anyone just feel like giving up?

[Greener Grass]

hi everyone, i don't post here very often but think i need to start as you are all so lovely.

I have been ttc for 20 months now (#2), i have pcos and am overweight and the fertility specialists just refuse to help me until i loose 3 stone. i have lost 1.5 but it is a constant struggle, i eat when i am upset/ emotional/stressed everything, and 20 months of ttcing is very stressful!! i am at the point where i now think it is simply never going to happen, i have tried nearly everything under the sun in hope of helping me to get pregnant and not one thing has worked, in 20 months i have not had a sniff of a bfp, it is breaking my heart, i feel like i have lost the past 20 months of my life to ttc, when we started trying i wrongly assumed we would be pregnant in a few months, i feel like i spent the first year convincing myself the next cycle would be the magic one. I feel as if ttc has sapped all my energy out and i simply do not have anything else to give and can't take one more second. at the same time i am so desperate to have a baby i'd be willing to cut my limbs off. please tell me i'm not the only one that feels like this and a big kick up the bum. thanks for listening

 

[LizMcD]

Ah hun you're not alone, i feel like this quite often!

Im 14 months ttc #1 and recently a friend of mine gave me the 'kick up the bum' i needed (after a long 'sorry for myself' rant) in telling me to be more positive because it will only happen if im thinking good thoughts. Ive managed to turn around my attitude into a positive one the past 2 weeks, i've even found myself being happy for my preg friends (weird lol!). I think this is best way to attract it to myself (lets hope this mindset remains if my a/f arrives this month!!).

I know it's hard and i too would give almost anything right now to be preg but i know it will happen , we just need to focus on what we want and be positive and patient.

Sorry this is a little philosophical but it's the state of mind that's kept me sane recently! Hope it helps in some way.

baby dust xx

 

[Sophe]

I have felt like this many times too.

Its such a hard road and you don't lnow if when the end will come

I agree with the above post, we all need to cling on and be patient and try and saty positive, i got for a few months doing this, then get down again.

Glad you decdied to post, no need to feel alone we are all in the same boat, its not a nice boat and we are gald when someonegets out... hehe but in the meantime we can all support each other and share experiences.

Good luck x

 

[Lizzy444]

Yeah, you are totally not alone. We've been TTC#1 for 18 cycles (15 months). I've tried Clomid and now am doing injections. The past week or so, I've totally gotten to the point where I really don't know if it is going to happen for us. Right now we're unexplained infertility. The doctor says I'm not a lost cause, and my explanation is that maybe this isn't the path God has for us. I am not thrilled or okay with that right now, but I'm starting to wonder.

It stinks, and I feel your pain. I'll pray for you

 

[ami1985]

i feel the same after 3 yrs TTC its crap but itll be worth it in the end when we get our BFP xxxx

 

[readyformore]

Your post was actually made me feel less lonely.

I'm cycle #17 now and I am torn between wanting to give up b/c it's too hard and infertility casts a shadow on everything in your life. But then, like you, I want a baby so badly that I'd cut off a limb to get one.

Each day I feel differently. Some days I feel that I will eventually get luck. More often though, I'm just completely discouraged.
I doesn't help that everyone around me is fertile mertile.

It really is difficult. I am just so ready and tired of waiting. Is a baby it too much to ask for? Sometimes I wonder if it is.

 

[carri1234]

I am in the same boat as all of you. I have been ttc for nearly 2 years. I had an early mc in May 2010, and nothing since. I am also overweight, and diagnosed with unexplained infertility. What a crock! It seems like everytime I start to feel "okay" with just relaxing and letting nature take its course.....someone else gets pregnant! It drives me insane!

However, I am nervous to say I think I am okay with taking time off fertility treatments for a while and see what happens (please don't let any of my friends make any "announcements" anytime soon)!

All I can say is try to hang in there and find other things to occupy your time. I feel much more relaxed this month, and am having to refrain from testing constantly. Just think, we have no control over this entire situation, only God does....so instead of driving ourselves crazy.....focus on something we CAN control. Which for me is making an effort to lose weight.

 

[eryri]

Your're definitely not alone. I've felt like giving up many times, just when I feel like I'm doing ok, I suddenly feel myself crumbling as yet another friend announces their pregnancy. We've been trying to conceive for over two years now - I've recently been diagnosed with pcos, waiting for a lap and dye. Strangely felt better after the diagnosis, like there was finally a reason for me not being pregnant.
I get through by reminding myself how lucky I am to have a wonderful husband, great family and friends. I also think my dh and I are actually much closer because of our struggle.
So hang on in there everyone, remind yourself of all the good things you already have there are many people in worse situations than us. Good luck to you all, and keep smiling.

 

[wannabemummyb]

As most of the ladies have said before you are not alone! In fact i had a similar conversation with myself today. If it's af/bfn this month i am going to do more of a ntnp thing for a couple of months, as a break! Been at this 20 months and feeling the pressure!
I told df yesterday morning that i feel like i have failed him!

 

[CryHer]

Im right there with you ladies, TTC for 1 year and nothing. But we will, I just knw it.

 

[Geewhiz]

As said before you are definately not alone.

I think I have given up, after 4 years and 3 MC's.

I'm not religous, but I do believe in fate and I don't think giving up is a bad thing. Fate obviously hasn't planned for me and my husband to have a biological child of our own, but having a baby for me wasn't about genetics. For me it was about having some-one to share our life with, about having someone to pass our life experiance on to, and having some-one to love unconditionally (other than husband & horse). So hopefully next year I'm going to start the fostering process.

I do say 'think I have given up' still having sex and not using protection, but I've stopped the pill popping, taking a test if AF is 1 day late, measuring temps ect... and using the positions that are supposed to increase chances of conception.

I've been through the 'not feeling a woman' 'letting my family down' FAILURE feelings that I'm sure everyone LTTTC has had, and I've come out the other side. If I never carry a child full term I accept that I'll miss out on the whole pregnancy experiance but then I'll also not have to go though all the negative sides of pregnancy either ( no wine of soft cheese, weight gain then having to work my butt off to loss it).

An old phase that my gran says has always stuck with me... There's more than 1 way to skin a rabbit.

My story of TTC may be coming to an end, but as that story ends another WILL start.

 

[Missus_L]

geewhiz your story is so loving. Wish you all the best in the future!

I feel the same too - ttc for 3 years and within that time I've seen far too many people gain what I have set out to do with my loving hubby! It's hard to see people announcing BFPs on my friends list on FB (thank god for the hide button!) - just hope it's me one day! I'm glad have got a very supportive hubby who gets me though everything.

 

[Armywife84]

Everyday. I WANT to give up, but I can't. There's something in me that keeps on going and says I have to keep on trying. Giving up won't get you any progress either. However, it is good to take a much needed break for a few months.

Some days are better than others.