Anyone ever rethink TTC

[crystal443]

Crystal, are you doing an egg share?

No, we did ask if they had an egg share program but they don't Here's the link of the clinic we use https://www.mivf.com.au/ There's egg donation and they prefer that you donate after you're finished having children.

 

[Garnet]

I guess as I get older I keep rethinking it, however my older children are grown and independent and my youngest is only 3. Also after 2 MCs, I'm wondering if it is in the plans for us.

 

[Natsby]

I rethink it all the time, do I really want to be tied to my OH for the rest of my life? Do I really want to share the time I have to sculpt with kids. Can we afford it? Can the planet cope with yet more people? Will we cope?

But at the end of the day I think all of these thoughts are about being responsible, not just diving in without thinking. I can´t imagine not having kids, I hope I never have to come to the point where I seriously have to. For now I will keep trying and hoping. fingers crossed.

 

[readyformore]

Crystal- thank you for posting this (not sure how I've missed this topic for the last couple of days).

Anyway, I get what you're saying. Even though my kids are younger (8, 6, and 2) I often wonder if I'm making the right decision.

I mean, sometimes, I feel like a really ineffective parent. My kids are running around crazy, my house is a mess, I feel like I'm yelling all the time. Why in the world do I want more?!?

Even at 2 (3 in November) my daughter is getting so much more independant and life is getting easier. We can all go out to dinner without having to leave halfway through to walk around a crabby baby, or fling out a breast to nurse at the restaurant table.

I feel really stretched when they all want my attention. It's complicated/confusing/overwhelming when they all want to say something at the same time. By the time you get to the last person that spoke up, well, he's 6 and by now he's forgotten what he wanted to say. So really, he's getting ignored. How's that for self-esteem?

Sorry, maybe I'm ranting here, but yeah. . . . . . it's been on my mind a lot too.
Am I making the right decision, etc. TTC just seems to have taken such a bad turn in my life anyway. I just wish the desire to have a baby would die.

 

[dachsundmom]

Ready, you brought up something that I am very nervous about; I've never had to share my time with more than on child.

DD is 14 and has a life of her own, but she is a teen and I hate to think that she'd feel replaced or that somehow she wasn't enough.

Is the priority really, pick which kid is bleeding the most and work your way down? LOL

 

[readyformore]

Ready, you brought up something that I am very nervous about; I've never had to share my time with more than on child.

DD is 14 and has a life of her own, but she is a teen and I hate to think that she'd feel replaced or that somehow she wasn't enough.

Is the priority really, pick which kid is bleeding the most and work your way down? LOL

Yeah, sometimes it is, lol. Blood=immediate attention

Your daughter's not going to be replaced, it's more that there's an addition. . . she comes with the package too. You'll find a way to include her, I have no doubt.

And you know you're projecting, right?
Have you asked her how she would feel?

 

[dachsundmom]

You know that people who go into psych are only doing it for the required free therapy, right? lol

About 3 months ago DD found my pee stick stash and I threw my BFF under the bus and said they were hers...

DD made it clear that she loved being an only child and thanked me for not having more kids; since then I have been afraid to bring it up.

It's taken so long, I've never seen the point to open the conversation.

But, I am planning on having her talk to someone after we start pursuing adoption. I am hoping that she will be more open about it if she knows she can rant to someone and they'll keep it confidential.

 

[readyformore]

You know that people who go into psych are only doing it for the required free therapy, right? lol

About 3 months ago DD found my pee stick stash and I threw my BFF under the bus and said they were hers...

DD made it clear that she loved being an only child and thanked me for not having more kids; since then I have been afraid to bring it up.

It's taken so long, I've never seen the point to open the conversation.

But, I am planning on having her talk to someone after we start pursuing adoption. I am hoping that she will be more open about it if she knows she can rant to someone and they'll keep it confidential.

She also doesn't know any different either. She thanked you, but she doesn't know what it's like to have a sibling.
She may thank you when she does have one.

That sounds all sunny and cheerful, which is not me, but it really is the truth.
Somehow, my kids still ask for another baby. My DD breaks toys, ruins their things, screams, steals attention, makes a mess, and yet ....... they think I should have another!
Go figure!

