Arrggh :'(

[Gee123]

I don't even think my OH cares about the baby sometimes, all he has bought our son is a pair of scratch mittens, i mean, seriously! He thinks its going to be easy. Whenever i try to talk him about it he just dismisses the topic altogether and it drives me so frickin crazy!! I'm like, "you don't know how much it affects my life, i can't go to college and see my friends etc". and then all he says, "this affects me too", "HOW THE HELL does it?? All you do is go to college and then sit at home and watch TV!" I had to convince him for ages to put up the crib he still complained and it only took him an hour. Its not fair that his life goes on as normal and i have to carry his son for 9 months and then look after him while he goes out drinking all the time. I mean, i do love him and everything and i'm grateful that he hasn't ran off but i just wanted a little bit more support than this. I did warn him that when he does have his son in his arms that his life would completely change like a smack in the face. I just hope his personality changes too.
Anyone else in this situation?

 

[Leopard]

My DF hasn't bought anything for LO. Actually my best friend (who is a guy) has bought more for her. My mum, sister, dad, step mum, friends, MIL, GMIL and myself have all bought things (myself mostly since I've bought half the clothes, the cot, the nappy stacker, the single bed for when she is older and the car seat) and DF seems to think he doesnt have to spend a cent. To make things worse I am now paying an electricity bill that is in his name, and after that ($100 a ftnt) and rent (180 a ftnt each) I'm left with $70 to play with, which then goes almost soley into the last of my baby stuff or shopping (Normally I pay for almost all the groceries). So don't worry I know exactly how you feel.

 

[Ramen]

Didn't want to read and run I don't have any advice, but I'm sorry you both are having to deal with that

 

[nicolefx]

Even if he isn't interested in the shopping bit (lets face it not alot of guys are LOL!) would be even give you the money to get LO bits and bobs? xxx

 

[x__amour]

 

[Gee123]

Even if he isn't interested in the shopping bit (lets face it not alot of guys are LOL!) would be even give you the money to get LO bits and bobs? xxx

Haha i know right. Its not the money that bothers me as much, its like he doesn't want to talk about the baby and acts like he isn't there. i guess its just coz he isn't physically and emotionally involved as me. xxx

 

[nicolefx]

Even if he isn't interested in the shopping bit (lets face it not alot of guys are LOL!) would be even give you the money to get LO bits and bobs? xxx

Haha i know right. Its not the money that bothers me as much, its like he doesn't want to talk about the baby and acts like he isn't there. i guess its just coz he isn't physically and emotionally involved as me. xxx

Yeah I know what you mean - OH is very involved with bump as in wanting to feel kicks, asking how he is, kissing bump etc but when I start going on about baby stuff it goes in one ear and out the other! It gets irritating, hugs xxx

 

[KiwiMOM]

I know exactly how you feel. I hate when my OH goes on about all the changes in his life.. and I just know once LO is here it will be the same "I'll just go out with our friends and leave you behind" that I'm experiencing now, and I'm like I KNOW you have lots of changes but you have nothing to do for the next 6 months.

I'm having 12 week scan anxiety and was crying earlier about "how sure I am something's gone wrong" and how ruined I would be if I lose this baby and he goes: "i know how you feel, I'm kind of attached now(?!)" they just don't get it, so hoping for your and my sake that some kind of magical boy enlightenment occurs between now and the arrival of our LO's

 

[youngmummy94]

Don't wanna R&R but hopefully he'll change when LO is here, I know alot of boys are like this
On a nicer note, we are due a few days apart!

 

[xx~Lor~xx]

'A girl becomes a mother when she finds out she's pregnant, a boy becomes a father when the baby is born.' Unfortunately this is the case for alot of men/boys, particularly if it wasn't planned, they struggle to comprehend it until they're holding their LOs in their arms, then it REALLY hits them.

I hope he gets his head around it and starts being more supportive hun. Men handle pregnancies differently, lets just hope its a passing thing and he grows up fast once your baby arrives.

