Are you also being flooded with unasked advice from everyone?

[Eriamel]

Our friends and family mean well and want to help. And it most likely is also the pregnancy hormones that make it all sound that extra little bit irritating when they do it...

But doesn't it just make you want to bang your head against the wall when yet another person starts preaching "how" you should do things what you "have" to buy how you "have" to do this or that. I found that even this early on people have been asking me the most personal questions and I don't feel like talking about these things sometimes. "Are you going to breastfeed" "what kind of delivery do you intend to have" "are you going to vaccinate". And whatever your answer is, they will always make sure you have heard their opinion.

I guess I was hoping it wouldn't start this early on.. But the moment people find out you are pregnant they start flooding you with unsolicited advice.

I've been lucky that my husband shuts them down most of the time when they disagree with me and feel they have to convert me somehow to another opinion. I just breathe in and out and keep telling myself they just want to help. .

Have any other first-time pregnant ladies gone through this ?
Have you yourself done it ?

How do you deal with it ?

 

[notmommyyet]

Nope cause I put everybody in their place with my first. Even then I would cut them off and say "you raised yours I know how I am going to raise mine"

 

[_jellybean_]

Yeah...even with my second, I got a lot of advice. People are trying to be helpful most of the time (sometimes they're being nosy though). Maybe just try changing the subject, or say that talking about these things stresses you out (no one wants to stress out a pregnant woman--well, no one that I know, but I'm sure there are some people that don't care). Sorry you're having a hard time. Tbh, it doesn't stop when you have kids--I find that I get more advice now because there are so many different parenting styles. I just listen, and if I'm getting annoyed, I say "every family is different, and what works for one, doesn't work for all."

 

[KeepingHope12]

I got this a lot when I was pregnant with my 1st. I understand that a lot of the time, they are just trying to 'help' and make sure that you've got time to think about everything.. Sometimes, certain people just like to be nosy. Either way, it can get annoying. No one really needs to know about what kind of birth you want, if the baby was planned, etc. After a while, I stopped being so polite (to the really rude, nosy questions) and started giving snarky answers. Also, "Good thing its my baby, not yours" gets the point across really quick when someone is telling you what you 'should' do.

 

[purplecupcake]

Just from my mother in law, and it's very frustrating because she believes a lot of things that aren't true and when I tell her that she is wrong she then says something like "well okkaaayyyy", like I'm the dumb one putting my baby at risk or something. Ugh.

 

[Eriamel]

Oh yeah, my MIL is like that too but years of experience with her have caused me to not really hear her talk anymore when she opens her mouth... as long as I've known her she says nothing but dumb rude and judgmental things and no one takes her serious anymore, so all the baby advice she gives me I don't even hear. It's more people I don't even really know that try to give me their advice that rubs me the wrong way.. My own mom hasn't even been doing this and if anyone she's the one that should! But then these acquaintances I have met 3 times through my husband, or random people at my husband's job will insist I follow their advice..

 

[ItsJana]

Yes, but mostly when I was pregnant with my first. Then later from a "friend" who turned out to be just someone with a controlling personality and thought she had to have her say in how all her "friend's" Kids were raised. The best advice you can get is to not listen to anyone's advice, very few times there is actually anything useful in it.

 

[purplecupcake]

My MIL told me if I keep eating spicy food I will give my baby acid reflux and that I need to stop swearing now that he can hear me. Fuck off, woman!