Anyone Suffering With Post Natal Depression

[Louisa K]

Coz I am.

For me it's probably a combination of -

Getting so ill after I had the baby - I had/have a blood clot in my right lung

A midwife telling me I was definately going to die from the blood clot (which was rubbish but it affected me pretty badly)

I started to have panic attacks about dying and kept going to a&e

Finding the baby hard work

Horomones

General stress - trying to get the washing done/washing up done/cleaning the bottles etc...

I started staying with my mum who was helping me out alot with the baby and then when I decided to go back home I started getting panic attacks there (I dont feel safe there anymore coz thats where I got ill) so now I feel like my life is just falling apart.

My husband doesnt understand that im depressed, he keeps arranging people to come round to visit and that.. I dont think he gets it..

Now I just feel really depressed, really low, feel like I will never be how I was before, I was so happy, not scared to go to the shops, loved my little house, my garden and now I just dont feel anything, I feel scared and upset and very very depressed.

The panic attacks were the worst thing and they seemed to have calmed down now (i read a very good book on them which has taken the fear of the panic attack symtoms away, the racing heart, shaking hands, light headed, generally feeling like your about to have a heart attack which is awful)

I just wondered if theres anyone else who has suffered from PND coz thats what I seem to have now due to the problems I had after the birth.

The only thing that makes me smile anymore is my little baby I love him so much and I desperately want to get better for him. He needs a happy mummy..

Would really like to talk to you lot about this, I think I need some help coz ive never felt like this ever before.

ps. I went to the docs on friday so she knows now and they have given me some tablets..

 

[JennyLynn512]

Louisa, I'm so sorry what you are going through. I'm not suffering from post natal depression, but I didn't want to just read and run. I know things are hard right now and overwhelming, but hopefully it will all turn around and start looking up. You're in my thoughts! And here is a big hug...!

 

[coccyx]

Never had pnd myself so can only offer a hug . Have you spoken to your health visitor? She may offer some support or know of groups etc. Taking care of a baby /house/family and YOURSELF etc is hard work so give yourself a pat on the back.

 

[em82]

Hi, ive got 8 weeks til my baby due but I have a 6yr old. I got PND after him and feel for you. I suffered panic attacks- convinced we were going to be cuaght in the middle of a war and die! I was constanlty in tears and felt I couldnt cope with baby etc etc. I went to docs and got tablets. ANyway...... I got through it and im sure you will to. My experience is that men generally dont under stand and think they are helping when actually they make it worse!! Stick in there hun you will be fine
Dont be scared about taking the tablets either because they really can help
xx

 

[sarah_george]

Hi, my son is 3 now and I suffered the worst PND ever after he was born, it seemed to happen over night when he was 6 weeks old but it may have crept in earlier as i remember having like a really strong withdrawral symptoms after i had him and Looking back I also developed serious OCD with regards Germs and mess. I tried to keep it to myself at first, My very first full blown panic attack frightened the crap out of me (which i must add i had never heard of before so just thought i was having a heart attack and about to die) I went on to have probably about 10-15 a day lasting about 20 mins each time - it was exhausting! anyway this lead to me also getting an anxiety disorder that made me constantly feel "on edge" like something terrible was going to happen when it never actually did, I stopped answering the door and the phone and just cut myself off from everyone, I also remember that i just couldnt chill out if i wasnt doing housework i would pace the house, I realised just how bad i had got when i needed to go to town and as i was waiting at the bus stop i realised i just couldnt face having to talk to the driver never mind get on a bus! i went home in tears, I went to the docs eventually and that was soo hard, she just told me a midwife would be out to see me soon, when she eventually did I was a nervous wreck, i cryed my eyes out and I was shaking terribley ( although i used to get the shakes a lot while I had this illness anyway) she reffered me to a PND Group, it was a small group run at a local church by community Midwives, Going there was really hard too, but i knew i had to go as i couldnt keep going on behaving like i was, i spent 9 months waiting for my beautiful son and i wasnt in a place where i could enjoy him. I must have gone to about 8 sessions before i had the confidence to talk within the group but hey that was progress and once i did start and was honest about what i was feeling i realised thats lots of women go through this, and i'm sure many more suffer in silence, I would also like to add if you knew me you would think i was the last person on earth to get this as i am very outgoing and normally the life and soul of the party, I finnished the group sessions after about 12 weeks then it was a whole host of baby steps to getting well again, heres a few things i did to help me recover
Make regular time each day for yourself even if its just a nice bubble bath and try to RELAX!
Exercise! I took up Yoga while i was ill and it worked a treat at teaching me to relax
Dont expect too much of yourself, we are not wonderwomen, so what if you aint done the washhing today, it doesnt matter!!
Music, your fav cd or the radio to stop the horrible thoughts in there tracks

Right, I am now going to end this post on a positive note, since i have recovered I HAVE returned to my normal self, I have got a job i enjoy, I have passed my driving test and i will never take feeling 'normal' for granted ever again! you WILL get better, If you ever fancy a chat PM me, sorry if this was a long winded post, its a subject close to my heart and i know it can be a very lonely place when you are surrounded by people that dont understand, good luck and you WILL feel better soon xxxx

 

[sarah_george]

Oh, and you will probably notice my ticker, I am pg again and i'm crossing everything that i dont get it again. at least if i do i will know that you do eventually get better and dont feel that way forever, forgot to send you big xxx

 

[Louisa K]

Thank you for your replies ladies.. Its so nice to know there are women who have been through this and are ok now.. I get scared thinking I will never be the same again.. I feel so different now.

