Anyone ever rethink TTC

[crystal443]

I had a moment yesterday and it kinda stopped me in tracks and made me do a rethink or reevaluate our TTC. There's a nasty flu bug going aroung at the moment, DD who's 15 had it, DH had it and it was pretty nasty. DS who is normally healthy and a strapping 13 yo rarely if ever gets sick. Anyway he came down with a high fever and chills, runny nose and all that jazz and was in bed for 2 days. I took him to the doctor and I had an appointment as well to get a new referral for the IVF Clinic..so long story short my DS is sitting beside me and I looked at him and he was so pale and he had tears in eyes and I said what's wrong and he spewed all over the doctors floor. (my DS is taller then me and was taller then the doctor checking him, I guess because he's such a big lad I even forget he's not grown up yet) Anyway, because he's 13 he's at an age where he rarely cries, or even lets things get to him and for that one moment I saw him as a little boy again and I thought they still need us and I felt guilty for TTC. I had a good chat with DH and I'm ok now but it made reevaluate where we're at now and if this is what we still want. Time can pass so quickly when TTC that I think I realized our reasons for TTC have changed over the years..when the kids were little it was because we wanted a large family but now they're older its because not having another was never really an option for us. I think we all have moments where we rethink TTC..anyway just wanted to share for no particular reason other then it was one of those moments in life where time stands still for just a few seconds and things can change in an instance

 

[dachsundmom]

How's that for an answer!

 

[Indigo77]

I rethink it all the time.
I know it is an unpopular sentiment here, but I quite enjoy my childless life..

 

[Indigo77]

How's that for an answer!

If I wasn't too lazy to type all those characters, I would use this emoticon more often, I think.

 

[Mon_n_john]

I've thought about it too. Truth be told if I had been trying for # for many years I would consider giving up, just so that I could focus on my kids and my life again. But for now, I've got to give it all I got, without hurting my kids or my hubby. So I try to make sure that I have at least one day a week where I do something special with them so that they remember how much they mean to me.

 

[dachsundmom]

What do you mean 'type characters?'

You use it just like the others, LOL

 

[dachsundmom]

Truth be told if I had been trying for # for many years I would consider giving up, just so that I could focus on my kids and my life again.

This is actually pretty smart and insightful.

 

[Indigo77]

What do you mean 'type characters?'

You use it just like the others, LOL

Most of the others are a click away in the 'Smilies' box. Others are words in between colons that I can easily remember. I have an iPad. Those characters are on another keyboard screen and are a PITA to find. Ok?

 

[crystal443]

Dmom it does begin to feel like that after a long drawn out TTC, its ridiculous after awhile!! Indigo..we've had that discussion yesterday, although we have kids they're older DD has a part time job now and will be driving next year, she's top of her class and will be going to med school, DS is 13 but he's always playing video games, friends etc and he too wants to go to uni. I think we really needed that chat because our kids are at an age where we have alot of our freedom back now and I'm sure Dmom understands this as well. For some reason when I looked at DS and saw his tears it made everything stop for a few moments and it really made me think do I want to do this now?

We went back and forth on pros and cons and at the end of it we both really don't feel like our family is complete and want to move forward Indigo although it might not be a popular sediment on here, its a very real feeling that everyone has to some degree. I don't know it was just the wierdest thing yesterday

 

[dachsundmom]

What do you mean 'type characters?'

You use it just like the others, LOL

Most of the others are a click away in the 'Smilies' box. Others are words in between colons that I can easily remember. I have an iPad. Those characters are on another keyboard screen and are a PITA to find. Ok?

Ok, sorry.

 

[crystal443]

What do you mean 'type characters?'

You use it just like the others, LOL

Most of the others are a click away in the 'Smilies' box. Others are words in between colons that I can easily remember. I have an iPad. Those characters are on another keyboard screen and are a PITA to find. Ok?

That is exactly why I usually only use all the others I have to do extra clicks and TBH I just can't be F*$%ed

 

[googly]

Not yet... but that's because I guess we haven't been at it very long, and because we haven't got any children at all. I could see down the track I might question it a lot more... I think i could be ok with no children though - don't me wrong, I desperately *want* children - but I think I could convince myself of the benefits of NOT having kids if I had to.

