Anyone getting sick of constant pregnancy talk?

[BadMamaJAMA]

I realize the title of this post is pretty much blasphemy, given where it's being posted...

But I'm just getting sick of talking about my pregnancy with my family and friends all the time. Maybe I'm just irritated in general lately.

As many of you know, I was really worried about telling my family, and I finally told them last week when I was visiting. I was also worried about telling my best friend - who lost her son after giving live birth at 24 weeks - and I told her a couple weeks ago. Everyone is actually thrilled.

Maybe the issue I'm having is that I'm surprised that they're happy. I thought they'd all be upset for one reason or another.

The end result being: I'm kind of overwhelmed with everyone and all their excitement for me. I know. I'm a jerk.

Basically, my stepmom and my best friend have both inundated me with books like What to Expect. My stepmom (also pregnant.. story for another day) wants to talk about which super-expensive prenatal vitamin I'm on or whether I plan to schedule a C-section. I'm more of a no-frills mom... Plus, she seems to have forgotten I'm a stepmother myself and wants to give me all this advice about giving kids snacks, as if you need to be a Mensa candidate to put Goldfish on a napkin.

My best friend tells me I *have* to be on Pinterest and I *need* to follow certain pages on Facebook. She doesn't work (neither does my stepmom), so she has all this time to grow fresh veggies in the backyard and grind her own meat or whatever else.. all things I *have* to do, or else... I dunno, my baby might come out a martian.

The thing is, unlike my stepmom (who, at 50, has reached advanced maternal age) and my best friend (who has had several losses) - I'm very fortunate to be incredibly healthy without all the fuss. My docs are thrilled with my weight, blood pressure, vitals, etc. The baby is perfectly on target and has the lowest risk possible for DS or Trisomy. I'm grateful for all their advice.. but I'm just overwhelmed at this point.. and don't really feel like I need it.

The other thing is, I work full-time. If I didn't, I'm sure I'd be doing nothing but pregnancy-related research, etc, all the time. My mom wants a bump picture every day, and I suppose I'd be more inclined to take one if I didn't want to go to sleep the second I got home.

I'm not going to tell anyone to back off because it's not worth it. Just wanted to vent. Anyone else feeling this way?

 

[Balloo]

I felt that way throughout my pregnancy and the only advice I can offer is smile and nod! I got to,d by every Tom, dick and Harry the right thing to do and the right way to do it...blah blah blah. Some advice I found really useful but mostly I just ignored it and did it mine and my partners way and guess what?! Perfectly Healthy baby, advanced in many milestones and doesn't have any extra fingers or toes *shock horror*!!!!! Basically just smile and nod, sift through all the 'helpful' advice and find the stuff that actually is helpful (my best piece of advice ever given was dont send the money on gaviscon as it doesn't always work. Go for the cheap stuff on morissons or boots. Much more effective!!lol) and ignore the rest! Xx

 

[BadMamaJAMA]

Thank you! Makes me think of Ben from Knocked Up... "I didn’t read the baby books! What’s gonna happen? How did anyone ever give birth without a baby book?! That’s right, the ancient Egyptians f*****g engraved ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting’ on the pyramid walls! I forgot about that!"

 

[AC1987]

I mostly don't mind it, though when I was preg with my first, I did hate hearing the advice all the time.

 

[sara1983]

I know how you feel for sure. My mom emails me almost everyday to ask how I'm feeling and if I'm "eating". I know it's only because she cares, but I think she thinks I am unable to take care of myself and that I would forget to eat if she didn't email me to remind me.

I am one of the first of my friends to have kids even though I'm 29, so I'm not really getting advice from them, but I think I would go crazy if I did.

I also work full time and all I want to do is come home and sleep, I will worry about the rest of it when the time comes!

 

[Mrs Doddy]

not many people know yet so I don't have that problem, however I do remember last time at work I wasn't allowed to do anything I felt like I was in a cotton wool bubble !!! got a bit annoying !

 

[BadMamaJAMA]

Thanks for your input, ladies! I think sometimes it's hard for people to realize that pregnant women are women first, pregnant second. We do in fact have lives outside of gestation.. thank goodness, because it can be a pretty unpleasant process at times!

I can't fault people for just being so excited they want to talk about it all the time, and of course tell me all about their own experiences. As PP said, I just gotta smile and nod, smile and nod...

 

[megrenade]

My best friend tells me I *have* to be on Pinterest and I *need* to follow certain pages on Facebook. She doesn't work (neither does my stepmom), so she has all this time to grow fresh veggies in the backyard and grind her own meat or whatever else.. all things I *have* to do, or else... I dunno, my baby might come out a martian.

The other thing is, I work full-time. If I didn't, I'm sure I'd be doing nothing but pregnancy-related research, etc, all the time. My mom wants a bump picture every day, and I suppose I'd be more inclined to take one if I didn't want to go to sleep the second I got home.

I'm not trying to start an argument, but it was a little insulting to read this.. like being a stay at home mother is easier than working full-time. I hate to break it to you, but caring for a child is 100x more exhausting. And when you *want* to sleep from being tired, it's not always that easy.

