Anyone feel their family incomplete, but unsure of the timing?

[hello_kitty]

Hi ladies,

I keep postponing my ttc date because I am unsure when I want to add another bundle of joy to our family. Growing up, I always wanted 4 kids...maybe now I will be happy with 3, but at least 3 to complete the picture. Our family feels really balanced right now with Dh and I, and our 2 boys (but deep down I know we are not done!). At night, I have each boy on either side of me, and snuggle them to sleep, they keep each other company while I am busy doing house chores or work on something. I just dont have the urge to be pregnant at the moment...although when I suspect an "accident" I get all excited and so does dh. My youngest is turning 2 and he is an adorable cherub, when I look at him I felt so happy that I didnt rob him of the baby status had I gotten pregnant earlier. Dh and I originally wanted to ttc back in January, but postphoned it once again because we want to visit in laws next year, and I wasnt as upset as I thought I would be.

Its such a confusing feeling. I want another, but feel content? What does that mean? I also wanted my kids close in age, but how is that going to happen with the last child? Has anyone ever experienced this?

 

[Kelskiii]

I feel the same with trying for #2 I really want another baby, maybe #3 at some point too but at the moment I keep extending the ttc date.

I think my reasons for changing the dates are R turned 2 in December, we are currently potty training & she rarely sleeps through the night .. usually waking and sharing our bed ... i'm just tired.

I think when my baby starts nursery in January the broodiness will hit again x

 

[krissie328]

I can relate. I have struggled a lot of when to ttc #2. I know we aren't done but on the other hand I haven't felt ready. It has only been recently that I haven't felt scared of ttc #2.

 

[Ziggy2]

I feel the same, feel content with my two girls but feel time is marching on and I don't want a big gap between number 2 and 3 so we are NTNP till November if it happens before then I figure it's meant to be, if not then I am going to try and draw a line under it and move on as a family if 4, I wish I felt done the decision would be so much easier then, I don't particularly find parenting easy so not sure why I want to put myself through it for longer but if we don't at least try I know I will regret it for the rest of my life

 

[alliec]

We only have one child right now and we are TTC for #2. What helped us decide was we looked at the smallest age gap that we were comfortable with (3 years) and then decided that we would discuss TTC once we got to the point that I could get pregnant.

Our son's third birthday will be this October, so around February of this year we started the conversation about whether or not we were ready to try. We decided that we wanted to add a couple of months onto the 3 year minimum and settled on a 2017 baby at the earliest.

This works for us for several reasons that might not work for other people. 1) We need Clomid to conceive. 2) We don't mind a larger age gap. 3) We only want two kids.

I was terrified of getting pregnant again after my son was born but also knew I did not want him to be an only child. I definitely do not feel that our family is complete yet. Looking at the minimum age gap we could handle really helped us decided when to pursue another child.

I'm sure you will come up with a solution that will work well for your family!

 

[hello_kitty]

Ever since I was a kid, I always pictured myself with 4 kids. Dh wanted 3 but has always been open to 4 because of me. I think what has been troubling me is the potential of having a too big age gap. Like the pp said, the max age gap I prefer is 3. I'm just not the type of parent who likes a bigger age gap between their kids. If we ttc next year based off my ticker, there will be a little over 3 year age gap between my second and the baby. Having number 4 right after is out of the question, because going from 2 to 4 in just a few years is overwhelming. He has been hinting at wanting to wait at least 2 years or even up to 4 years and then having the last 2, 1.5 years apart like these two, since the two boys will be older. Thats his initiation at solving the age gap barrier. If I wanted to have number 3 next year, he's gonna make me wait a few years after that, so number 4 will have a big age gap between no. 3 anyways.

Sorry if I sound confusing, family planning is a difficult task. I wish I were one of those people who only wanted 2 kids.

 

[krissie328]

I have actually thought about what your dh was suggesting. I'd like my two kids now and then wait at least 5 years and adopt 2 more. But that is still in the air. For now I just want to have #2 before planning any more.

 

[Yo_Yo]

I do think sometimes if you are waiting for the 'right' time, it may never happen. We are just going to ttc after our holiday.

 

[hello_kitty]

I do think sometimes if you are waiting for the 'right' time, it may never happen. We are just going to ttc after our holiday.

True, but I've seen people conceive when they werent entirely ready and that led to some resentment and complaints. My sister is a mother of 6, she had her last 5 with very small gaps and whenever I see she's always complaining. I do not want to be miserable like her.

The earliest for us is 10 months away, latest is 4 years and most likely wont go beyond that. I'll be 30 in 4 years so its not to bad if I dont feel up to it next year right?

 

[Yo_Yo]

I do think sometimes if you are waiting for the 'right' time, it may never happen. We are just going to ttc after our holiday.

True, but I've seen people conceive when they werent entirely ready and that led to some resentment and complaints. My sister is a mother of 6, she had her last 5 with very small gaps and whenever I see she's always complaining. I do not want to be miserable like her.

The earliest for us is 10 months away, latest is 4 years and most likely wont go beyond that. I'll be 30 in 4 years so its not to bad if I dont feel up to it next year right?

Time is definitely on your side, given your age! For me, there is probably lot more of a sense of urgency as I hit 30 this year. I feel old

 

[krissie328]

Oh 30 isn't that old! Okay, well I just turned 30 and I don't feel old. I definitely do feel more pressure to have another baby though. Especially since I'm pretty sure we are only having two but a third one isn't off the table. And I refuse to go past 35 and have a baby, so really I only have 3.5 years tops left to have any more kids we're gonna have. I wanted to be done by 31 but that won't happen if we have a third. It took us a lot longer to have our first than we expected to my pregnancy years got limited.

 

[hello_kitty]

30 is definitely not old!

 

[hello_kitty]

Oh 30 isn't that old! Okay, well I just turned 30 and I don't feel old. I definitely do feel more pressure to have another baby though. Especially since I'm pretty sure we are only having two but a third one isn't off the table. And I refuse to go past 35 and have a baby, so really I only have 3.5 years tops left to have any more kids we're gonna have. I wanted to be done by 31 but that won't happen if we have a third. It took us a lot longer to have our first than we expected to my pregnancy years got limited.

Same with me, I cant imagine being over 35 and pregnant, plus the age gaps between the kids would be too much. I hope to be done by 30. The reason im not looking forward to getting pregnant is because of our constant traveling. I really enjoy the road trips and traveling with the 4 of us seems easy enough.

 

[Yo_Yo]

Nice to hear people say it's not old!

I hear you ladies wanting a date you are conplete with having babies.

 

[hello_kitty]

I realize its been awhile since this thread has been active. How are you ladies?

Yo_Yo - I saw your ticker, I am very sorry for your loss hun =(.