Anything but tearing!

[GreyGirl]

I tore, didn't feel it at the time. Had to get sewn up and it was sore to sit for a while. No pain peeing though and although uncomfortable during sex (still) I live with it. Not worried about giving birth again.

How long ago was this if you don't mind me asking?

Almost 9 months. I'm not sure if it's that it hasn't healed brilliantly, or that I haven't had enough 'use' from that area for it to get used to it again...sometimes I bleed a little after, didn't before.
Doesn't really bother me.

 

[A_Z]

I was freaked out about a bad tear or an episiotomy while I was pregnant. It was the part of labor that most worried me. I ended up having a second degree episiotomy due to LO's HR dropping, and didn't even notice, the OB was so quick about it. I recall the stitching being unpleasant, but it was so distant to everything going on that it really didn't bother me.

I had a bit of a difficult time with the healing, though I'm not sure why. No infection or anything. It just took longer than I expected and was more uncomfortable than I had thought it would be. I was mostly healed by six weeks, though. These days, no aftereffects at all.

 

[hapi2bhealthy]

I'm pretty sure most women are scared The Tearing!

But here's my story:

4 hour labour, gas and air only, 9lb baby, 40 minutes to push her out, 3rd degree tear in my perineum and a few smaller tears on my labia (they didn't tell me how many...2 more maybe??).

I did NOT feel the tearing happen. I needed gas to get stitched because I was all "PLEASE NO MORE PAIN FFS". After a vaginal birth you will be sore and swollen whether you tear or not,and sure you're a bit sore for a week or 2 afterwards but it's managed with pain relief, a doughnut pillow, urinary alkaliser, and pouring water while you pee!

Also...my sex life has NEVER BEEN BETTER. OMG!!
I don't know why, but WOW...everything feels SO MUCH BETTER than it ever has!!

So don't even worry about the tearing: if you're going to worry, worry about the hemorrhoids from the pushing, that was worse...!

 

[MummyJade]

I had a small tear, wasnt stitched so more a graze... healed easy and no problems.. you do hear horror stories but just relax and you'll be fine x

 

[purplespecs]

I had a second degree tear and I never even felt it happen! To be honest, everything down there hurts so you can't tell tearing from baby. I did feel them stitching me up though which wasn't pleasant but didn't take very long. It took a few days to be able to sit down properly without a cushion but once the soreness went away it felt (and feels now) absolutely fine. What did freak me out was when the stitches came away! I phoned my sister (who is a midwife) in complete alarm that I went to the toilet and found about 9cm of stitch thread in my knickers. She laughed but asked if nobody had warned me that might happen (which they didn't!). Apparently internal stitches dissolve but external stitches might come away - just a little heads up to you all so you don't go into panic stations like I did

 

[itsnowmyturn]

I have a slightly different story, I haven't had children but have had 2 episiotomies due to vaginal surgery for localized provoked vestibulitis (basically painful sex and pain when sitting or pressure on a certain part) I had it on July 3rd this year and still haven't been able to have sex because it feels like instead of making me bigger (in their words...giving me more capacity.....cringe!!!!) It feels like during healing its tightened up. I will absolutely refuse episiotomy during labour without doubt and will do everything in my power to not tear, if that means a longer labour so be it, baby will come when he or she is good and ready.

It's not something I will worry about but it will be in my birth plan, however if it was put to me like ur baby needs help we need to cut I wudnt hesitate. In my mind no point in worrying about what might happen in labour none are the same and u can plan all u like but baby doesn't conform lol

 

[hapi2bhealthy]

I have a slightly different story, I haven't had children but have had 2 episiotomies due to vaginal surgery for localized provoked vestibulitis (basically painful sex and pain when sitting or pressure on a certain part) I had it on July 3rd this year and still haven't been able to have sex because it feels like instead of making me bigger (in their words...giving me more capacity.....cringe!!!!) It feels like during healing its tightened up. I will absolutely refuse episiotomy during labour without doubt and will do everything in my power to not tear, if that means a longer labour so be it, baby will come when he or she is good and ready.