 

[crystal443]

I've thought about it too. Truth be told if I had been trying for # for many years I would consider giving up, just so that I could focus on my kids and my life again. But for now, I've got to give it all I got, without hurting my kids or my hubby. So I try to make sure that I have at least one day a week where I do something special with them so that they remember how much they mean to me.

This is why the big push for IVF now, we'll either get pregnant or we can let it go and move on..it just comes to that point really. We haven't decided on how many cycles we'll try yet but we'll do a cycle and then decide depending on how demanding we find it.

 

[Indigo77]

How long have you been TTC, Googly?

 

[googly]

How long have you been TTC, Googly?

This is cycle #7... came off BCP end of Jan. Feb/March were a bit of a write-off cycle due to the earthquake, so I guess from late March onwards - 6 cycles of fairly concerted effort timing/monitoring wise.

 

[Indigo77]

Same here (almost)....but you have already had tests and are on Clomid now, right?

I am dreading the medical crap....

 

[googly]

Same here (almost)....but you have already had tests and are on Clomid now, right?

I am dreading the medical crap....

Yeah well I started charting quite early; after 3 months I realised my LP was only 7-8 days. Did a bit of research and worked out that that wasn't right... so went along to the GP at that point. She was useless, but did order the bloods at least. After another 2 months of 8-9 day LPs, I went back again and got her to refer me to the FS. She was quite happy to do that - apparently the thresholds here are 12 months TTC for someone under 35, 6 months for someone over 35, but less if you're over 35 and have an observable issue. I then got into the FS pretty quickly, and yeah, he chucked me on Clomid right off the bat. I think he would have sent me away to chart for a few months - another friend of mine had that experience - but because I could already give him the evidence he could see what the issue was straight away and was happy to prescribe the clomid.

The story from here is - if we need it - you have to do 9 cycles of Clomid, but after that you're eligible for public funding for IUI/IVF. Not sure how many cycles they'll fund, but at least some. So that's pretty good (although DH is not too keen on the idea of that.......)

Hoping the Clomid will do it before that becomes an issue... might just need to experiment with dosage and supplements (estrogen/progesterone) to support the lining/LP. I'm due to go back in to the FS after 3 cycles to review the dose and do more tests to rule other things out (presume they'll do the HSG thing at that point... I'm also going to push for the endometrial biopsy).

Are you going to explore medical options or keep it natural for now? I think I would have been very happy to keep it low key/natural and be patient if it wasn't for the LP thing. It just seemed pointless to keep plugging away when it was such an obvious deficiency. Having said that, we do also want 2 - ideally. And I definitely feel the time ticking down sometimes...

 

[dachsundmom]

Googly, so were you given Clomid even though you do OV every cycle on your own? That's how it was prescribed to me; OV was not my issue.

 

[Indigo77]

I would love to keep it low key/natural and be patient, but it has been 6 cycles and I am 39.

My DH's SA came back with a very high count, good motility, but only 2% morphology. (4%+ is considered 'normal') I know that more eggs per cycle (meds) would help increase our chances, but I dread even this. The urologist thought his overall results were ok and that it may just take us longer.

I did get a positive HPT on my 2nd cycle, but it was on 10 dpo, and 2 days later, it was gone.....so now I am not sure if it was a false positive (4 tests, same Wondfo brand) or a chemical, or what.

So, I guess we gave it 6 cycles, so it's time to take the next steps... I just hate docs and drugs(meds) and needles and tests and blood even the scent of doctors' offices...

 

[Mon_n_john]

I would love to keep it low key/natural and be patient, but it has been 6 cycles and I am 39.

My DH's SA came back with a very high count, good motility, but only 2% morphology. (4%+ is considered 'normal') I know that more eggs per cycle (meds) would help increase our chances, but I dread even this. The urologist thought his overall results were ok and that it may just take us longer.

I did get a positive HPT on my 2nd cycle, but it was on 10 dpo, and 2 days later, it was gone.....so now I am not sure if it was a false positive (4 tests, same Wondfo brand) or a chemical, or what.

So, I guess we gave it 6 cycles, so it's time to take the next steps... I just hate docs and drugs(meds) and needles and tests and blood even the scent of doctors' offices...

I totally understand the dislike of needles as I have a major needle phobia but when I was told I needed to have an IV for 2 hours to bring down my high NK cells I sucked it up and did it, no matter how awful it was I just kept thinking of how bad I want that baby. It may not be fun dear but the outcome is so worth it!