Anyone in the same boat?

[PixieKitty]

Need some advice ladies, as I know I can't be the only one in this situation.
My OH isn't Jack's Dad, he's adopting him once he's born, I didn't cheat on him or anything, we got together after I got pregnant.
The biological dad is a complete waste of space and I'm keeping him the hell away from my baby, I was pressing charges against him a few months back for criminal injury but instead of following through, we made a deal for him to stay out of our lives, which he agreed to, and I doubt he'll go back on that.

My problem is, what do I tell Jack? And when?
Obviously he'll find out the truth, I wouldn't want to lie to him... but is there an age when it's best to say? I know if I found out my Dad wasn't really my Dad, I wouldn't care, he'd still be my Dad regardless of blood. But not all people would react like that, and I'd hate for him to find out in his teens and then be a little s**t to Dan because they're not really blood related. Arghhh it's so confusing

Any advice? x

 

[Becki77]

This is a tricky one! But i was in the same situation as you but i was the child( many years ago!!!!) I was brought up knowing that my dad was not my dad but was told by my mum that he was my new dad who loved me and would always look after me.
I knew this when i was about 2/3 years of age, and always thought of him as my dad-even now thats what he is. He was the one who brought me up and taught me all the things in life- not the guy who in my view was just a sperm donor!!!!
I did eventually meet my biological father at 18 years of age, we met afew times and 9 years later once again i have no contact with him!
In my view its best to be honest, either way i think your dad is the person who looks after you for all those years.
Good luck in whatever you decide, there is no right or wrong thing to do- just do what you think is best at the time.xx

 

[cupcake]

I think its best to be honest when the child can understand maybe at about 4/5 years old , I am not sure your problem will be him not bonding with his dad that has taken care of him all those years but rather why his biological dad isnt around or doesnt care.
For Dan your OH, you can explain that a real dad is the one that loves your mommy and takes care of you but that there is another kind of dad that helps to make you and when you are bigger mommy will tell you more if you want. Its not an easy situation but I am sure that you will be just fine. As for what to say about his real dad, I guess you gotta just be honest there too, some people even big people are not good at being dads and that it is not because of you at all.