Are my fears justified?

[Munchkin30]

Hey all,

I'm 11+4 and have my 12 week scan on monday. I've had 2 scans already, one at 8+1 and one at 9+5 and baby was measuring 2 days ahead each time. At the last one i saw it's legs kicking and heard the heartbeat.

The trouble is i had a MMC in July and found out at the 12 week scan after no spotting or cramping that baby was only measuring 8+6 with no heartbeat.

I've been pretty good through the pregnancy and apart from a few wobbles i think i've coped pretty well. But right now as the scan looms i'm terrified. I almost don't want to think positively because my hopes will be dashed. I'm scared of buying any maternity clothes, look at stuff about the pregnancy, and recently i've not even been on here much (and as you can see on the left that's pretty unusual!!)

My question is am i right to be terrified or am i being silly and everything will be ok? I understand why i'm terrified but i kind of want to know if i'm being irrational or not!!

Thanks all xxx

 

[pandi77]

When you had your mmc did you have a prior scan where the heartbeat was seen? The chance of miscarriage goes way down after a heartbeat is seen.

 

[Munchkin30]

I did see a heartbeat at 8 weeks bu baby was only measuring 6+4. I asked the us tech and my midwife and they both said so long as you'd seen the heartbeat there was nothing to worry about!

 

[Mummafrog]

I think it's a good sign that you saw a healthy baby that is clearly growing well only a few weeks ago.. definitely made it further than the first time eh? Everyone panics about the 12 week scan it seems and it is ever so much worse for people who have had losses, my heart goes out to you.
I was so worried and I haven't had a loss. What really helped me was that I managed to find the hb with my doppler two days before the scan and that just lifted my fears and let me enjoy the scan.
Do you have a doppler?
Also I could feel my stomach hardening.. and I thought well surely my uterus wouldn't be growing if I'd had a mmc. Can you feel your tummy getting hard yet, above your pubic bone?
I don't think you're being silly, but that's not because I think things will be wrong, it's because everyone worries and it's not always rational.
I hope this scan helps you let go of the fears from last time and enjoy this pregnancy.
Wishing you lots of luck!

 

[Munchkin30]

Thank you! I do have a Doppler, last tried it at 9 weeks which made me go for the second scan!! Been scared of trying it again but maybe now I'm further on its worth another go??

 

[Celesse]

Rational...maybe, maybe not. Statistically I'm sure you know that baby will be ok. Seeing a heart beat on a baby measuring to date is different from seeing a heart beat on a baby measuring behind when you are sure of your dates, whatever the midwife might have said.

Justified.... for sure. I think part of going through something traumatic like a miscarriage and coming to terms with it is reliving it. You could relive it on an anniversary or in the case of a pregnancy each milestone you pass. I'm sure you must be thinking at every stage what you were doing at the same stage last pregnancy. I've had 5 scans this pregnancy, the first 2 all I could think about on the journey to the hospital was what I'd been thinking on the journey to the hospital the day my MMC was confirmed.

 

[Mummafrog]

Well you should only use a doppler if you are able to remain calm and not let it do more harm than good to your stress levels if you can't find the hb! hehe.
I got mine at about 8 weeks, I tried to find the hb weekly from 9 weeks and I couldn't find it till I was just about 12 weeks. You have to remember that baby is buried deep in your pelvis until 12 weeks so you've got to have a powerful doppler to travel far enough to pick it up if you angle it down under the pubic bone.
By 11-12 weeks if you put the doppler centrally, just on the line where your pubic bone finishes or a little bit higher and move very slowly, angling the doppler around you may find it. The trick is to find the placenta wooshing noises near the centre (probably not towards the sides) and then angle it around and try to find the beat.
If you want to be sure it's not your pulse you're hearing, check your own wrist pulse at the same time and make sure they are not in sync.

