Anyone had experience with babies close together AND years apart?

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by Kalah, Jan 30, 2011.

  1. Kalah

    Kalah Guest

    Like the topic says, anyone had experience with babies close in age (within 2/3 years of each other) AND babies far apart?

    Basically I am either going to start TTC this year or wait about 9 years. I'm 20 so I've got a bit of time. I do have some other things that could get in the way, but I'm not factoring those in to this decision. I would wait 9 years so I could completely finish school, and I won't even be starting until this LO is about 3. I'm just not sure if I should get the baby stages done with now, or wait until later when I'm already done with everything.

    Also wondering if anyone with two close in age have gone back to school and how it worked out? Did you find it extremely hard since you have two? Do you think it would have been about the same with just one? I would be waiting till the youngest is at least 3.
     
  2. LankyDoodle

    LankyDoodle Well-Known Member

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    I am having a similar quandary, but I am 28 later this year so it's more of a time issue for me. My LO is one in April and I initially wanted 18m-2y between babies, and only wanted 2 babies. However, I still have career ambitions/study to do and I just have a lot of weighing up to do in that area.
    * If I go to do my MSc this year, I know the NHS will still fully fund my study, whereas due to fee increases from next year, I probably won't receive full funding from then on. This is particularly important to me as I already have a degree and PGCE so I won't get student loans etc.
    * Childcare will be so much easier to organise with one child; my time will be less divided; I may even be able to work a few hours a week to keep some kind of income stream.
    * If I go this year, it means I need to wait until Isabella is 4 in 2014, before I can start TTC for number 2. Will my fertility be as good then? Will my OH's? Maybe that's best as due to only having 2 babies, it would I suppose be nice to spread it out a bit. Isabella then gets me to herself for a while.
    * If I have 2nd baby in the next 12-18 months as I'd initially planned, and take a job that may lead to some other career path, it means I get the baby days done together and can then concentrate more on my career in a few years, rather than going back to career and then having another gap.
    * I will still only be 31 in late 2014 so that leaves plenty of time for more babies.
    * A gap of 5 years means that we could afford to comfortably send both chn to private senior school as we will only be paying one set of fees at a time.
    * Who knows what will happen in the next few years, where we will be living, money situation etc.

    I THINK I have made the decision to go back to uni this year and do the 2 year MSc Social Work. I am still debating but I think I've decided. I can't guarantee funding will always be there or how easy I will find it to study with 2 children in tow (although my mum did with 3 under 6 as a single mum!). Chilcare costs a lot and my MIL wouldn't cope with 2 young children. It's just a few years - not long in the grand scheme of things, and considering I have wanted a baby since about 2005 and waited until the time was right (or we considered it was) and coped with waiting, I think it will be fine. It's just hard to hide those broody feelings I guess, especially when everyone around you is starting to have babies.

    At 20, I'd be tempted to go back to college and have more babies later on. If you have another now, I think you'd actually want more in the future anyway. You are still very young. But it is your decision and you have to do a pros/cons list for yourself, thinking about money, time, help from family/friends, childcare, ambitions etc.
     
  3. A3my

    A3my I am so lucky!

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    I had my girls close together and then went back to uni. It was hard work at first but at the same time I loved it. I then had a big gap before having my little boy. There's 10 years between him and his oldest sister. My girls dote on him though and he really loves them back, he gets loads of attention. I was worried about whether they'd be close with such a big age gap but they are x
     
  4. Kalah

    Kalah Guest

    would you say it's easier now with only one young baby to look after than it was when you had two young at the some time? Or is it about the same since you've still got the older two anyway?
     

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