 

[crystal443]

DMom, I can guarantee when DD is older (probably an adult) she'll be glad she's got a sibling I only have 1 brother who's 2 years older and I'm soooo glad I have him especially when Dad died. I realized how lucky I was to not be an only child, your DD has a great point though..her life is probably fantastic as it is but she won't know what she's been missing until she has it My two go back and forth on whether they want a new baby in the house as well..some of it is how it might hold them back, some I'm sure is to do with attention, and some of it maybe is they're worried they won't be the most important anymore..talk to her about it and if she really is opposed it gives you time to make it ok with her

 

[dachsundmom]

Crystal, I am an only child and so is my father, lol.

The only time I would have liked to have had a sibling was when my mother passed, but to be entirely honest with you...I love being a lonely only, lol.

 

[googly]

Just to present the flip side - my DH is an only child and he actively (still) *resents* his parents for being so! He is adamant we either have 2 or none...

 

[LancyLass]

I haven't rethought TTC because we haven't been going at it long enough... but wondering whether to TTC in the first place... that's a different story. That's why I'm now at age 37 and only TTC#1! If I think about it logically I can't think of any reason why having a kid would be a good idea. But nature says otherwise and for some reason I just do! So we decided to let natural instinct take over and stop debating the pros and cons. (Although nature's buggering around with us now by making it harder .)

 

[crystal443]

Crystal, I am an only child and so is my father, lol.

The only time I would have liked to have had a sibling was when my mother passed, but to be entirely honest with you...I love being a lonely only, lol.

I can understand that

 

[crystal443]

I haven't rethought TTC because we haven't been going at it long enough... but wondering whether to TTC in the first place... that's a different story. That's why I'm now at age 37 and only TTC#1! If I think about it logically I can't think of any reason why having a kid would be a good idea. But nature says otherwise and for some reason I just do! So we decided to let natural instinct take over and stop debating the pros and cons. (Although nature's buggering around with us now by making it harder .)

Nature likes to play with us Especially once we start TTC,lol

 

[readyformore]

If I think about it logically I can't think of any reason why having a kid would be a good idea.

Ok, I know that this was not your intent here, but I found this hysterical.

It really made me laugh, and I haven't done that 1 single time yet today.
So....... thanks

 

[alison29]

I rethink ttc in those early morning hours like 5 am when it is SOOOO nice to sleep but infants are usually up and ready to role. Also, during flu season I think do we really want to go through an entire year and half of daycare sickness again it is really miserable having a sore throat for a month and vomiting in a garbage can while sitting on the toilet . Then i reconsider what a small sacrifice sleep and feeling well are for the blessing of having another child around. I already think a long the lines of i can't believe i have only 14.5 years left with my kids it is going tooo fast!

 

[alison29]

Crystal i felt the same way before my kids but once you have them you wonder how you could have lived before them and how selfish i was yikes! I won 't deny that I needed antidepressants post pardem though being responsible for two human beings is alot to take on at first, I was liek holy crap it's all me their lives are in my hands. I have to remind myself my dh needs attention too it is so easy to forget that he was here first after all./

 

[alison29]

oops sorry i just read you already have two kids so you know how it is I Thought you were ttc #1 and I just wanted to let you know it's worth every second of turmoil!

 

[sarahincanada]

I haven't rethought TTC because we haven't been going at it long enough... but wondering whether to TTC in the first place... that's a different story. That's why I'm now at age 37 and only TTC#1! If I think about it logically I can't think of any reason why having a kid would be a good idea. But nature says otherwise and for some reason I just do! So we decided to let natural instinct take over and stop debating the pros and cons. (Although nature's buggering around with us now by making it harder .)

you know I feel the same way, never *really* wanted kids, but always thought we'd have them 'one day'. finally at 37 thought we better try, but I never had that crazy urge. now finally after a year TTCing Ive finally hit the wall pma wise and do want a family, but Im not sure if its just because I dont like not getting results or because I finally urge a child.

Im very close to my family, so I know I will love it once it happens. My worry though is I will love it and wish Id started sooner, and want 5 more (I have 3 dogs and 3 cats because of this!!)

 

[LancyLass]

Two of you on here have now talked about your kids pucking up and catching pucking up illnesses from them... and now it's making me seriously want to rethink!!! I have a phobia about vomiting. It's part of the reason why we didn't TTC before now. The prospect of morning sickness and dealing with kids being ill scares the bejesus out of me. But we figured it's now or never at 37 so can't afford to worry about it any longer.