 

[trinaestella]

I don't even think my OH cares about the baby sometimes, all he has bought our son is a pair of scratch mittens, i mean, seriously! He thinks its going to be easy. Whenever i try to talk him about it he just dismisses the topic altogether and it drives me so frickin crazy!! I'm like, "you don't know how much it affects my life, i can't go to college and see my friends etc". and then all he says, "this affects me too", "HOW THE HELL does it?? All you do is go to college and then sit at home and watch TV!" I had to convince him for ages to put up the crib he still complained and it only took him an hour. Its not fair that his life goes on as normal and i have to carry his son for 9 months and then look after him while he goes out drinking all the time. I mean, i do love him and everything and i'm grateful that he hasn't ran off but i just wanted a little bit more support than this. I did warn him that when he does have his son in his arms that his life would completely change like a smack in the face. I just hope his personality changes too.
Anyone else in this situation?

I'm sort of in that situation, it's like only recently he's started to show a little bit more interest in our girl because I gave him a long proper talk about it, maybe you should do the same too? If not, then I think you should have your head set as a single mother that's what I did, and still do. He buys LO a few things and he loves to touch my belly but he isn't as supportive as he should be like only one scan he has came to, but he doesn't even want to come to any of my antenatal classes

Don't worry hun you're not alone, what my sister told me to do is what I'm telling you and that's just do things alone and if he is still the same when your son is here then I suggest you do what's right for your son and yourself and leave him. I told my boyfriend the same thing, "i'm leaving you for the sake of myself and our baby. you don't show any interest and i'm not sure you really want this baby" after that he changed...well sort of

I'm here if you need me

 

[BabyDuy]

i am sorry that you have to go through that , i got extreamly lucky that my OH is so involved. if it were up to him he would want to stay home and be pregnant and i would go to work haha

 

[Gee123]

Even if he isn't interested in the shopping bit (lets face it not alot of guys are LOL!) would be even give you the money to get LO bits and bobs? xxx

Haha i know right. Its not the money that bothers me as much, its like he doesn't want to talk about the baby and acts like he isn't there. i guess its just coz he isn't physically and emotionally involved as me. xxx

Yeah I know what you mean - OH is very involved with bump as in wanting to feel kicks, asking how he is, kissing bump etc but when I start going on about baby stuff it goes in one ear and out the other! It gets irritating, hugs xxx

I wish OH would do those things, whenever baby kicks i have to put his hand on my tummy and then he takes it off a minute later, i'm like "did you feel him?" and he just says "yeah" and changes the subject. grrr. xxx

 

[Gee123]

I don't even think my OH cares about the baby sometimes, all he has bought our son is a pair of scratch mittens, i mean, seriously! He thinks its going to be easy. Whenever i try to talk him about it he just dismisses the topic altogether and it drives me so frickin crazy!! I'm like, "you don't know how much it affects my life, i can't go to college and see my friends etc". and then all he says, "this affects me too", "HOW THE HELL does it?? All you do is go to college and then sit at home and watch TV!" I had to convince him for ages to put up the crib he still complained and it only took him an hour. Its not fair that his life goes on as normal and i have to carry his son for 9 months and then look after him while he goes out drinking all the time. I mean, i do love him and everything and i'm grateful that he hasn't ran off but i just wanted a little bit more support than this. I did warn him that when he does have his son in his arms that his life would completely change like a smack in the face. I just hope his personality changes too.
Anyone else in this situation?

I'm sort of in that situation, it's like only recently he's started to show a little bit more interest in our girl because I gave him a long proper talk about it, maybe you should do the same too? If not, then I think you should have your head set as a single mother that's what I did, and still do. He buys LO a few things and he loves to touch my belly but he isn't as supportive as he should be like only one scan he has came to, but he doesn't even want to come to any of my antenatal classes

Don't worry hun you're not alone, what my sister told me to do is what I'm telling you and that's just do things alone and if he is still the same when your son is here then I suggest you do what's right for your son and yourself and leave him. I told my boyfriend the same thing, "i'm leaving you for the sake of myself and our baby. you don't show any interest and i'm not sure you really want this baby" after that he changed...well sort of

I'm here if you need me

You sound so strong. Whenever i try to sit down and talk to him he just says i'm trying to start arguements with him. We've been through a lot as a couple and losing him would be heartbreaking plus i want my baby to have both his parents together. So you kinda scared him into changing lol that could work.

