are you really meant to be more fertile after mc? :/

[hayley_m]

I had a miscarriage in october and every month seems to be getting harder. Every cycle Ive used opk's, etc, but nothing is happening for me. Am i stressing too much? Its so hard not to, its all i can think about?
I started my cycle today... so means i will have to wait another 35 days, just to find out i'm not pregnant again
Has anyone else had difficulties after mc but then fallen?
People can be so insensitive too, its only been 5 months, i'd still be pregnant now. Do they think you forget after a few weeks???
sorry to rant
x

 

[Hanskiz]

So sorry for your loss

It seems that everyone is different. I have read that you are supposed to be more fertile after a m/c too but I don't know if it really means anything.

Just to clarify - you said you were using OPKs - are you definitely ovulating then?
If so I don't know what to suggest. It is very stressful TTC, especially after a loss - it could be the stress that is preventing you from getting pregnant. I know of a few couples who struggled for years to conceive - then went on holiday and bingo! A common theme seems to be the time of day you DTD. I did read somewhere that the quality of sperm in the eve is not as good as that in the morning... Maybe take a day off work when you're next OVing and dedicate it to DTD??

I really don't know.. I hope that you manage it soon.

 

[baileykenz]

i am not sure hun as i only had erpc last week so my cycles are know where to be seen as yet..
rant as much as u like we are here to listen..

 

[hayley_m]

thank you for that! i have 3 weeks off work as off yesterday.... so should be ovulating just before i go back. the opk's say i am, and i always feel like i am pregnant (all in the head?!?!), but i get so exhausted (nap for hours.. then still sleep at night), and bad cramps/back ache way before my cycle starts.... is it possible that i have problems implanting?! hope not
.....3 weeks off work should hopefully de-stress me, and will try in the mornings more around time of ovulation
thanks for your help

 

[Hanskiz]

FX'd for you....

 

[baileykenz]

gl hun x

 

[Miss_C]

firstly big hugs honey it really is a difficult journey isn't it

Can I make a suggestion that this month you start taking your temperature. The OPK's only predict the LH surge which is the oush the egg needs to pop out of the ovary. The only way to confirm the egg was released is to record your temperaturesd and after O you will see your temp go up and then stay up for at least 3 days to confirm.

Temp must be taken at the same time each day before you get out of bed, no sitting up no peeing nothing simply reach your arm out and pop the thermometer in. Vaginal is best as open mouth sleeping saliva etc can effect te readings. Even if you don't want to chart just write the numbers down each day.

Good luck sweetheart

 

[Miss_C]

oh and don't forget spermies need about 12 hours after release to get themselves ready to meet the egg so you need to get them up there ready and waiting before the egg pops out!!

 

[hayley_m]

good advice. i'm gona have a look at the shop on ebay which i get my opk's from!!! thanks
i usually start trying properly 2 days before ovulating, but the temperature recording should definitely help. i kept putting it off cus i always thought the next month would bring my baby but you're right. youve given me that push

 

[Miss_C]

just in case you need another push, my surge comes on hard and fast but short but I have to be peeing on a stick 4 or 5 times a day to catch it and it;s at night most get surge in the afternoon! And most say O is anywhere from 12-48 hours after surge - seems my O is immediately after surge which I discovered by temping, thought I was Oing on day 12 but temps confirmed day 10!! The cycle we dtd on cd 8 and 9 we got the BFP!

 

[hayley_m]

thats a big help. just bought thermometer. fingers crossed! x

 

[MsJMouse]

Good luck with the temping. The month I got my BFP was the month I actually bothered to try taking my temp each morning regularly.

 

[bellamamma]

Sorry about your loss hayley (my niece has the same spelling/name!)- I haven't been more fertile after mc like they all say, maybe not all of us are the same. It took me 9 months after the first, and now I'm at 4 months after and my cycle and body are just feeling "back to normal" so I'm hoping it won't be much longer till I get a bfp! It might take a bit longer, hun, but you'll get there! Lots of hugs and baby dust....