I think the panic attacks are the worst thing.. I've never been so scared in all my life.. I feel my heart racing and am convinced I'm going to die, then I go all light headed and think I'm going to pass out and my chest goes tight too.. its just the most horrible feeling ever.. I kept going to a&e and waiting there so long that it would just fade away.. After about the 5th trip to the hospital, I started to realise I was having these panic attacks..

Then it kind of turned nto depression last friday, I had a massive panic attack and just wouldnt go to hospital coz I knew there was nothing truely wrong with me, but it just made me feel so fed up.. fed up of not being able to do normal things without feeling anxious and panicky..

I even felt like I didnt wanna be here anymore so I knew i needed help so I asked my mum to call a doctor on saturday morning who told me I have PND.. I didnt think thats what it was at all.. but it is and im really struggling..

saying all that, I am coping with the baby, I look after him ok and I really love him alot.. I do find it hard, very hard at times, but I do everything..

I really wanted to talk to other women who know exactly how I feel so reading your stories have made me feel like there actually is a light at the end of the tunnel.. so thank you so much for taking the time to post..

 

[Louisa K]

Oh, and you will probably notice my ticker, I am pg again and i'm crossing everything that i dont get it again. at least if i do i will know that you do eventually get better and dont feel that way forever, forgot to send you big xxx

I was talking to my husband about how im never having another baby after all this.. I feel to scared to go through all this again.. how do you feel sarah.. will the doctor start you on anti depression meds while your pregnant to maybe stop it coming on this time??

I really wanted 2 kiddies.. so badly.. Im just so scared..

 

[Louisa K]

My experience is that men generally dont under stand and think they are helping when actually they make it worse!!

Core they really don't do they.. The day after the doctor confirmed I do have PND he arranged to go out to a summer fate thing with his friends and their babies.. and then he got the hump with me when I told him I wasn't up for going..

They really don't understand, he says the wrong things all the time too.. I think he thinks I should just hurry up and get better..

 

[luckyme225]

Oh hun I hope it gets better soon

 

[sarah_george]

I was talking to my husband about how im never having another baby after all this.. I feel to scared to go through all this again.. how do you feel sarah.. will the doctor start you on anti depression meds while your pregnant to maybe stop it coming on this time??

I really wanted 2 kiddies.. so badly.. Im just so scared..

No i'm not on medication, I never had it with my first just my second its not guaranteed you will get it again, its took a lot of thinking to get to the place where i was ready to go for it, I'm hoping it would be easier should it happen again as i have the knowledge from last time to try and fight it more, also I plan on putting as many support networks in place as i can and if i dont need them then thats just a bonus, I would definitly ask your doctor about the support groups, there was about 8 other women that i met at mine and the support and encouragement i got from them was amazing, men will just never understand, if you cant face that keep posting on the boards, its good to get it out in the open and know you are not alone, you did well finding out about the panic attacks because they are easier to fight when you understand them, I used to go light-headed and disorientated with mine when i was out and i found carrying a bottle of water really helped, i drank loads of it! sending you positive vibes, hope your feeling better soon xxx

 

[pepperflake]

I was talking to my husband about how im never having another baby after all this.. I feel to scared to go through all this again.. how do you feel sarah.. will the doctor start you on anti depression meds while your pregnant to maybe stop it coming on this time??

I really wanted 2 kiddies.. so badly.. Im just so scared..

I've been on wellbutrin for most of my pregnancy because of chronic depression and PND after my DD and it's been great. I know I will be able to cope with my LO gets here because I am prepared to face PND again. My dose has been low so I will be able to go up on the dose if I start to slip.

It's so scary but you are not alone. It's going to get better when your tablets start to work. It's going to take a few weeks to really start to feel different from the tablets and you will still be adjusting to everything you have gone through so don't get discouraged. Things are going to get better.

A support group sounds great but if you can't get to one, you always have us! PM me anytime!

 

[Louisa K]

Thanks ladies, i've found your posts very encouraging...

 

[cheeky_carrie]

I had PND with both ds1 and ds2 so I know how hard it is stay strong hun yuo will get thru it . Im hoping and praying Im ok this time I seem to be so fingers crossed

 

[Louisa K]

 

[Louisa K]

Thanks again everyone, i've been feeling so much better this week.. I've been out and about with the baby and done some gardening today.. I didn't think I'd ever feel normal again but I really do feel alot more like my old self!!

I think the tablets must have started to have an effect..

 

[mickey]

glad you feel better

 

[sophie]

I had it after Kai, i know how u feel hun, it dont seem it now but i promise things do get better an so will u.

 

[PitBullMommy]