Minnie_me
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This will probably be very long but I make no apology for it as the whole journey to motherhood has been a long and incredibly bumpy one. I am sat here now with my daughter in her crib beside me and I still can't believe we made it.
My gynae history has been fairly hideous over the years - Fibroids is my "F" word and they have at times almost finished me off. It was less than 18 months ago that I haemorraghed in the toilets at Belfast airport and ended up in hospital in Ireland for a week whilst they tried to stem the bleeding etc. I can remember the thing that scared me the most through the whole experience was that someone would say they needed to give me a hysterectomy to save my life - thankfully it never came to that.
Fastforward to March 2010. Having had my second lot of fibroid surgery I went for a follow up with my consultant and he told me that if I did want to pursue my dream of motherhood then I needed to get on with it as my womb was "as good as it was likely to get" and I would more than likely get more fibroids in the near future. He referred me back to IVF Wales - the clinic where I had attempted to start treatment 2 years before and within 2 weeks I was sat discussing my options.
I had 2 tiny frozen eggs in the freezer -I had named them Zig and Zag - they were not even embryos and certainly weren't the best quality but I was thrilled to be in a position to at least retrieve them and give them a chance. I did a natural frozen cycle, was ecstatic that Zig and Zag survived the thaw and divided overnight and my favourite IVF doctor (Arianna) put the little 2 cell embryos back in on Monday 24 May 2010.
It never occured to me that it could work and when I discovered I was pregnant 2 weeks later with a single embryo who I then named Zigzag I was beyond thrilled and still gripped by fear that this was going to be some kind of cruel joke which would be snatched away at any time. The anxiety continued throughout the preganancy with me only allowing me a tiny belief that I would get to the end with my little one.
Finding myself at 39 weeks was surreal - I was like a weeble. My 8 stone frame was now trying to support a baby that was measuring big and surrounded by masses of fluid. Probably no great surprise then that when I went to see my consultant last Tuesday (08/02/11) the "not so little one" had not managed to engage.
My consultant decided that as I was having quite a few firm tightenings that I was probably close to going into labour and, with the baby not engaged, there was a risk that if I did that the cord would drop first and cause unthinkable consequences. He admitted me to hospital that evening and I remained under observation for the rest of the week deciding that if the baby did not engage then I would be delivered by C section on the Friday.
Ironically on the Friday (11/02/11) I seemed to go into early labour but I was last on the list for C section so had to sit it out thinking...."well nobody can say I haven't experienced the whole package here!" Mid afternoon I was transferred up to the delivery suite and I could feel the emotions getting higher and higher (not to mention my contractions getting stronger).
At 4pm my consultant came to see me and confirmed that little one still hadn't done what was needed and so we were all set and mum and I headed down to the theatre. We had been in there for a minute or so when someone shouted "stop", there was an emergency on the ward so I had to go back to my room and wait a little longer. (2 hours longer to be precise) so I went to sleep to try and help me cope with the tightenings.
6pm came and my consultant returned - I begged him to stay on as I really wanted him to do my surgery and he just laughed and reassured me that he wasn't going anywhere - the pair of us had been on such a long journey together and he wanted to see it through.
Back to theatre we went where the team were fantastic, really friendly and relaxed. They took my iPod and I had my labour playlist put on in the theatre. I apologised for my cheesy music choice but realised that everyone was quite enjoying it - the midwives were singing along as I was prepped and the anaethetist said he had never administered an epidural to Flashdance and The One and Only. I told my consultant that I really wanted to see my baby enter the world and he agreed to lower the partition once he had done the incision.
With my mum by my side and (I think) Martina McBride's "In My Daughter's Eyes" playing, we watched as two chunky legs came out (caught on camera by my mum), eventually followed by my daughter's little face. It was all very calm and she didn't scream, my mum was calling to me that she was fine, just very laid back. I was watching from across the room as they rubbed her down and they called that she was 10lb2ozs. (You what? That's more than I weigh!!) Finally she had her vitamin K jab and screamed - and I broke down. At 18:28 on Friday 11 February 2011, my dreams came true.
I had said from the outset that I wanted skin to skin with her as soon as possible so my electrodes and gown had been positioned to ensure that this could happen and very soon my gorgeous baby girl was snuggling against me as the midwives sang along to "Love Me for a Reason".
I was barely aware of the rest of the procedure as my little girl was in my arms and I was complete. We stayed cuddling together for several hours - it was the most magical time - me, her and my parents (her Nana and Grandpa).
There was a bit of a blip when I suddenly felt terrible pain in my wound and was crying in pain. They gave me Tramadol (sp), initially orally but when it didn't take effect, by IV. I was pushed round to the ward with my little girl in my arms and as I came through the doors I threw up everywhere - oooops!
I spent the whole night watching her, cuddling her and kissing her. She is the most wonderful gift I could ever have been given.
I have named her Ariana (after my wonderful IVF doctor -but spelt the Welsh way with just the one "n"), Valerie (after my mum's dear sister, my aunt who we lost a few years back), Faith (because I needed a huge mountain of it to keep pursuing my dream of being a mummy).