It's not something I will worry about but it will be in my birth plan, however if it was put to me like ur baby needs help we need to cut I wudnt hesitate. In my mind no point in worrying about what might happen in labour none are the same and u can plan all u like but baby doesn't conform lol

Sounds painful Unfortunately if you need a vacuum or forceps extraction you might not have a choice in the episiotomy, but hopefully you won't need it! As far as I know they don't "offer" it, it is only done in the case of baby needing a vac/forceps? I have a friend who healed up tighter after a birth, much the same as you I suspect? And she had vaginal surgery to fix it. The stuff we go through as ladies!!

 

[itsnowmyturn]

I have a slightly different story, I haven't had children but have had 2 episiotomies due to vaginal surgery for localized provoked vestibulitis (basically painful sex and pain when sitting or pressure on a certain part) I had it on July 3rd this year and still haven't been able to have sex because it feels like instead of making me bigger (in their words...giving me more capacity.....cringe!!!!) It feels like during healing its tightened up. I will absolutely refuse episiotomy during labour without doubt and will do everything in my power to not tear, if that means a longer labour so be it, baby will come when he or she is good and ready.

It's not something I will worry about but it will be in my birth plan, however if it was put to me like ur baby needs help we need to cut I wudnt hesitate. In my mind no point in worrying about what might happen in labour none are the same and u can plan all u like but baby doesn't conform lol

Sounds painful Unfortunately if you need a vacuum or forceps extraction you might not have a choice in the episiotomy, but hopefully you won't need it! As far as I know they don't "offer" it, it is only done in the case of baby needing a vac/forceps? I have a friend who healed up tighter after a birth, much the same as you I suspect? And she had vaginal surgery to fix it. The stuff we go through as ladies!!

Absolutely, if its needed its needed, I wud rather my baby come out safely then save my vagina lol.
The thing is the whole point of the surgery for me was to take away damaged skin and make me slightly bigger, the procedure I had is much the same as what ppl have after having epi or tear and don't heal properly or heal and are left with pain. It was slightly more complex but the basics were the same. I'm just hoping this doesn't need further surgery to deal with, there are so many things threatening my TTC date

 

[hapi2bhealthy]

I have a slightly different story, I haven't had children but have had 2 episiotomies due to vaginal surgery for localized provoked vestibulitis (basically painful sex and pain when sitting or pressure on a certain part) I had it on July 3rd this year and still haven't been able to have sex because it feels like instead of making me bigger (in their words...giving me more capacity.....cringe!!!!) It feels like during healing its tightened up. I will absolutely refuse episiotomy during labour without doubt and will do everything in my power to not tear, if that means a longer labour so be it, baby will come when he or she is good and ready.

It's not something I will worry about but it will be in my birth plan, however if it was put to me like ur baby needs help we need to cut I wudnt hesitate. In my mind no point in worrying about what might happen in labour none are the same and u can plan all u like but baby doesn't conform lol

Sounds painful Unfortunately if you need a vacuum or forceps extraction you might not have a choice in the episiotomy, but hopefully you won't need it! As far as I know they don't "offer" it, it is only done in the case of baby needing a vac/forceps? I have a friend who healed up tighter after a birth, much the same as you I suspect? And she had vaginal surgery to fix it. The stuff we go through as ladies!!

Absolutely, if its needed its needed, I wud rather my baby come out safely then save my vagina lol.
The thing is the whole point of the surgery for me was to take away damaged skin and make me slightly bigger, the procedure I had is much the same as what ppl have after having epi or tear and don't heal properly or heal and are left with pain. It was slightly more complex but the basics were the same. I'm just hoping this doesn't need further surgery to deal with, there are so many things threatening my TTC date

sounds the same as my friend, ouchie must be really nerve-wracking with TTC coming up and knowing how much "stuff" happens down that end once you're TTCing and then pregnant. At least you will be used to people being down That End for examinations and things, that can be a bit confronting at first but there's a tiny positive for you??

 

[A_Z]

I have a slightly different story, I haven't had children but have had 2 episiotomies due to vaginal surgery for localized provoked vestibulitis (basically painful sex and pain when sitting or pressure on a certain part) I had it on July 3rd this year and still haven't been able to have sex because it feels like instead of making me bigger (in their words...giving me more capacity.....cringe!!!!) It feels like during healing its tightened up. I will absolutely refuse episiotomy during labour without doubt and will do everything in my power to not tear, if that means a longer labour so be it, baby will come when he or she is good and ready.

