Arrrgh! CSA help?!

[Abby_]

I neeeeeeed some help!!!
I will be 37 weeks on sunday, so LO could come at any point!
Anyway, i've not heard from FOB for months now, he has never said anything about money or support so i don't really know what to do.
When should i apply for csa?
How do i go about it?
Is it the best thing to do, or will he have more control should he decide he suddenly wants to be involved?
Can they find where he lives when i don't have an address for him?
If i claim csa will FOB automatically be put on the birth certificate?

I know some ladies don't want money off their FOB, but to me, my FOB helped make this baby so he can help support him.
I also know i have about a billion more questions, but can't think of them atm.
Any help will be appreciated!

 

[teal]

I'm probably not going to be much help but didn't want to read and run. Hopefully someone with experience will reply soon.

You can't apply for it until after your baby has arrived (I'm not sure how long after), I think you just have to contact csa and give them FOB's details, if you don't have an address just give them what you do have and they'll try to find him, no he won't be put on the birth certificate unless you agree or he takes you to court for parental responsibility.

About the best thing to do, that's really a personal decision hun. I don't have any contact with FOB (his choice) and I don't claim any child maintenance from him. I could appreciate it's the best thing because he'd be giving you something for your child. As far as control goes it would go in his favour that he is providing something if it did go to court for access, etc.. Maybe just think about how you would feel if he contacted you once the CSA was set up. Just if you would feel ok if he wanted to see your baby after this long.

Sorry if I'm not much use. You're so close to full term. Really not long at all xx

 

[Abby_]

Ah, thank you! That really does help, especially about the birth certificate part. I was worried i'd have no say over it.
I think i will have to really think about whether i'd be okay with having so much access to LO after not being around for so long. I don't want to deny him access to his kid at all, but i'd like to be able to control the whole situation so i'd feel comfortable.
Thank you for your help!

 

[Laura2919]

The twins dad is on their BC and he was the one who initiated contact with CSA. I'm not sure how it works with regards to the BC but you can only contact them once LO is born.

CSA can do two things, they can go straight to his employer or they can ask him to provide them with wage slips. FOB gave them permission to go straight to his employer so they didn't need to wait to receive any paperwork. My claim only took 3 weeks in all to finalise.

 

[angelpkj]

i personally wouldnt put him on the BC
in my situation it meant he would use his "parental rights" when he felt like it
worst thing i ever did-wish id waited to see how he would be with LO before giving him "rights!"

 

[Abby_]

i personally wouldnt put him on the BC
in my situation it meant he would use his "parental rights" when he felt like it
worst thing i ever did-wish id waited to see how he would be with LO before giving him "rights!"

Yeh my plan is to give it a year before at least considering putting him on it. It is just a name on a piece of paper really, if he wants to be a father, I won't stop him.

 

[Laura2919]

PR is a very shady area. It doesn't always work out in someone's favour be you the mother or the father, I've seen both parents have difficulties.