Will add pics very soon. Thanks for reading and sharing my joy. I hope you all have such special memories and wonderful experiences.
My gynae history has been fairly hideous over the years - Fibroids is my "F" word and they have at times almost finished me off. It was less than 18 months ago that I haemorraghed in the toilets at Belfast airport and ended up in hospital in Ireland for a week whilst they tried to stem the bleeding etc. I can remember the thing that scared me the most through the whole experience was that someone would say they needed to give me a hysterectomy to save my life - thankfully it never came to that.
Fastforward to March 2010. Having had my second lot of fibroid surgery I went for a follow up with my consultant and he told me that if I did want to pursue my dream of motherhood then I needed to get on with it as my womb was "as good as it was likely to get" and I would more than likely get more fibroids in the near future. He referred me back to IVF Wales - the clinic where I had attempted to start treatment 2 years before and within 2 weeks I was sat discussing my options.
I had 2 tiny frozen eggs in the freezer -I had named them Zig and Zag - they were not even embryos and certainly weren't the best quality but I was thrilled to be in a position to at least retrieve them and give them a chance. I did a natural frozen cycle, was ecstatic that Zig and Zag survived the thaw and divided overnight and my favourite IVF doctor (Arianna) put the little 2 cell embryos back in on Monday 24 May 2010.
It never occured to me that it could work and when I discovered I was pregnant 2 weeks later with a single embryo who I then named Zigzag I was beyond thrilled and still gripped by fear that this was going to be some kind of cruel joke which would be snatched away at any time. The anxiety continued throughout the preganancy with me only allowing me a tiny belief that I would get to the end with my little one.
Finding myself at 39 weeks was surreal - I was like a weeble. My 8 stone frame was now trying to support a baby that was measuring big and surrounded by masses of fluid. Probably no great surprise then that when I went to see my consultant last Tuesday (08/02/11) the "not so little one" had not managed to engage.
My consultant decided that as I was having quite a few firm tightenings that I was probably close to going into labour and, with the baby not engaged, there was a risk that if I did that the cord would drop first and cause unthinkable consequences. He admitted me to hospital that evening and I remained under observation for the rest of the week deciding that if the baby did not engage then I would be delivered by C section on the Friday.
Ironically on the Friday (11/02/11) I seemed to go into early labour but I was last on the list for C section so had to sit it out thinking...."well nobody can say I haven't experienced the whole package here!" Mid afternoon I was transferred up to the delivery suite and I could feel the emotions getting higher and higher (not to mention my contractions getting stronger).
At 4pm my consultant came to see me and confirmed that little one still hadn't done what was needed and so we were all set and mum and I headed down to the theatre. We had been in there for a minute or so when someone shouted "stop", there was an emergency on the ward so I had to go back to my room and wait a little longer. (2 hours longer to be precise) so I went to sleep to try and help me cope with the tightenings.
6pm came and my consultant returned - I begged him to stay on as I really wanted him to do my surgery and he just laughed and reassured me that he wasn't going anywhere - the pair of us had been on such a long journey together and he wanted to see it through.
Back to theatre we went where the team were fantastic, really friendly and relaxed. They took my iPod and I had my labour playlist put on in the theatre. I apologised for my cheesy music choice but realised that everyone was quite enjoying it - the midwives were singing along as I was prepped and the anaethetist said he had never administered an epidural to Flashdance and The One and Only. I told my consultant that I really wanted to see my baby enter the world and he agreed to lower the partition once he had done the incision.
With my mum by my side and (I think) Martina McBride's "In My Daughter's Eyes" playing, we watched as two chunky legs came out (caught on camera by my mum), eventually followed by my daughter's little face. It was all very calm and she didn't scream, my mum was calling to me that she was fine, just very laid back. I was watching from across the room as they rubbed her down and they called that she was 10lb2ozs. (You what? That's more than I weigh!!) Finally she had her vitamin K jab and screamed - and I broke down. At 18:28 on Friday 11 February 2011, my dreams came true.
I had said from the outset that I wanted skin to skin with her as soon as possible so my electrodes and gown had been positioned to ensure that this could happen and very soon my gorgeous baby girl was snuggling against me as the midwives sang along to "Love Me for a Reason".
I was barely aware of the rest of the procedure as my little girl was in my arms and I was complete. We stayed cuddling together for several hours - it was the most magical time - me, her and my parents (her Nana and Grandpa).
There was a bit of a blip when I suddenly felt terrible pain in my wound and was crying in pain. They gave me Tramadol (sp), initially orally but when it didn't take effect, by IV. I was pushed round to the ward with my little girl in my arms and as I came through the doors I threw up everywhere - oooops!
I spent the whole night watching her, cuddling her and kissing her. She is the most wonderful gift I could ever have been given.
I have named her Ariana (after my wonderful IVF doctor -but spelt the Welsh way with just the one "n"), Valerie (after my mum's dear sister, my aunt who we lost a few years back), Faith (because I needed a huge mountain of it to keep pursuing my dream of being a mummy).
Will add pics very soon. Thanks for reading and sharing my joy. I hope you all have such special memories and wonderful experiences.