I also had vestibulitis, though it doesn't sound like it was ever as severe as yours (I only had pain with sex, not in other areas of life). Don't give up hope! My symptoms these days are vastly reduced, and sometimes non-existant. I think giving birth helped a lot, though it took a while for my hormones to return to normal (still had pain until I got my period again).

I did have significant discomfort the first few times I had sex after giving birth, but it was a different type of pain. I could feel the scar tissue from my episiotomy stretching. These days, though, sex is way better than it was before I had my LO.

Have you worked with dilators at all since having your surgery? I'm wondering if that might help with the scar tissue.

 

[itsnowmyturn]

I have a slightly different story, I haven't had children but have had 2 episiotomies due to vaginal surgery for localized provoked vestibulitis (basically painful sex and pain when sitting or pressure on a certain part) I had it on July 3rd this year and still haven't been able to have sex because it feels like instead of making me bigger (in their words...giving me more capacity.....cringe!!!!) It feels like during healing its tightened up. I will absolutely refuse episiotomy during labour without doubt and will do everything in my power to not tear, if that means a longer labour so be it, baby will come when he or she is good and ready.

It's not something I will worry about but it will be in my birth plan, however if it was put to me like ur baby needs help we need to cut I wudnt hesitate. In my mind no point in worrying about what might happen in labour none are the same and u can plan all u like but baby doesn't conform lol

Sounds painful Unfortunately if you need a vacuum or forceps extraction you might not have a choice in the episiotomy, but hopefully you won't need it! As far as I know they don't "offer" it, it is only done in the case of baby needing a vac/forceps? I have a friend who healed up tighter after a birth, much the same as you I suspect? And she had vaginal surgery to fix it. The stuff we go through as ladies!!

Absolutely, if its needed its needed, I wud rather my baby come out safely then save my vagina lol.
The thing is the whole point of the surgery for me was to take away damaged skin and make me slightly bigger, the procedure I had is much the same as what ppl have after having epi or tear and don't heal properly or heal and are left with pain. It was slightly more complex but the basics were the same. I'm just hoping this doesn't need further surgery to deal with, there are so many things threatening my TTC date

sounds the same as my friend, ouchie must be really nerve-wracking with TTC coming up and knowing how much "stuff" happens down that end once you're TTCing and then pregnant. At least you will be used to people being down That End for examinations and things, that can be a bit confronting at first but there's a tiny positive for you??

I'm already used to it lol, I have endo as well so had lots of different ppl popping down there for inspection lol.

I have a slightly different story, I haven't had children but have had 2 episiotomies due to vaginal surgery for localized provoked vestibulitis (basically painful sex and pain when sitting or pressure on a certain part) I had it on July 3rd this year and still haven't been able to have sex because it feels like instead of making me bigger (in their words...giving me more capacity.....cringe!!!!) It feels like during healing its tightened up. I will absolutely refuse episiotomy during labour without doubt and will do everything in my power to not tear, if that means a longer labour so be it, baby will come when he or she is good and ready.

I also had vestibulitis, though it doesn't sound like it was ever as severe as yours (I only had pain with sex, not in other areas of life). Don't give up hope! My symptoms these days are vastly reduced, and sometimes non-existant. I think giving birth helped a lot, though it took a while for my hormones to return to normal (still had pain until I got my period again).

I did have significant discomfort the first few times I had sex after giving birth, but it was a different type of pain. I could feel the scar tissue from my episiotomy stretching. These days, though, sex is way better than it was before I had my LO.

Have you worked with dilators at all since having your surgery? I'm wondering if that might help with the scar tissue.

I haven't had dilators but my gynae doesn't seem to be on the ball despite being a very well known and successful one (i haven't even had my follow up yet and its been about 10 weeks). It does feel like the scars are going to tear when we try, I no they prob won't but that's how it feels and its quite painful. I'm hoping I can get to the point ur at xx