 

[Elizabethifgr]

Hi everyone. Just saw this thread and thought I'd share my story.

I first starting TTC in July 2008, and got my first ever BFP in September. I started bleeding at around six weeks and lost the pregnancy. I waited a month, and tried again. We got our second BFP in November, but I started bleeding at six weeks and we lost the pregnancy. We waited three months, and started to try again. First month - BFN. Second month - BFP. I started bleeding at six weeks and lost the pregnancy. We went on holiday, came back, attended our appointment at the recurrent miscarriage clinic, and on the same day, feeling very sick, I tested as I realised AF hadn't turned up after our last miscarriage, and BFP. Had an early scan, all looked good. Had 12 week scan, all looked good. Same at 21 week scan, and the little lady stayed in there until 42 weeks she was so determined (lots of baby glue!). Our daughter was born in February 2010, and has just turned one. She's perfect.

We're now starting to think about trying for number two! Things I'll take with me from TTC#1 - don't stress and don't try too hard. Often when you've lost a pregnancy (or three!) it makes you kind of crazy. The minute I stopped trying because I was suddenly focused on an appointment with a specialist, rather than getting pregnant, we conceived a healthy baby and enjoyed an issue free pregnancy. Who knows whether you're more fertile after a miscarriage - but it's possible to conceive straight after one, because I did. However, we only had sex once that month. All the other times, we had sex a lot because I was so determined to get pregnant. One doctor said to me that they do believe it's possible for you to be overly fertile, and that more than one sperm fertilizes the egg, so the more you have sex, the higher the chance of that happening. In which case, the pregnancy will certainly fail in the very early stages.

We'll never know - but I just thought I'd share my story. I hope it gives someone else hope in what can be a very heartbreaking time.

Wishing everyone all the best,

E x

 

[lozzie27]

what a truly lovely and inspiring story! Sorry for your losses and congrats and the birth of your daughter. This story has given me hope especially on a day I was feeling so down many thanks again and hope you have many fun filled and happy years with your daughter

 

[hollyw79]

I am soooo sorry for your losses Elizabethifgr.. definitely an inspiration that you kept on going and conceived your daughter successfully! Best of luck TTC #2!

I *WILL* say I do NOT give any merit to not overdoing the sex- the egg releases chemicals that prohibit any other sperm from entering. And in the HIGHLY RARE event that does happen- the embryo dies almost immediately. There are countless medical documents on this~ https://www.vivo.colostate.edu/hbooks/pathphys/reprod/fert/fert.html just one for example.

I just wouldn't want ANY ladies reducing the amount of BD'ng they do in fear of this happening- because you are actually lowering your odds of conceiving if you do- especially in hopes of preventing something that is pretty close to impossible to happening anyway. You ideally should BD every day to every other day for healthy, fresh sperm and you want as MANY in there as possible to help conceive.

 

[Elizabethifgr]

Yes, sorry - I didn't explain that very well! I didn't mean to suggest that reducing the amount of intercourse you have will result in a pregnancy. It was just one doctor's suggestion as to why we had so many unexplained miscarriages. I personally don't think we'll ever know why.

E x

 

[hollyw79]

I think it's frustrating that we don't know why, you know? I wish more money was spent to investigate miscarriages. I've read that up to 40% of conceptions don't make it THAT IS AWFUL. That is 40% of babies dying the way I see it - how could money NOT be spent on that?? I don't see how we justify paying people MILLIONS of dollars to run down a field for sports but then don't spend $ on more worthwhile things??? ((SIGH))

I think MANY people don't understand unless they have been through it. I always felt bad for people who had miscarriages- but I never fully grasped the devastation until I went through it myself.

 

[hayley_m]

i agree with you holly.. it makes me so sad that they dont look into miscarriages until youve had 3 or 4. its so sad

sorry for your losses elizabeth its given me some hope though a friend at work said a similar thing happened to her. they'd had a big argument after ttc years, and when they made up, hey presto, thats what made her eldest daughter :')
i just dont know how to 'not think about it'?! the more i try not to, the more i do?! if that makes sense?