 

[Gee123]

I know exactly how you feel. I hate when my OH goes on about all the changes in his life.. and I just know once LO is here it will be the same "I'll just go out with our friends and leave you behind" that I'm experiencing now, and I'm like I KNOW you have lots of changes but you have nothing to do for the next 6 months.

I'm having 12 week scan anxiety and was crying earlier about "how sure I am something's gone wrong" and how ruined I would be if I lose this baby and he goes: "i know how you feel, I'm kind of attached now(?!)" they just don't get it, so hoping for your and my sake that some kind of magical boy enlightenment occurs between now and the arrival of our LO's

Awww dont you just hate it when they say that their lives are changing dramatically? They don't have to do a single thing.
He sounds like an idiot He should be reassuring you. I hope so too

 

[Gee123]

Don't wanna R&R but hopefully he'll change when LO is here, I know alot of boys are like this
On a nicer note, we are due a few days apart!

Hopefully, my fingers are tightly crossed.
I guess it's rare to find a guy who would commit completely to you.
So we are! I love the name you've chosen. Is it just me or are you getting really impatient too? When i hit week 30 i was like and now i'm thinking its soo gonna drag!

 

[tinkerbelle93]

Threads like these make me so mad lol, sometimes I really hate men!

I think it's the same with a lot of men, they somehow think their job is done once they've given their sperm and helped make the baby lol. They somehow think it's the mother's responsibility to do everything.. that the mother is somehow more involved with being a parent then they are. My OH was a bit like this.. he's been working hard and buying stuff etc. etc. but it took a few arguments and me putting my point across to make him realise that i've made sacrifices (not going to university etc.) and that he too needs to make sacrifices.. like keeping his car and not wasting money on a new one, not going on a lads holiday etc. It's not down to us girls to make all the sacrifices so the men can carry on as normal!

I'd say just be very vocal with him and get your point across, this is what I do with my OH and he seems to listen- sometimes men just don't realise. And you're still pregnant so hopefully when your baby is born it'll change. Obviously men don't go through pregnancy so sometimes it can take them seeing and holding the baby for the first time to realise that they are now parents. xx

 

[Gee123]

'A girl becomes a mother when she finds out she's pregnant, a boy becomes a father when the baby is born.' Unfortunately this is the case for alot of men/boys, particularly if it wasn't planned, they struggle to comprehend it until they're holding their LOs in their arms, then it REALLY hits them.

I hope he gets his head around it and starts being more supportive hun. Men handle pregnancies differently, lets just hope its a passing thing and he grows up fast once your baby arrives.

Me too. Thanks

 

[Gee123]

Threads like these make me so mad lol, sometimes I really hate men!

I think it's the same with a lot of men, they somehow think their job is done once they've given their sperm and helped make the baby lol. They somehow think it's the mother's responsibility to do everything.. that the mother is somehow more involved with being a parent then they are. My OH was a bit like this.. he's been working hard and buying stuff etc. etc. but it took a few arguments and me putting my point across to make him realise that i've made sacrifices (not going to university etc.) and that he too needs to make sacrifices.. like keeping his car and not wasting money on a new one, not going on a lads holiday etc. It's not down to us girls to make all the sacrifices so the men can carry on as normal!

I'd say just be very vocal with him and get your point across, this is what I do with my OH and he seems to listen- sometimes men just don't realise. And you're still pregnant so hopefully when your baby is born it'll change. Obviously men don't go through pregnancy so sometimes it can take them seeing and holding the baby for the first time to realise that they are now parents. xx

Well said.