I give kudos to ALL mommies, whether they work OR stay at home and "sit on their ass" or whatever it is we do all day

.. But I think they are just trying to help and be supportive and try their best to make sure you have a healthy baby.. I don't think they are trying to be over bearing or treat you like you don't know anything. They are HAPPY you are gonna be a mama and happy to be a part of the babies life, so try to be grateful for that.

I know it can be annoying, especially with the raging hormones and feeling like crap.. the last thing you want to do is discuss pregnancy. So don't think I'm not trying to be sympathetic.. you just have to look at things from different perspectives.

Hope it gets better for you

 

[overcomer79]

oh geez let's not get into comparing how much more exhausting it is to be a sahm mom vs working full time *rolls eyes*

 

[megrenade]

oh geez let's not get into comparing how much more exhausting it is to be a sahm mom vs working full time *rolls eyes*

You must not have read the whole post I meant that they are equally as challenging and SAHM's don't just sit on their ass all day like most people seem to think.

Also, OP is still pregnant with her 1st (as far as I can see) so I don't expect her to understand the exhaustion of caring for a baby yet.. but everyone finds out sooner or later

 

[BadMamaJAMA]

I wasn't saying that, megrenade. I'm sorry if you took it that way.

My best friend doesn't have any (living) kids, so she's not a SAHM. She's between jobs at the moment, so she spends her time gardening and cooking, etc. That's really great, and I'm jealous... just... she has a lot more time to do pregnancy-related research than I do.

My stepmom is a SAHM (but had a nanny when my half-sister was first born). However, by virtue of being much older, I think she's had a lot more time in her life to learn about this stuff. She waited 45 years to be a mom, so she was ready!

I don't think I wouldn't be tired if I were a SAHM. I don't have any (bio) kids yet, and my stepdaughter is in school. So most of the day I wouldn't have much to do, if I stayed home at this point. My work is exhausting (just as staying home with a LO would be), so now that I'm pregnant, I want to sleep when I got home. ...All I was saying.

Anyway, I have no issue with SAHMs, and I'm sorry if I gave you that impression. I know it's a lot of work; my mom did it. It's way too expensive where I live for me not to work. I'd love to stay with my LO, if I could.

 

[sojourn]

I am with you. I am sick of people forgetting that I am a person.

My MIL calls me "prego" or "mama" instead of my name, she pats my belly and asks "how's baby". Never my name and never "How are you?" I already hate her, but being a f#@&ing incubator is not in my plans. I also just loooove when she gives me mothering advice. From her home in a mental institution.

Most of my friends are really good about getting to other subjects quickly, but most of them don't have children, so they are used to talking to me about regular things.

Also, if I hear one more person say "just wait" or "you can't understand yet" (as has already appeared in this thread), I might just punch someone. Does anyone ever realize how insulting and condescending that is?

Yes, I realize when I have an infant I'll be tired. I haven't been living under a freaking rock my entire life. That DOESN'T mean that I am not tired now.

I can understand how hard it is to put on socks and soothe a crying baby. You know why? Because I have freaking DONE it! Between being a live-in nanny, a pre-school teacher, elementary teacher and having babysat for the last FIFTEEN years I THINK I can manage to wrap my tiny little brain about the difficulties of day to day tasks with children. Oh, you holier than thou mother of one two year old with zero prior childcare experience.

Urgh...
Sorry...That was a bit ranty. I am just incredibly sick of being treated like an infantile idiot simply because I happen to be gestating. I am a smart and capable person with many varied interests and activities. Perhaps I don't want everyone obsessing about the 1.5 inch long thing inside of me at my expense.

 

[Smiler82]

You know I kind of felt like this when we were planning our wedding...everuone who was married wanted to tell us the best way to do x y or z. Yeah it's because they're excited for you but partly I think because most people like to talk about themselves! I have found myself smiling and nodding a lot then just letting it wash over me. People are just excited for you and love a chance to relate their own exoerience whether you want to hear it or not. You wait til you're near your due date, then you really need to find a way to stop ppl telling you their nightmare birth stories!! I'm days away and getting fed up with all of it. Not all my friends have kids and actually find myself wanting to talk to them more because we have minimal baby talk, then move onto other subjects which is refreshing

 

[BadMamaJAMA]

Yeah it's because they're excited for you but partly I think because most people like to talk about themselves!

THIS!!! I'm thinking about getting a T-shirt that says "My pregnancy is not about you."

 

[liveandlove04]

Girl yes!!!! It doesn't help that I've been at my job for a few years so everyone I see wants to talk about my pregnancy even my customers. Plus one of my coworkers is due a da before me and every time she sees me it's like a pregnancy comparison and it drives me insane.

 

[bekkie]

I'm tired of the sympathetic 'how are you feeling?' question from co-workers that I'm really just on a casual basis with..

I feel fine, yes I'm still pregnant, yes I'm still working... can we talk about something... anything... else.