Anyone else's fam/in laws driving them crazy with names?

[mummyruston]

I love my MIL, she's a lovely woman and is a really help with my 3yo DD but when it comes to babies and their names she's driving me insane!

She was like it when I was pregnant with my DD and I learned my lesson well after she turned her nose up on my boys name choice and so did my mum which really put me off and annoyed me!

This time round, like before we're pretty keen on out girls name choices and are happy to share as we're not undecided albeit my mil prefers our second choice!

Anyway, she's driving me insane! Keeps asking and keeps suggesting totally unsuitable and not to either of tastes names we just would never consider!

I'd initially said I liked Ted but OH doesn't, so she's taken it upon herself to call the baby 'baby boy ted' to my daughter...my 3yo said no - it's baby jasper (one of our choices) and MIL asked me and said ooh i don't like that!!!

Sorry for rant but it's just annoying! Anyone else!?

I just say we still haven't agreed.

 

[Charliejones]

God u literally could have taken those words out of my mouth!! I don't get on with my MIL but she continuously says things to piss me off!

With my son she was a nightmare texting my partner names she liked so when I was pregnant again shed wait for me to leave the room and say things like"you aren't going to call the baby willow are you? Please don't it's awful!" It would really infuriate me as if she would try and manipulate my OH

She asked me again but I said no I'm not saying any name and she turned round and said "I love Martha for a girl!" HELL NO!! I thought she might have been joking! I know it's probably a nice name for other people but it's definitely not my cup of tea!

Then my OH would say things to me such as " I can't wait to see my mums face when we tell her!" As if she will never like it no matter what!

Sod them! They had their babies now it's our turn DO NOT let anyone put you u off the name if you have your heart set on it,if your hormones are very high like mine at the moment your probably very hot headed like me
Xx

 

[mummyruston]

They've certainly had their chance and like you say it's our choice!

I just think when baby is here you'll love the baby regardless of name so stop questioning me!!

Not to mention she makes her children Steve Smith and Richard Smith / not exactly original or thoughtful as Steve smith is the most common name in the UK!!

 

[lilmisscaviar]

LOL I hear ya! When I was pregnant my aunt was blowing up my phone with text messages full of possible baby names. In the end, I chose NONE of them because we already settled on a name long before we even TTC. Oh, and my husband's grandmother had the nerve to tell me the middle name for my daughter was too long! She also was unoriginal, as my husband's dad's name is Steve too.

 

[Charliejones]

I know what you mean my MIL picked Alex Barrie and and Michael Barrie for her names! So it makes me laugh how judgemental they can be over ours. I appreciate they are from a different generation but they don't need to be so forceful with their opinions!

Hopefully because you have a good relationship with her u could tell her to tone it down abit and she'd understand perhaps? What does your OH say? Mine wouldn't even say BOO to his mum because he never wants to upset her which has caused problems in the past for me

 

[RubyRainbows]

Maybe think of it this way - you guys have ppl in your lives who are happy & excited about your baby! Naming a baby is so much fun! I am obsessed with baby names, literally! I could talk baby names ALL DAY! So I HATE when friends and family refuse to talk names when they're pregnant. I know they feel like you guys do - it's their decision and they don't need anyone else's opinions. And it is, truly, their decision in the end. But how fun it would be to talk about!! Pregnancy goes by so quickly -- enjoy every moment of it! Be in the moment and just allow yourselves to enjoy the small things like grandma-to-be suggesting out-dated names from her generation, for example! It's kind of cute!!

My mom used to suggest awful names - like Marla for a girl and Sailor for a boy!! Names I would never use, haha. But it makes for a fond memory!

That's not to say it's not rude of ppl to criticize your name choice or wrinkle their noses at names you love (bc it is). But there is no way to please everyone. Especially different generations - their favorite names are often going to be very different!

On a side note - I was single when I had my son. And none of my friends were in baby-mode yet. I truly felt like no one cared what name I picked. No one asked or discussed names with me (except my mom). I had a name picked until the day he was born... changed it once I saw him... no one even flinched when I changed my mind. That was no fun either!! LOL. I kind of wished I had ppl to debate names with... I would have at least felt that ppl were excited about my pregnancy!!

 

[Delphine11]

Yep, been there, had that : D

I find the best thing to do is just make a non-committal "Mmm" noise. Let her talk on if she wants to but try to screen it out and don't respond to any suggestions. If she asks you directly, then just do the "Mmm" and if she persists, and it annoys you, then you can say something like "Thanks but we've already finalised our shortlist".

If she's a lovely lady then let her talk about names if she wants, but don't let it become about the name of YOUR baby and don't get drawn into discussions at all. Politely make it clear the choice is yours.

Hopefully, like mine she'll burn herself out after a few weeks of name suggestions! : D

 

[mummyruston]

I guess she's just excited to be honest and think she's helping because I've told her we're not in agreement on names for boys to try and stop her asking and driving us mad.

I've already learned my lesson with DD when I said our boys name choice was Blake and she actually said I don't like that and so did my mum!

This time I've been more guarded and think that's what she doesn't get and is offering up suggestions. I think she's actually reading name books too as she tell me what the names mean!!!

 

[nmpjcp2015]

Mine isn't suggesting names per say, but she suggests crazy spellings. I finally was so noncommittal that she stopped talking about it.

We chose Samuel for a boy (Sam). And she wants to spell it Samielle or Samyule or something. I just told her that I want them to have a normal name with normal spelling because of my experience growing up.

But like a previous poster said... it's great that their excited and actually care. Some people don't get that at all.

 

[mummyruston]

I know. Especially being our second, most people don't bother or ask unlike the first time.

I'm sure my mum won't like whatever names we choose either it's just she doesn't ask! I know she'll say Edith (our chosen girl name) is old fashioned and fuddy duddy. But i don't care.

 

[Caitie44]

That's why I refused to discuss DD's name with anyone but my SO. I get people are excited and might enjoy talking about names, but I don't think they realize that them making comments might totally change someone's opinion of a name they loved!

When I was pregnant with DD, people would ask names, and I'd tell them we weren't talking about them. Of course people continued to press and wouldn't let it drop, so I finally told them it wasn't up for discussion, period, and not to bring it up again. If people want to talk about their names, that's great, but I wasn't comfortable with it.

People need to respect your wishes. If I were you, I'd simply tell her to stop bringing it up or that you're waiting until LO gets here to talk about it with your DH.

 

[adrie]

2 weeks before I had our daughter, we were visiting with my mom and her brother and his wife. My mom asked me if we could consider Valla as a middle name rather than a first, so insinuating we choose a name more to her liking.

No mom. We chose a real, Germanic name and if you don't love it, too bad. Doesn't bother me whatsoever.

To play devil's advocate though, it seems like more and more people use unusual, made-up names to be as unique as possible. So I can understand why some of them may seem strange. Whatever though. Your babe, your name.

 

[mummy2_1]

It was more my own family that judged our names when pg with our lb. Thankfully we no longer talk to my mother so it's not as bad. Everyone did.not like my son's name. We were undeterred and loved.it.

This time they have.all been much more supportive and have said they like our name we have chosen for our lg. My sister would still rIng many times during the day to try and offer other name suggestions but now she's happy with our choice

 

[stiletto_mom]

This is exactly the reason why our names will not be revealed until birth. I'll tell them I'm happy to hear suggestions, but what we are considering will not be up for discussion.

 

[Kathleen]

Our problem is with the FIL rather than MIL. He's got an opinion on everything and has so far made snide jokes on all our choices. My mum on the other hand has hardly been in contact, bit like someone said earlier, would love some attention and enthusiasm but I'm lucky to get a phone call once a month