- Thread starter WantingABubba
- Start date
Mummy1995
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Nov 14, 2011
- Messages
- 2,528
- Reaction score
- 0
Massive hugs hun! I was exactly the same. Id feel confident and happy for dayd and then suddenly Id break down, especially like you say at night. I think its brcause you have more time to really think about everything. It is so so hard to deal with. Im still so sad for my baby though. But Im starting to come to terms with it all now. I do have moments of sadness but most of the time FOB is pushed to the bavk of my mind, sometimes I forget about him completely. I think in a lot of ways pregnancy is the hard bit as when LO is here you have all your attention and time consumed bby them 
Time is the greatest healer. Things will get easier xx
Time is the greatest healer. Things will get easier xx
Dezireey
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jan 9, 2012
- Messages
- 1,243
- Reaction score
- 0
I was like this in the beginning sweetie. Same as you, I was with a guy for ages, things were going great, getting on better than ever etc. I got pregnant and he basically treated me as if it was something I had done to just upset him?? I understand how difficult it is for men when they don't want a child ( they can be really against it if they also are badly off financially as they can't provide for a child) but a woman has to make a decision that involves her body and give her peace in her mind. A woman goes through a huge amount of turmoil about unplanned pregnancy. I just wish he had, at the very least, just been my friend through it all and supported me in just a little way (call often, be at the birth, touch base every now and again, give a bit of financial support without asking etc). But no, these men blank us out and treat us like dirt, like we have suddenly become pariahs to them. Its the cruelest, most hurtful thing to do to someone and shame on them all for being such disgusting human beings.
What I will say to you is that the best thing you can do now is totally and absolutely forget him. Let him know that he is welcome to be a Father etc, leave the door open for him, tell him you won't ever change the e-mail or telephone number, so he can get in touch at anytime. Don't have a go at him (even if you feel like screaming at him, don't) just silently and sweetly let him go. I learnt my lesson the hard way and I hounded and harassed my ex and pleaded with him and all it did was make the wound deeper and hurt me for longer and pushed him miles away for good. There will be a day, trust me, where you will be happy. It might not seem like it for a while but you will get there. You can't make someone like him change his mind, if his mind doesn't want to be changed, sorry. There is only a bright future for you. A future with just you and baby (lovely! it gets better and better with the little one) or a future where you meet a lovely man who will love your baby as his own and your LO will have a Daddy, just not in the conventional way.
You are not the one who has to live with himself day in day out knowing he has abandoned his own child, he does. Leave him to his own selfishness, let him make a move to reconcile etc.
Enjoy this time as much as you can, truly, its a great experience in life being a Mummy and sweetie, don't fret, everyone in life has something (usually) that upsets them or makes them sad. For every single mum looking sadly at a Daddy with a baby, there is a woman looking at you holding your child with sadness because she can't have one, or there is someone looking at a young couple with sadness because they have just gone through a break-up. Its not something you should get upset over, try not to.
We are all here to listen, so come and have a vent/ chat when you need to.
Big Hugs xx
What I will say to you is that the best thing you can do now is totally and absolutely forget him. Let him know that he is welcome to be a Father etc, leave the door open for him, tell him you won't ever change the e-mail or telephone number, so he can get in touch at anytime. Don't have a go at him (even if you feel like screaming at him, don't) just silently and sweetly let him go. I learnt my lesson the hard way and I hounded and harassed my ex and pleaded with him and all it did was make the wound deeper and hurt me for longer and pushed him miles away for good. There will be a day, trust me, where you will be happy. It might not seem like it for a while but you will get there. You can't make someone like him change his mind, if his mind doesn't want to be changed, sorry. There is only a bright future for you. A future with just you and baby (lovely! it gets better and better with the little one) or a future where you meet a lovely man who will love your baby as his own and your LO will have a Daddy, just not in the conventional way.
You are not the one who has to live with himself day in day out knowing he has abandoned his own child, he does. Leave him to his own selfishness, let him make a move to reconcile etc.
Enjoy this time as much as you can, truly, its a great experience in life being a Mummy and sweetie, don't fret, everyone in life has something (usually) that upsets them or makes them sad. For every single mum looking sadly at a Daddy with a baby, there is a woman looking at you holding your child with sadness because she can't have one, or there is someone looking at a young couple with sadness because they have just gone through a break-up. Its not something you should get upset over, try not to.
We are all here to listen, so come and have a vent/ chat when you need to.
Big Hugs xx
Dezireey, you put it perfectly.
Honey, we are always here to listen to you.
Time is the greatest healer. I too went through pregnancy alone, afraid, angry, upset. Boy do i regret it. It is such a special and precious time. When you hold your bundle, is when you will realise what this idiot is missing out on. Your baby will have everything it needs from you. Maybe he will come round. There is still plenty of time.
Focus on you and your unborn baby. Your both whats important now.
I know you probably miss him, your gonna have down days (we ALL do) but hes shown himself for what he really is right now.
Chin up, and all the very best.
You will do just fine if you put everything into being happy and healthy, try not to stress, you dont wanna stress out your unborn child.
X
Honey, we are always here to listen to you.
Time is the greatest healer. I too went through pregnancy alone, afraid, angry, upset. Boy do i regret it. It is such a special and precious time. When you hold your bundle, is when you will realise what this idiot is missing out on. Your baby will have everything it needs from you. Maybe he will come round. There is still plenty of time.
Focus on you and your unborn baby. Your both whats important now.
I know you probably miss him, your gonna have down days (we ALL do) but hes shown himself for what he really is right now.
Chin up, and all the very best.
You will do just fine if you put everything into being happy and healthy, try not to stress, you dont wanna stress out your unborn child.
X
