Anyone with a possibly mentally unstable FOB?

[Bex1p]

Hi everyone! I only just found this single parent thread so I will introduce myself first.

My names Becky, im 27, have 2 girls Jaiden 8 and Morgan 5 and am 24 weeks pregnant with a little boy and am single....again!!!

Ok, so I was wondering if anyone has a perstering ex thats possibly mentally unstable?

We split because of a measly argument that turned into him making all kinds of threats to me, our baby and what I can only assume, my daughter in the next bedroom...example

"your gonna keep pushing me arent you until we are all dead"

And "i'll make sure your not carrying my baby, dont worry it wont hurt but it will be messy"

Then he took a knife to himself to scare me into thinking he was going to kill himself.

Now we are totally finished but he sends me flowers and allsorts and begs me to get back with him everytime we speak (which isnt often).
When I say no he talks about social services (I have no idea why, I am a good mother to my children and will be to this baby) and going to court for full custody.

I know he wont be granted that but I am worryed he may get unsupervised access as his temper is just to irratic I feel for him to be along with a baby.

He wants contact and that is fine with me aslong as its supervised until baby is abit older and I can see he is good with him and is more stable.

But if he goes to court how do I prove he could be mentally unstable??

It's such a mess, I try not to think about it but sometimes it gets to me.

Thanks for listening and thanks for any replys.

Have a nice day!

 

[Aidedhoney]

My advice hun is too keep a diary of everything he says/does with times and dates.

Not much help but didnt want to read n run xxx

 

[shaunanicole]

I agree with what Aidedhoney said. You should also save any erratic text messages, voice mails, e-mails, etc he sends. It would really benefit you in the court of law but make sure not too get too detailed in the logs as it may be seen as "irrelevant". Keep it nice, short, and simple with no emotional involvement in the logs whatsoever.

 

[sleepinbeauty]

He's not a FOB but he's still my ex-fiancé. He was exactly like what you're describing. He would put a knife in my hand and hold it to his throat. He's a terrible, controlling asshole and if I ever had his children I would have done everything in my power to keep him away. You really should do the same. Please keep us posted on this.

Save everything. Get restraining orders and the whole thing. You and your children's lives are worth more than being nice to this guy.

 

[Laura2919]

I agree with AidedHoney, Keep a diary!
The things that man has said is awful! You are well rid of that!

I hope your ok. Please dont worry I highly doubt he will get unsupervised visits when the baby is tiny anyway!

 

[Bex1p]

Thanks for all your replys.

I had to change my number because he was constantly ringing so i'll have no txts to keep and he doesnt use email.

Sometimes I feel guilty because he seems to really want to be there for the kid but thinking about it, he's pretty much admitted it's me he wants to see...i'm not sure it's to do with the baby at the minute, it could all be about control to try get me back. He doesnt take no for an answer and has said he'll always hope i'll change my mind.

When the penny finally drops it could go one of two ways, he will walk from us both or he will except nothing but sole custody.

My sister thinks he will walk as he cant seem to seperate me from the baby.

Anyway thanks for the advice! I'm not going to worry about any of it, at the end of the day i'm not going to put him on the birth certificate so I dont have to do anything I dont want too with baba for a long long while. I just feel guilty about that sometimes but I guess thats how he wants me to feel.

I will definately keep you updated

 

[scottishgal89]

my ex is similar.
threatened to kill me, himself. wanted me to get an abortion.
assaulted me when i was pregnant.
says hes going to phone a lawyer and MAKE me leave my daughter in hospital so he can be alone with her.
i swear its like he has split personalities!!
he was totally disgusting. i wont go into it again on this thread. dont want to think about it really.
i changed my number because he was harrassing me and he put me under so much stress and was shouting and swearing at me in front of little one so i have now actually stopped his contact with lo completely.
unsupervised visits will get introduced gradually when you agree to it. if you arent happy with it it goes back to court.
i cant really prove how hes acted towards me because no-one else was there but i have everything written down. texts, phonecalls, conversations. anything you can think of write it down. i know the girls above already suggested this.
dont worry about him taking you for full custody either- your not a bad mum and guys are full of empty threats- if they had the extra responsibility, they wouldnt want it.
hope i've helped a bit.
if you want to pm me if you have any questions or anything then feel free

 

[sleepinbeauty]

scottish--you've reported all of this right?! You need to have it on record so you can use it against him when he tries to take her!

 

[scottishgal89]

scottish--you've reported all of this right?! You need to have it on record so you can use it against him when he tries to take her!

yeah made a police statement, was a while later but least its there now
thanks x

 

[Bex1p]

Thanks Scottishgal

You say you made a police statement? I am wondering wether to do this too...how long can you make one afterwards amd what happens? They dont act on it do they?

I just dont want to get to court and they say "Did you report any of this to the police?" and I just say..."erm, no"

 

[scottishgal89]

they dont need to take it any further if you dont want them too
my ex assaulted me last may and i only reported it in march this year so it doesnt matter how long after as long as you do it.
feel free to pm me if you have any questions xx

 

[Bex1p]

Just a little update really....

I have had the threats and behaviour logged by the police and have a log number and i'm seeing a solicitor wednesday.

Really nervous but can't wait to know were I stand so it's all clear in my head.

 

[scottishgal89]

glad you have everything all sorted.
its such an awful position to be in. you'll be fine though
keep us posted.
xx

 

[Bex1p]

I will and thanks for your support!

How are things with you?

 

[scottishgal89]

no problem, im here anytime if you want to talk
theyre alright. my ex is driving now so im really anxious about that.
that he'll come after me and take lo.
just waiting on a court order ready xx