Anyone had a nice hospital birth after a horrible one?

[mumatmadhouse]

Just looking for some reassurance really. My last 2 babies have been born at the birthing centre and have been amazing experiences. This time it looks like I will have to birth at the hospital. My last hospital birth ws with my 3rd and it was an awful experience. I had been having a stop start labour for about a week or so before the big day. When I arrived at the hospital around 3am the mw took one look at me and dismissed that I was in labour because I was laughing and joking between contractions. She sent me into a room and left me there. When she came back she had a go at me because I had had a wee without giving her a sample, she never asked for one! She reluctantly examined me, to find I was 8cm already. Finally she gave me some g and a. I don't remember much from then until it was time to push. I remember that baby started to get stressed and then them telling me to push. There were 2mw by then. They kept insisting that I wasn't pushing. I was pushing with all I had and had done this 2 times before without intervention! They were really quite horrible to me. I assume babes hb was dropping because they started really having a go at me and saying that I needed to get this baby out now. It's all a bit of a haze in my mind but I felt scared to death for my baby's safety. I finally managed to get his head out and then they realise that the cord is wrapped twice around his neck and tight. They cut the cord there and then before I birthed the rest of him! I remember his first apgar scores were low but not exactly what they were. The rest of him came quickly and I caught a glimpse of him. I was terrified. Finally he made a noise. We were put on the ward almost straight away and left to it. The mw even wrote on my notes "mother unwilling to push". Wth! He was born at 4.40am. They discharged us that afternoon. He had a massive haematoma that took ages to go down. I am completely freaking out about having this baby at hospital even though it was almost 13years ago and at a different hospital. Sorry for the essay but I have never really talked about it and I guess I just needed to get it out tbh. Just would be nice to hear some positive outcomes of births in hospital after a difficult birth previously. I know it wasn't as bad as some ladies have gone through but it really affected me at the time and has obviously left an issue for me with hospitals. Thanks for reading x

 

[ellahopesky]

yes! i had a horrible experience with my firstborn, from a rough birth to horrible midwives and bad aftercare. I went back there with my second and had a lovely experience. Try not to worry

 

[amelia26]

That sounds like terrible care. Sorry you had to go through that.

I had a terrible hospital birth for my first and some of the staff were shocking.
I also had things written in my notes that were untrue
(I had emergency c section with complications and was very unwell afterwards. They wrote in my notes that I appeared uninterested in the baby and unwilling to care for him - because my husband was doing all the nappy changes (too bloody right! He was perfectly healthy whereas I could barely move))


Anyway, I am booked in at a different hospital this time and I feel quite positive about it. I had a 2 night stay at 17 weeks due to bleeding and the staff were so lovely and kind. Totally different atmosphere to the other hospital.

It might help to talk to your midwife about your pueblos experience so they are aware of your worries. And when you go into hospital, tell them again about how you didn't feel listened to etc. When midwives know you had a bad time previously they will usually work to ensure you have a better time this time.


I also joined my local maternity liasion committee, which has been interesting. I've met a lot of midwives who are genuinely striving to improve women's experiences - particularly on the labour Ward. Seeing that there are midwives like that working on labour Ward has really helped me feel positive too.

 

[Rhio92]

Yes, my first birth was a nightmare, my 2nd was an amazing experience x

 

[mumatmadhouse]

Thanks ladies. I have had to spend some time on the day unit recently and I have mixed feelings about it tbh. I am going to speak to someone about it though and see if I can just talk it through. Also have a consultant app on Wednesday so I will have one last stab at seeing if they will let me birth at the centre instead, lol. Worth a shot as it's the consultant I saw with my last pregnancy and the consultant for the birthing centre x

 

[amelia26]

Sorry if I've missed it - what are the reasons they want you to have a hospital birth this time?

 

[mumatmadhouse]

Just down to low iron, my age (39) and the fact that it's baby number 6. I am on iron tablets and the plan was to check levels every 2 weeks and see what they did. Problem was that the consultant I saw last time was very dismissive about birthing centre and had the attitude that it didn't matter and was the same as a hospital birth, I put him right but think it annoyed him tbh. Then he asked about baby moving that day, I replied that I hadn't noticed him moving much that morning but that it was probably because I had been running around that morning and was stressed over the consultant appointment. He got me hooked up on a ctg and baby started doing the tango, as I guessed he would. Anyway I now have 2 episodes of rfm on my notes and that is reason to keep me under the consultant. I kinda feel like I was stitched up by the consultant because I didn't agree with him but that's probably my hormones, lol. They have put me on ctg twice a week, which is always fine, and booked me a growth scan. Scan was fine too, placenta doing its job and all was well. Got another ctg Wednesday and Friday and consultant on Wednesday after the ctg. I guess I will have to wait and see.

 

[amelia26]

You could request an appointment with the consultant midwife or supervisor of midwives. They are more likely to be open to you being at the birth centre than the consultant is and generally they are who you want to speak to if you want something that is outside of "policy"

 

[mumatmadhouse]

Thanks for the info. I wasn't aware of that. Might as well try and get hold of someone tomorrow before the consultant appointment then x

 

[amelia26]

I think not all trusts have consultant midwives (it's quite a new role) but that would be my number 1 port of call if possible.

Otherwise Supervisors or midwives can be really helpful and I believe you can contact them directly without the need for any referral.


I was/am going for vbac this time but I didn't want continuous monitoring or cannula (standard practice in vbacs) so my midwife was going to refer me to consultant midwife to discuss it and told me I could also discuss going to the birth Centre (even though a dr or normal mw would just say 'no' when you're vbac). My plans have changed due to issues in this pregnancy but from what I've heard cobsultant mws and SOMs can be really useful people to speak to.

They can also be useful to talk to about how to achieve a more natural/active birth on labour Ward, if birth Centre is ruled out. I know my Trust is doing a lot to improve experiences on labour Ward to reduce how medicalised it can feel.

 

[mumatmadhouse]

Woohoo! Saw the consultant for the birthing centre and he is happy for me to aim for the birthing centre providing my iron is ok, which is fair enough. Just need to ring the centre and book my 38 week app. Thanks for all the info, I really appreciate it.

 

[amelia26]

That's great
I hope you're iron levels are good and you get the birth you want.

 

[mumatmadhouse]

Thanks hun, I hope so too.

 

[MrsHopeful]

I too had an awful hospital experience with awful labour midwives (a mixture of good and bad midwives afterwards).....fingers crossed we have a better experience this time.

 

[mumatmadhouse]

Well, I didn't get the labour I hoped for as there were complications, but the staff could not be faulted. For all my fears of a hospital birth it turned out to be a blessing that I ended up birthing there. All of the staff were very good and very efficient and I really couldn't thank them enough. X

 

[Blu10]

Congratulations x

 

[amelia26]

Congratulations. Sorry the birth didn't go well but I'm glad you were well looked after.

I hope you and baby are doing ok.
X