Anyone Else Worry Like This?

[Firedancer41]

I lost my son Nov. 30, just 12 days after birth. His heartrate dropped while I was in labor (he was full-term) but no one knows why. The lack of oxygen caused him to be mostly brain dead--it was the most devastating moment of my life, to go through an entire pregnancy thinking nothing other than that a baby would be at the end of all of this.

Anyway, I still have a huge (probably greater) desire to have a baby, and my age concerns me, since I'm almost 37.

One of my main concerns is what others may think if I get pregnant again soon...like it's too soon. I think sometimes I worry too much--I thought people (like my parents) would think we were crazy for wanting #4, but everyone was quite happy for us.

I just finished my first AF since then, and although we were careful up to that point, I'm not sure if we're trying or not LOL I'm on CD 9 and we've
now a couple of times without using anything. I was going to wait until one more AF but frankly don't see if there is much difference or harm in trying right away. I feel very physically healed and emotionally I feel I can handle another, even though I will be on eggshells until I actually have a healthy baby in my arms.

 

[hb1]

Hi - Just wanted to say that I am so sorry for your loss - I can't even try to understand the emotional turmoil you must have been through .

I think everyone worries about every aspect of ttc after a loss and can definitely empathise with your worry about your family but they would only be worried out of concern for you and am sure if you got pregnant again they would rally around you again and provide all the support you needed.

From reading other threads and exploring my own feelings I think it's natural to see the time that you lost your baby as a first hurdle to get past and going to full term means that that hurdle will feel such a long way away - definitely seek out ways of de-stressing and dealing with all the emotions that will be with you after your loss.

Hope you have your baby in your arms soon hx

 

[puppymom32]

So sorry babe I cant imagine how painful that experience must have been. I think it is very normal to be worried throught the entire process. I just turned 33 and I too ofter worry about my age and what will happen next. I agree with hb1 I am sure your family will not judge and rally around u to be supportive. Best of luck and only u can decide when u r both physically and mentally ready to try again.

 

[posh]

I'm so sorry for your loss hunni .
I went through exactly the same thing with my son. They lost his heartrate as he entered the birth canal and he had to be resucitated once he entered the world. He never regained consciousness and they had to turn off the life support 8 hours later, and I didn't get to see the colour of his eyes .
We started TTC as soon as I got a proper AF, but so far it seems this is the only cycle I have ov'd so I have my fingers crossed that my body is ready to house another little person.
If you ever need to chat, I'm here .

 

[Firedancer41]

Posh, I am sorry for your loss as well. Good luck to you; sending BFP vibes your way!!!

 

[Charliemarina]

hunny im so sorry for ur loss, i actually cnt imagine what ur going through and i hope ur being looked after.
i dnt think its too soon hunny, years ago doctors used to advise women to try again after a loss of child it seemed to actually work in helping grief and healing (but we all know another baby will never replace ur loss but it would defo give u something to focus on), ur son is a true angel and is now looking after u ,OH and any lil bean that may grow as his brother or sister.
i think if people have a problem then there not worth having around, do whats right for u and OH huns, please accept this huge massive and please do stay on the site, iv lost 3 pregnancy's (all b4 12 weeks) and i feel these ladies have helped my grief tremendously i do hope u can also find the same comfort here

 

[Ten]

After I lost my DD (8.5 months into pregnancy) I was crying on my friend's shoulder. And of course among all my random "Why me?" and "We were so close!" I said "I still want her back - but what if it's too soon? What would people say?" And she said, "It's never too soon, and it's never too late. When you're ready is when you're ready, and hell with anyone who says different."

She is very wise, my friend.

 

[goddess25]

I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot even begin to imagine how hard that was for you. You sound like a very strong women and i admire you for that. I would say if you are feeling emotionally and physically ready to try for another child then i would say that you are right to follow that desire. It really does not matter what anyone else thinks, i am sure that people will make comments to each other but hopefully not to you! They dont and will never understand what you have been through, try to ignore them. You and your partner are the most important people here and thats all that matters.

Good Luck and I wish you all the luck in the world with your next pregnancy.. hoping for a BFP for you soon. x

 

[jennyellen13]

hey im sorry for your loss, my daughter was born asleep at 25 weeks, and to begin with i didnt want to try again straight away, but then i changed my mind and wanted a child so badly i did try straight away but casually, not sure if i actually ovulated then but so far nothings happened and its nearly 7months. i dont see the harm in trying straight away, even if you do it casually to begin with. aslong as you feel ok to try again then why not. i know if i got pregnant straight away then i would be anxious but then if i got pregnant now, i would be anxious still.

hope you have lots of luck and get a bfp xxx