Hope this helps, but I don't think you should give it a go unless you can keep yourself calm and remember just how tiny the baby's heart is so you have to have the doppler in the -exact- right spot and angle which isn't easy! It still takes me at least five minutes to find my baby and I'm 18 weeks

 

[Tulip]

Pregnancy After Loss is absolutely PETRIFYING, I'm not surprised you're worried. I am completely irrational and have been since BFP. As soon as we pass one milestone (heartbeat seen, measuring to dates) I find myself panicking about the next. I *know* I can grow a baby with a complete neural tube, DS is proof and I've taken all my meds; now I'm freaking out about whether the nuchal fold will be ok. I was studying my dating scan pics for a nasal bone.

BUT Celesse is right (this lady always speaks a lot of sense!) Statistically with a baby measuring to dates and with a hb at 9+5 your risk of mc is something like 1.5%. This is a massive step forward from your pregnancy that did seem to be failing at 8w.

Unfortunately this is where a lifetime of worry starts - my rainbow baby is now three and I'm worrying about his diet and getting him into the right preschool so he will get a yr 1 place at our local primary in 2015!

Welcome to motherhood, take it a day at a time and don't berate yourself for worrying. Repeat after me: "Today I am pregnant and my baby is well"

 

[Munchkin30]

Thank you everyone this does really help . Just lovely to share my fears with people that get it xx

Celesse it's true, every stage I've flashed back to my last pregnancy. How did I feel at this stage? Was I as pudgy? Was I as nauseous ? And on Monday I will go back to the same waiting room I sat in before my 12 week scan and probably stare at the same screen where I saw the lifeless blob ! So praying I can replace that memory with a good one. My dd's 1 2 wk scan was there and it was amazing , maybe I'll try and focus on the memory of that instead .

Mummafrog I can't guarantee I won't get the crazies with the Doppler so I think I'm safer leaving it til it'll be easier to find hopefully !

Tulip I still check my 2 year old is breathing every night before I go to bed and if she wakes up late I panic! And I remember late in pregnancy I used to put cold cans on my tummy and poke her if she hadn't moved for a bit . Probably why she was such a terrible sleeper !

Seriously though ladies , thanks so much for your support xxx

 

[Tulip]

Yeah my DS always had playtime in my belly at 3am so if I woke up and he wasn't wriggling I'd panic and eat an ice cube

 

[dan-o]

I think its only natural to worry when you've had losses. Sounds like everything is ticking along lovely tho, bet the next scan is perfect!

 

[pegi]

im also very worried about my 12 week scan, i cant seem to get my head round that so far everything is going well i keep thinking back to my previous losses and comparing them and i know i shouldnt but i cant help it.

sending you lots of hugs and i'm sure youll be fine xxx

 

[EarthMama]

I think you are having some lingering post traumatic stress from your MMC...I know I have that too from mine.

I think based on what you said the odds are good for a wonderful scan. Try not to worry, you're likely just processing through some old fear left over from your MMC, not having to do with this current pregnancy.

 

[Munchkin30]

Thanks ladies . Yes it probably is a bit of post traumatic stress. I think I might have to take some good music to the scan and just try and zone out til we go in or I'll be a nervous wreck.

 

[Munchkin30]

Well ladies after a super anxious night I dug out the Doppler thinking 'i can't feel any worse anyway' and within a few minutes I found a lovely 156ish Bpm for a good few minutes right in the middle above my pubic bone. It was beautifully loud and clear and moved and I found it again straight away. Feeling lots better. Love the Doppler now xxx

 

[Mummafrog]

Woohooo well done, so happy it helped you and remember if you're getting the baby's hb just above the pubic bone then the pregnancy is most likely starting to grow above the pelvis now as it should. Relax and enjoy your scan

 

[Tulip]

 

[Munchkin30]

Well thank you so much lady's. I was shaking and nearly in tears as I went in to the scan room, which was the same one as last time, but baby looks great and was measuring 4 days ahead so I'm even closer to getting out of this awful trimester!!
Your support and posts have been such a help and comfort xx

 

[Munchkin30]

In fact I'm now due same day as you tulip!

 

[Tess.ie]

That's wonderful, I'm really happy that you had such a great scan. The pic is lovely, it's a cute baba already!!!