Arghh.. Fob's :@

[Linz88]

This is Very long and some info is unneccasary but i jus needed to write it somewere and get some advice.. p.s sowwie for all the typo errors..its a habit..

Me && My Ex AKA Fob were together for 2 yrs..
we 1st got pregnant in may 09 but miscarried,
then we got pregnant again in nov 09..we was BOTH very happy and planned to go away on holiday the next month (guess he wanted to pamper me)

well on boxing day i got a call from a girl say im seeing your bf & im pregnant so we broke up..
since then hes completly switched and doesnt rely want anything to do with the baby we PLANNED together..

neways the other girl is pregnant too and he has been beggin us both to get abortions..even tho he knows i definetly will not..

ii had a scan at 11 weeks and he didnt come and then a scan at 13 weeks.. i begged him to come as i thought that the scan was very important especially becasue what happened last time.. but he works from 7pm to 7am and the scan was 9am so he used the excuse that he had work and would be too tired but i new that wasnt true at all as he has finished work before and den gone shopping or to a theme park..and i asked him 10 days in advance and he couldve booked time off... ..in the end he admitted that he jus wasnt that bothered..

he said not to expect anything from him.. expect a few baby clothes before babies born and he wouldnt b going half towards the push chair or cot because i need to no what its like to be a single mom.. but he wud give me a little bit of change after.. (meaning £50 a month) and he'd come and see the baby every few months even tho we live about 5 minz away in car or 15 minz on 1 bus..

im not the kind of person to stop a man from seeing his child, as i grew up with out a dad and it affected me alot.. but i realise now that my mom did it for the right reasons as my dad sells drugs and jus acts about 19 but if he really does go through with seeing my child every few months wouldnt my baby be better not seeing him at all? because he's just going to be a stranger to the baby.. the baby surely wont remember him each time he comes round for a few hours
i really dont think he will love this baby..

anyone else in a similar situation xx

 

[littlekitten8]

Not in a similar situation hun but just wanted to say that you are a brave lady and you will do just great on your own. If he is working then once the baby is born you can go through the CSA and he will have to pay 30% of his wages so I would imagine more than £50 a month! Also you can claim the Sure Start pregnancy grant which gives you £500 towards pram, cot etc as you are a lone parent. If you ask your midwife she will be able to tell you when you can claim it. Basically just wanted to wish you luck and tell you that your baby will do great with his/her mummy's love

 

[Linz88]

aw thank you vry much xxxxxx

 

[Aidedhoney]

Not in the same situation but wanted to wish you luck as said above the CSA will ensure that FOB pays more than £50 per month xxx

 

[Alexandra91]

Hey i am in a similar situation, FOB is denying he is the father of my baby now he realises its going to be hard work. I think you will be fine on you own, no one needs a man like that around including your baby, im sure your LO will get all the love, care and attention it needs from you. When we first broke up i was petrified at what i was going to do with a baby all alone but now when i think of the future everything is clearer and easier than when i think of it with FOB involved as well. You will be entitled to money that will help you make the best life for you and your baby, good luck hun xx

 

[lou_w34]

I wouldnt stop him from seeing the baby either... but i would also not bother to contact him anymore, i wouldnt cut contact, i would just wait and see if he bothers to contact you, then if he does, it will show he does actually want to bother, but if he doesnt then i think it will show what his true intentions are.

And if he has a job id go to the csa, you will get more through them then what he is offering!



xx

 

[MissE007]

Sorry to hear that, I'm not in exactly the same situation, but kindof with this current FOB.

I wish I could give some good advice, but I would say just hang in there and keep going. Deal with him when you have the strength to, and for the rest of the time just focus on your future with the baby.
I personally think that's it better for him to have some contact with the baby...coz I think they have more of a chance to confront reality. But if it's too on/off you have to decide whether its worth it in the long term. x

 

[Jetters]

Good luck dealing with this, to be honest he sounds like an asshole! Telling you to get a abortion, especially when you planned it together, that's unforgivable. I'm in a similar situation to you, trying to decide if I should allow contact without money for the babies sake... poor us eh? And these jokes of men we slept with!!!